I should have been born a Siren

Ms_Lilith

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Joined
Mar 12, 2002
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and I hate myself for it. I just wish I wouldn't hurt people. Was it the Siren's fault that they lured sailors to their death? Or were the Sirens lonely creatures, who craved love and attention, and were cursed with a beautiful voice?

It must have been a curse.

Sorry everyone, I'm just venting.
 
It's okay Vixen. Sometimes we hurt people without really meaning too. It doesn't mean you're bad, just try to make amends as best you can and move on.

Venting is good. Keeps you regular.
 
For you, Vixen. We all have moments of torment when we know that what we have done was our own fault, and we curse ourselves for the errors we have committed and pain we have inflicted. It's human to do such things, and learn from the mistakes that we make. The fact that you feel bad about it redeems you in many ways.
 
If you can't vent at lit where can you? :)

It would be very confusing to have two Sirens here, though.
 
I rarely believe in helplessness when pertaining to one's own actions. It's good that you feel bad about whatever was done, but the second step is to mend your ways.
 
I met another Siren last night... I've only known him for a few weeks online, and I thought that he had developed some kind of interest in me, and even though I was only interested in friendship with him, I rather enjoyed the attention. I made the mistake of bringing my best friend.. the beautiful, talented, wonderful, blah blah blah, friend with me... and I crashed on his rocky shores, and was tossed by the waves, only to hear him speak of her for about an hour after we said goodbye in person. Each word for some reason felt like another sharp rock I'd been tossed against... and I suppose I have just received a taste of my own medicine.

WHY do I bring her with me? I should have expected him to pursue her, it's only normal. My bf and I talked last night about it, and he's told me that any sane man would pursue her.. and that most would drop me for her. He told me that, if he was single, he's pursue her. Yes. That all helped greatly. I went to bed feeling dejected and alone, and for the first time in a while, I cried myself to sleep.

I am still upset this morning, as one blow, the Siren, was enough. But my bf said plenty last night that hurt me as well. And that is what really got to me. That is what kept me up for hours. That is what pierced me.

What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I not beautiful enough? Am I not charming enough? Will I always remain in her shadow, till the end of time?

Fuck.
 
vixenshe said:
My bf and I talked last night about it, and he's told me that any sane man would pursue her.. and that most would drop me for her. He told me that, if he was single, he'd pursue her.

WTF?!?!?! I'm sorry hon, but do you really want to spend any more time with this guy?

Has he always been emotionally and physically abusive or was this the first time? I don't think your relationship could ever be too stable if he's only with you because he feels trapped and has to settle for you. Set him free to pursue greener grass. You'll both be better-off.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this, Vix.
 
This is just the first time... but.. he was 'pointing out how men think'... and... if you saw my friend, and heard her speak, and all that.. I'm sure you'd understand. But this is like.. my most sensitive button.. and he pressed it, when I was feeling ugly enough. He says that he didn't mean it that way, he was just trying to illustrate how most men think... and perhaps I was oversensitive.. but... fuck it hurt.
 
If he actually said that if he were single, he'd pursue her, then that's not addressing how most men think, that's how HE thinks and feels.

I know how you feel with being the 'second fiddle' in a group of friends or as a pair of friends. It's been that way for me most of my life. Why else would I have developed such an obnoxious sense of humor if not as a way of gaining attention for myself?

:D
 
to me, my best friend is my sister.. I've known her 17 of my 20 years in this life, and I love her to death..She is my rock, and if I ever found a soulmate, it would be her. I love her to death. And she knew this would cause trouble. But my entire life has been spent listening to guys chat me up only for her number. I've had guys 'fall' for me only to leave me to pursue her. NOrmally, she'll have none of it. But this one.. I think she will go for this one. Which is fine, it just hurts that it seems all men would rather have her than me.

Fuck, maybe I should just be a full-out dyke.
 
vixenshe said:


What the fuck is wrong with me? Am I not beautiful enough? Am I not charming enough? Will I always remain in her shadow, till the end of time?

Fuck.

You are all those things and so MUCH more.

What your b/f said seems very insensitive and I hope you know that it's ok to have all those feelings.

You're not always in her shadow... for one thing, you're not in her shadow HERE.

I'm sorry that you're hurting.

*hug*
 
I'm not in her shadow here YET. I have hidden this site from her, in hopes that I might have my own space.. and surround myself with people who would like to talk to ME.

Please dont misunderstand me. She doesn't mean to attract people to her.. she is simply an amazing woman. And I would give up anything if it meant saving our friendship.. we've only fought once in our 17 year friendship. She and I are sisters.. and we have always needed each other, since we were three.

I just wish I could show men that I'm something special.
 
vixenshe said:
I'm not in her shadow here YET. I have hidden this site from her, in hopes that I might have my own space.. and surround myself with people who would like to talk to ME.

Please dont misunderstand me. She doesn't mean to attract people to her.. she is simply an amazing woman. And I would give up anything if it meant saving our friendship.. we've only fought once in our 17 year friendship. She and I are sisters.. and we have always needed each other, since we were three.

I just wish I could show men that I'm something special.

Like I said, I know where you're coming from and it definitely DOES suck. All that you can do is seek out someone who will love you for you - for ALL of you - your looks, your personality, your little quirks.

There are some people who are more attractive and charming and just seem more desirable in every possible way when compared to ourselves. That's just part of life.

But there are people who desire US the way we are, or will desire us.

Please try to be strong, and know that we care about you. And if your ego needs a boost, just re-read the comments to your pics on the Amateur Pics forum!
 
vixenshe said:
I'm not in her shadow here YET. I have hidden this site from her, in hopes that I might have my own space.. and surround myself with people who would like to talk to ME.

Please dont misunderstand me. She doesn't mean to attract people to her.. she is simply an amazing woman. And I would give up anything if it meant saving our friendship.. we've only fought once in our 17 year friendship. She and I are sisters.. and we have always needed each other, since we were three.

I just wish I could show men that I'm something special.

You are special Vix, I can tell from your expression of pain. You are deep, intelligent and have a beautiful soul. Do not blame yourself for others perceptions, that's their problem not yours. The insensitivity shown by your BF is not inherent in every man.
 
Vixen... I know how you feel...

My best friend through Jr. High and High School was exactly the same to me...

I was the "best friend" to all her boyfriends.

I *feared* introducing her to any of my prospects...


Even though I know he wasn't the original issue in this thread, perhaps this situation has shed some light on your current b/f.


I always joke that I have "The Other Woman Complex"... that every man I meet holds another woman in higher regard than myself... It's painful.

But when you find "the one"... you will be first for him. He won't want anyone else above you, regardless of if he were single, taken, or living his last 20minutes on earth. Understand?
 
And y'know? It doesn't help that when my bf and my best friend first met, my mother warned me that I would lose him to her.

I never thought that was true, and I still don't, because I know he loves me. But he just said stuff that cut. It's the ones you love the most that hurt you the most.
 
vixenshe said:
to me, my best friend is my sister.. I've known her 17 of my 20 years in this life, and I love her to death..She is my rock, and if I ever found a soulmate, it would be her. I love her to death. And she knew this would cause trouble. But my entire life has been spent listening to guys chat me up only for her number. I've had guys 'fall' for me only to leave me to pursue her. NOrmally, she'll have none of it. But this one.. I think she will go for this one. Which is fine, it just hurts that it seems all men would rather have her than me.

Fuck, maybe I should just be a full-out dyke.

You're the fat girl to her skinnier girl. You make her feel good about herself.
 
Unregistered said:


You're the fat girl to her skinnier girl. You make her feel good about herself.

1) Thank you for calling me fat.
2) That arrangement doesn't work for as long as we've been friends. She and I are like sisters, and she's a great person. I'd rather you not label her so. My problem with the situation is the guy, not her. Hell, if she weren't my best friend, I'd pursue her. She's that wonderful of a person.
 
I think you are a beeyooteeful person vixenshe :D


I've lived my entire life in the shadows of my skinnier, prettier sister and friends. It's no way to live.. it's painful and lonesome. You are smart, funny, good-hearted and yes, beautiful. Love yourself and others will follow. :)
 
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