I used to be funny

[n8Romantic]

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!"
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

 

[grumpyoldperv]

This thread needs a bump (and grind).

 

[Mo_Bandy]

I used to be funny too. Now I am just a huge fucking cock. Sue me.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I used to be funny too. Now I am just a huge fucking cock. Sue me.

I think you spelled “suck” wrong

 

[Mo_Bandy]

I think you spelled “suck” wrong

I tend to have to pay for that.

 

[jaF0]

I never was.

 

[Mrtenant]

There is this convention about the supernatural. A guest speaker is there to talk about ghosts. The room is packed for this one.

The speaker asks everyone to stand up who has seen a ghost. 30 people stand up.

The speaker asks everyone standing to remain standing if they've been touched by a ghost. Everyone else to take a seat. 15 people remain standing.

The speaker asks everyone standing to remain standing if they've been kissed by a ghost. Everyone else to take a seat. 6 people remain standing.

The speaker asks everyone standing to remain standing if they've had sex with a ghost. Everyone else take a seat. One guy all the way in the back is left standing.

The speaker calls him forward to the stage and asks him, so you've had sex with a ghost? Tell us about it.

The man says, ghost? I thought you said goat!