I Need to Have This Guy @ Work

[LIVVV]

I am at a point where I really need input with this exciting, yet potentially volatile problem. Here is the story I'm hoping someone can help me with.

I started work a few months ago. I am separated (1 yr) from an insensitive idiot, thank goodness. I'm getting on well with my life and renewed sexual freedom and more confidence than I've ever felt in my life.

The thing is, I really want this man at work is married (1 yr) but flirts quite a bit w/me, explicitly sometimes. It seems that he's not satisfied for a few reasons, he always stays late wasting time, didn't go home on his anniversary right away. We worked late. He flirts like hell. He tells me he doesn't feel good when I'm sad. I love our connection - a very cerebral and passionate attraction. I feel shocks in my body sometimes just talking to him.

He says courageous things, yet I don't know if he'll ever act out on them. I don't know what to do to accelerate this. I flirt with him and let him know and he reacts positively every time. I wore a thong and bent down to pick something up and he couldn't breathe.

Besides a lot of positive feedback, I want to get some action. Should I challenge him like saying "Oh, you're all talk" playfully?

I don't know where to go from here.

Help???

 

[SweetErika]

RUN! As fast and as far as you can. He either hasn't acted because (a) he has a conscience and knows better than to cheat on his wife (with a coworker no less...really stupid); or (b) he just likes playing games and getting a reaction out of you...it makes him feel good and powerful to be wanted by you.

Be friends with him, but you need to find someone who's single and not a coworker.

 

[zhukov1943]

Why do I always find myself agreeing with you, SweetErika?

 

[SIC]

Im sry but i fuckin hate cheaters sry. I am a guy and i hate when other guys cheat and i hate when girls cheat on there b/f's. If i ever had feelings for another girl i would tell my g/f and break up with her and tell her that it hurt but i doesnt hurt as much as if you were to find out.

He most likely is playing with you i find myself doing this more and more as i get older just to see what i could get!

 

[Lynxie]

Besides a lot of positive feedback, I want to get some action. Should I challenge him like saying "Oh, you're all talk" playfully?

I don't know where to go from here.

Help???

You've come to the wrong place if you're looking for positive feedback. Most posters on Lit absolutely despise cheating. My advice echoes that of SweetErika - you'd only be getting yourself into heaps of trouble if you pursued this man. Sure, maybe he's not happy at home - but it is your place to step in and put the nail in that relationship? I know I could never live with guilt like that. I can't stand people who cheat, and I don't much like people who help them do it, either.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Congratulations on getting out of a bad marriage. I remember the feeling myself, once free again to express your sexuality - very powerful. But you might want to ask yourself if you really want your next (first?) post marriage relationship to be with a married man.

I'm pretty sure many women could persuade many men to have a fling. ( I wanted to say 'most' here, but held back due to possible repercussions from the married crowd!) And if that's all you're looking for then far be it for me to pass any judgements. But be prepared for a lot of grief if your fling should turn into something more.

My advice? Flirt like hell with the married man - good for both of you - ego building fun. But tread very lightly on taking that flirtation into action. Keep your eyes wide open - take care of your heart and yourself FIRST!

 

[Bandit58]

I was probably married to your insensitive idiot's brother After I got out, after a marriage of over 20 years, I fell in love with a married man. It was wonderful to finally be appreciated, told I was beautiful and sexy, and be made love to and discover great sex.

But I found out the hard way that loving a married man just leads to heartbreak and pain. Especially one who made promises he could not keep. It all came crashing down after almost a year. His wife never knew about us. He is still having an affair with another woman in the same town (he lived 5 hours drive from me).

If all you want from this is fun and games, good luck to you. But this man and I never intended to fall in love, and what we had together took us by surprise. Be careful of your heart, as crazy says. I now know that it's much better to have someone who is free to love you as you deserve, and not someone who has responsibilities to another.

 

[SweetErika]

<snip> I'm pretty sure many women could persuade many men to have a fling. ( I wanted to say 'most' here, but held back due to possible repercussions from the married crowd!) And if that's all you're looking for then far be it for me to pass any judgements. But be prepared for a lot of grief if your fling should turn into something more. <snip>

No negative repercussions from this married woman...I might be married, but I'm quite confident I could persuade nearly any man to have a fling if I chose to do so. And if the advances were strong enough, the woman attractive enough, and my hubby happened to be having a day of great stupidity, she might be able to convince him to cheat too.

I just hope women are better than that, and use their powers for good, not evil.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

No negative repercussions from this married woman...I might be married, but I'm quite confident I could persuade nearly any man to have a fling if I chose to do so. And if the advances were strong enough, the woman attractive enough, and my hubby happened to be having a day of great stupidity, she might be able to convince him to cheat too.

I just hope women are better than that, and use their powers for good, not evil.

Good luck trying to convince a few of the male species to have a fling ^_~ some of us are remarkably resistant.

-Zergplex

 

[SweetErika]

Re: Zergplex Says

Good luck trying to convince a few of the male species to have a fling ^_~ some of us are remarkably resistant.

-Zergplex

That's why I qualified it with "nearly" my friend! It's a moot point anyway...I'm happy engaging in a constant fling with my man, and even if I was single, I wouldn't think of using my powers of seduction on a man who was committed in any way, shape, or form to another. I live by the golden rule.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

That's why I qualified it with "nearly" my friend! It's a moot point anyway...I'm happy engaging in a constant fling with my man, and even if I was single, I wouldn't think of using my powers of seduction on a man who was committed in any way, shape, or form to another. I live by the golden rule.

I know Erika, I didn't take it seriouly. I'm just anal about generilizations ^_^() as if you couldn't tell by half my posts over here.

The golden rule is always the rule to follow.

-Zergplex

 

[LadyJeanne]

After just getting out of a relationship with an 'insensitive idiot,' why would you want to get into a relationship with another insensitive idiot, this time a married one?

And why would you want to BE an insensitive idiot?

 

[Bystander]

After just getting out of a relationship with an 'insensitive idiot,' why would you want to get into a relationship with another insensitive idiot, this time a married one?

And why would you want to BE an insensitive idiot?

LOL thats funny. Said with sassy style

 

[done_got_old]

I am at a point where I really need input with this exciting, yet potentially volatile problem. Here is the story I'm hoping someone can help me with.

I started work a few months ago. I am separated (1 yr) from an insensitive idiot, thank goodness. I'm getting on well with my life and renewed sexual freedom and more confidence than I've ever felt in my life.

The thing is, I really want this man at work is married (1 yr) but flirts quite a bit w/me, explicitly sometimes. It seems that he's not satisfied for a few reasons, he always stays late wasting time, didn't go home on his anniversary right away. We worked late. He flirts like hell. He tells me he doesn't feel good when I'm sad. I love our connection - a very cerebral and passionate attraction. I feel shocks in my body sometimes just talking to him.

He says courageous things, yet I don't know if he'll ever act out on them. I don't know what to do to accelerate this. I flirt with him and let him know and he reacts positively every time. I wore a thong and bent down to pick something up and he couldn't breathe.

Besides a lot of positive feedback, I want to get some action. Should I challenge him like saying "Oh, you're all talk" playfully?

I don't know where to go from here.

Help???

I think you're setting yourself up to be hurt. I agree with a previous poster.......... trading one insensitive idiot for another one.

My advice would be to find someone who's free and unattached.

 

[Lust Engine]

He see you as an easy mark. And why shouldn't this new insensitive clod flirt with you? Obviously he's getting a rise out of you. He knows you're still vulnerable and he's taking full advantage of you.

Quit being the victim here. You fell for one dope and if you're not careful, you'll repeat the pattern only to fall into it for more pain and shame.

And a inter-office relationship? Want the rest of us to tell you the hazards of having a fling at the office??

Keep this guy at arms distance at best.

 

[Zergplex]

Zergplex Says

He see you as an easy mark. And why shouldn't this new insensitive clod flirt with you? Obviously he's getting a rise out of you. He knows you're still vulnerable and he's taking full advantage of you.

Quit being the victim here. You fell for one dope and if you're not careful, you'll repeat the pattern only to fall into it for more pain and shame.

And a inter-office relationship? Want the rest of us to tell you the hazards of having a fling at the office??

Keep this guy at arms distance at best.

Honestly from the way she wrote it it sounds like she is the one bushing the boundaries of propriety, he might be insensitive to his wife but it sounds like he is the one being seduced, not the other way around.

-Zergplex

 

[LadyJeanne]

Seem like we scared LIVVV away with all our advice.

 

[millieteases]

Let me pile on...

Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it!

Workplace relationships are a completely lousy idea - and I speak from experience.

"Yes your honor, I did have sex with Mr. Smith. Yes, I knew he was married."

 

[Lust Engine]

Re: Zergplex Says

Honestly from the way she wrote it it sounds like she is the one bushing the boundaries of propriety, he might be insensitive to his wife but it sounds like he is the one being seduced, not the other way around.

-Zergplex

It seems that BOTH parties are guilty. And like the old adage goes- it takes two to tango.

I'm only offering her the advice on what she can do to change her direction. That guy probably will remain a clod but that's his choice.

 

[manofsteel52]

After just getting out of a relationship with an 'insensitive idiot,' why would you want to get into a relationship with another insensitive idiot, this time a married one?

And why would you want to BE an insensitive idiot?

Very well said!!

 

[bytor2112]

I am at a point where I really need input with this exciting, yet potentially volatile problem. Here is the story I'm hoping someone can help me with.

I started work a few months ago. I am separated (1 yr) from an insensitive idiot, thank goodness. I'm getting on well with my life and renewed sexual freedom and more confidence than I've ever felt in my life.

The thing is, I really want this man at work is married (1 yr) but flirts quite a bit w/me, explicitly sometimes. It seems that he's not satisfied for a few reasons, he always stays late wasting time, didn't go home on his anniversary right away. We worked late. He flirts like hell. He tells me he doesn't feel good when I'm sad. I love our connection - a very cerebral and passionate attraction. I feel shocks in my body sometimes just talking to him.

He says courageous things, yet I don't know if he'll ever act out on them. I don't know what to do to accelerate this. I flirt with him and let him know and he reacts positively every time. I wore a thong and bent down to pick something up and he couldn't breathe.

Besides a lot of positive feedback, I want to get some action. Should I challenge him like saying "Oh, you're all talk" playfully?

I don't know where to go from here.

Help???

take him into a back room and blow him....let him jizz on your face ...

 

[Capybara]

Re: Re: I Need to Have This Guy @ Work

You know what, it's taken me time in my life, but I'm not going to get on the moral high horse about an affair with a married man -- either as to the man, or the "other woman." There are reasons for what we do, good, bad or necessary, and I can't know what those are, esp. as to the man who hasn't spoken here (or as to his wife.)


BUT -- leaving aside questions of morality, the odds are tremendously high that if you were to get involved in an affair with him, it would be tremendous fun in the very short run, and loads of heartache for at leats two, probably more, people soon enough. I'm with those who think that for your first realationship after successfully freeing yourself from a jerk, you are not in a good position to protect yourself emotionally in an affair with a married man.

(To answer your question -- it sounds like it would be easy enough to bed him if you want. He's just waiting for you to make a move allowing him to get involved. ALmost anything would be enough.)

 

[Lust Engine]

Re: Re: Re: I Need to Have This Guy @ Work

I'm with those who think that for your first realationship after successfully freeing yourself from a jerk, you are not in a good position to protect yourself emotionally in an affair with a married man.

The ol' Out of the Frying Pan Into the Fire theory here. Why leave one bad situation to dive into another??

 

[bytor2112]

Re: Zergplex Says

Honestly from the way she wrote it it sounds like she is the one bushing the boundaries of propriety, he might be insensitive to his wife but it sounds like he is the one being seduced, not the other way around.

-Zergplex

dude your picture is so gay...

 

[Zergplex]

Re: Re: Zergplex Says

dude your picture is so gay...

And you are a troll. ^_^ and as such this is the first and last post of your I am going to reply to, as well as telling all the people I know that your a troll and to add you to their ignore lists (due to this and several things you have said on the GLBT board). Have a nice day.

-Zergplex