I thought about PC tonight

[Calamity Jane]

I was baking cookies... chocolate and peanut butter chip... and talking to a friend when the greyhound started up with her "OH MY GOD THERE'S A VARMINT IN THE YARD" bark. Of course, the other two dogs join in, and then the terrier screams like he's being torn to pieces.

So, I grab the .22 and toss my friend a flashlight and go running outside. I got the door open and made it about three steps when I was hit in the face with the most gawdawful stench imaginable.

Fuckers decided it'd be a good idea to chase a skunk. Couldn't be killing the weekly possum. Couldn't be the one last raccoon to make their monthly quota... had to be a skunk.

So anyway... PC... since you're so in love with your own personal stench, I don't suppose you'd be willing to bathe my dogs for me?

 

[Problem Child]

You're so cool and smart and ballsy for making a post like that, I'm now giving up my whoorish language for the night.

*smooch*

 

[Calamity Jane]

But will you bathe the dogs?

 

[Problem Child]

But will you bathe the dogs?

Can I get in the big washtub with them and blow fartbubbles?

 

[Calamity Jane]

If you wanna blow fart bubbles in a tomato juice bath, who am I to stop you?

 

[Problem Child]

If you wanna blow fart bubbles in a tomato juice bath, who am I to stop you?

Not only DO I, but I'm getting a boner sitting here thinking about that red tomatoey heaven swirling around my swollen naughty bits!

I'm gonna have a V-8!

 

[Calamity Jane]

Hmmm... how did I miss the fact that V8 was an erotic beverage?