I think my heart is going to die

[Purrde Flower]

MY kids have been gone for one full week now in about 2 hours. I am feeling so desperate. I have spent this last week looking for jobs, applying to everything I can. I talk to my kids everyday. Every single day I call and talk to them. They are doing so well I know it was a good choice to let them stay with their dad until the end of this summer. I am just feeling so ripped up. Right now.

I will be fine of course. I just hate feeling this way. Things aren't as bad as they could be. So that is somehting good. I am sure I will get a job really soon. That is somehting good. There are many good things. Everything will work out.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Good luck.

 

[k¡tty]

It's good that you're trying to stay postitive Purrde, don't let things get you down hon.

 

[Guest]

Hang in there, purrde. Things will get better, for sure, you're keeping positive whiach is great. Even if you feel down, pretend you;re up. It works, honest.

 

[m4m4 l0n9]

In before you get really wasted and do something you regret.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Purrde Flower]

In before you get really wasted and do something you regret.

I don't drink (except on rare occasion), don't drugs and I am not considering suicide or one night stands at the local club. I'm just depressed currently not completely stupid.

I know things wont always be this way and I always knew this is going to be hard. But knowing and actually going through it is two different things.

Next week will be different.

 

[marksgirl]

Just wait until one of them grows up and moves out and away from you so you can't see them hardly at all anymore.

 

[Guest]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

First time I left my kid I went out to work a ship for two weeks, and it was physically painful. Hope you find work.

 

[Jewelz]

My thoughts are with you Purrde.

 

[m4m4 l0n9]

I don't drink (except on rare occasion), don't drugs and I am not considering suicide or one night stands at the local club. I'm just depressed currently not completely stupid.

I know things wont always be this way and I always knew this is going to be hard. But knowing and actually going through it is two different things.

Next week will be different.

You're aware at least that this is just a "moments" occurance and you're thinking long term. That is something most people wouldn't do, they'd feel sorry for themselves and take it out on someone and then have an excuse to do whatever they have to do to get heard.

 

[Purrde Flower]

You're aware at least that this is just a "moments" occurance and you're thinking long term. That is something most people wouldn't do, they'd feel sorry for themselves and take it out on someone and then have an excuse to do whatever they have to do to get heard.

Well I'm not considering going out to murder anyone either. You scare me. I am glad I am going to stay inside tonight.. Is the moon full?

 

[Rex1960]

All the best for you. Time heels.

Each time I have to drop off my lil babygirl, that is every second sunday, I die a little.

 

[m4m4 l0n9]

Well I'm not considering going out to murder anyone either. You scare me. I am glad I am going to stay inside tonight.. Is the moon full?

LOL! I'm just your average joe, nothing to be worried about.

I don't know yet... it's only 3:00pm here. Too early to tell

 

[intrigued]

It's times like this that it plain sucks to be sitting behind a damn computer, unable to do what you really want to do most.



Bless you.

 

[Guest]

 

[Elitist]

Frightful situation. Be strong my dear and you shall overcome.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

For Purrde Flower

I was just sent this and it made me think of you and the love you have for your kids.


The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child pasted the gold paper so as to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl proudly brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said, "This is for you, Momma."
The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she found the box was empty. She spoke to her in a harsh manner, "Don't you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package?"

The little girl looked up at her with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Momma, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was full."

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her to forgive her for her unnecessary anger.

When the child grew up and moved away the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

A child's love often comes to us in ways we don't expect, cherish it always.

 

[Purrde Flower]

Oh now I just want to cry that was beautiful