I need suggestions........A serious thread.

[Killswitch]

Ok,
Make jokes if you want....whatever.....tell me its really me who needs the help too....thats cool.

But.....

I am a step parent of three teenaged boys as most of you know. My 16 year old step son can not write a fifteen word sentance without spelling ten words wrong, and making 5 gramatical errors.

He gets c's or sometimes d's in english class.

The fact of the matter is.....he can not do even 3rd grade english in my opinion.

I wish he could only write a fifteen word sentance....he wrote a 120 word essay(if you could call it that) and it was one sentance with probably 60 words mispelled and no punctuation marks whatsoever.....I mean it was un intellegible.

How do I help him? How do you teach someone spelling?

The grammar will be easier to deal with even though I am no pro.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Any computer programs that might help?

This pisses me off because they always pass him and let it ride....Now, I am affraid...no, I know he couldn't fill out a job application, or write a love letter to a girl without looking like a total numbskull.

Spell checkers and calculators are ruining the learning process for the youth of today....that combined with the education system giving up on them has me very worried.

What do you think.....and throw me some suggestions if you have any.

Thanks.

David

 

[honeylick]

have him tested for learning disabilities prior to engaging in any kind of program.

obviously he isnt absorbing something for a reason.

 

[Uber Sparky]

Sorry Bubba.... but...

Written language is almost dead.

We represent the last of it.

My boys - 20/14/3 - suck at it too.

AND - the fact that they suck at it does no represent their intellect.

Times change - get with it.

 

[Sillyman]

I suggest hard drilling the kid. That's all I can think of.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ok,
Make jokes if you want....whatever.....tell me its really me who needs the help too....thats cool.

But.....

I am a step parent of three teenaged boys as most of you know. My 16 year old step son can not write a fifteen word sentance without spelling ten words wrong, and making 5 gramatical errors.

He gets c's or sometimes d's in english class.

The fact of the matter is.....he can not do even 3rd grade english in my opinion.

I wish he could only write a fifteen word sentance....he wrote a 120 word essay(if you could call it that) and it was one sentance with probably 60 words mispelled and no punctuation marks whatsoever.....I mean it was un intellegible.

How do I help him? How do you teach someone spelling?

The grammar will be easier to deal with even though I am no pro.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Any computer programs that might help?

This pisses me off because they always pass him and let it ride....Now, I am affraid...no, I know he couldn't fill out a job application, or write a love letter to a girl without looking like a total numbskull.

Spell checkers and calculators are ruining the learning process for the youth of today....that combined with the education system giving up on them has me very worried.

What do you think.....and throw me some suggestions if you have any.

Thanks.

David

Most libraries have a literacy program that is free, save a very small library membership fee.

Tutors are inexpensive too. I am not big on computer learning. I think something is said for the face to face experience of learning. But that is just my opinion.

My son struggled in math. We hired a high school boy to come to the house in the early evenings to tutor him. It was not that expensive and sure did help.

 

[modest mouse]

Its possible that he may have a slight learning disability regarding the way his brain registers letters, etc. If that isnt something you have investigated it might be worth looking into. I have known several people who, once the problem was found, learned to enjoy words again.

You can also try to be as supportive as possible with him. At his age any weakness is difficult and probably not something he wants to have hanging over him.

Aside from that, perhaps some of the teachers on this board, who have been known to be quite a wonderful resource, can offer more assistance.

 

[Mischka]

He needs a tutor. Honeylick is right - get him tested to see if he has a learning disability, and then get him a tutor that will work with his needs. Yes, it will cost money. Have him work and pay for it if it'll be tight for you and his wife. Basic communication skills are imperative for any profession he may enter, and high school will soon be over.

 

[horny_giraffe]

If you can, get him to read. People learn to write by example. Give him Harry Potter, Sports Almanac--whatever.

If he learns to spell by chatting on the internet--ouch.

 

[seXieleXie]

there are lots of professional tutoring services that teach those kinds of skills. i worked for one (it was a great job-- rewarding both in $$ and other ways) and i saw it help a lot of people of all ages. you could look into sylvan learning center or score! or other such programs.

i would say that trying to teach him these skills yourself would be unsucessful for two reasons. 1) you don't have the same kind of materials, like worksheets, answer keys (yes, you make mistakes occasionally too) and detailed explainations and examples of difficult concepts. 2) in my experience, high school aged kids don't learn as well from their parents as they do from outside teachers.

 

[Lancecastor]

Make jokes if you want....

He sounds homo to me.

Have you had him tested?

Lance

 

[Killswitch]

Re: Sorry Bubba.... but...

Written language is almost dead.

We represent the last of it.

My boys - 20/14/3 - suck at it too.

AND - the fact that they suck at it does no represent their intellect.

Times change - get with it.

Im sorry....my kids will be able to write a complete sentance, or I will consider myself a complete failure as a parent, where education is concerned.

His mother has had him tested and they say he can comprehend the work......He just chooses not too, and with the spell checkers and calculators he isnt forced to do the work manually.

 

[Guest]

 

[S.Daedalus]

I will try to make this short.

The education system has given up on all the technical crap. We have computers to do the tech. work now for us, so really, why concentrate on spelling and grammer. Let the child 'not be hindered' by such trivial things. Many children are intimidated by rules, thus we try and take the rules away so they no longer feel inferiour or unskilled. And then we are truely able to see the potential of our kids.

Doesn't that sound fucking WOUNDERFUL!!! Thats what they told me at least. They cought me a hell of alot earlier and just basicly said told my parents " buy him a computer with a spell checker" and that was the end of the discusion.

Now look at me, hell I went to university for 2 years for English and I stll have no gramatical skills and my spelling SUX. But i have GREAT IDEAS!!! Whoooo...fucking whooo.....

Anyways, if i can suggest anything that may help is this. Get the boy to READ. Pick up anything from Harry Potter to Lord Of The Rings. From what I've been told those who read alot seem to have a better understanding and control of the English language. I again go against the grains on this one, i'm a avide reader and yet here I am.

Either way though, if you are actualy willing to take the time and energy to sit and deal with the situation and not get frusterated, your best bet is to attempt to read with(not for) him and pick up grammer books at the local book store. I used one that was fantastic called "Grammer Is Important". It is from the 70's but it works great, IF YOU STICK WITH IT.

Too many parents, I find now a days, just give up. They are concerned, yes, but is there any real follow threw? Are you actually willing to get frusterated over this and yet still persivear? Are you willing to be strick with him? Are you ALOWED to BE?

All questions, as far as I'm concerned, that need to be answered before you do anything. If you can't follow threw...there is no point in trying, it'll just run his self-esteem lower. Its's one thing to live it and not deal with it. It's another thing to have someone start to try and then abandon you...

Ah well..either way, I wish you the best of luck...the education system sux...i know..i'm still there

~Stephen
PS: i won't spell check or grammer check this peice for you. Just so you can see what a second year English major can get away with!

Edited to add question: How is he when he types? Is his spelling better? Is he MISS SPELLING or just confusing the order of letters? Do 'J's turn into 'y's or 'T's ?? Similar characters kinda merge? There may be a Learning Disability. Dislexia? Reading comprehension has nothing to do with Technical aspect. Thats how I got threw my 2 years of Uni. I have a very high reading comprehension. But can't write an essay to save my life. If you want to talk...just PM me..

 

[perks]

Obviously it's not important to him.

People, don't put a priority on grammar, sentence structure or spelling.

Check his homework when he thinks he's finished. Have him rewrite until it's correct, disable the spellcheck. It takes practice and hard work. And maybe a tutor, since I'm not sure you'd catch all the incorrect english.

 

[Killswitch]

If you can, get him to read. People learn to write by example. Give him Harry Potter, Sports Almanac--whatever.

If he learns to spell by chatting on the internet--ouch.

We have bought him easy to read books, and we have all the Harry Potter stuff; the 12 year old and the 17 year old read a lot....he doesnt read. I used to think maybe he couldn't read but he can. All the kids are into dragons and stuff these days, and we cant even get him to read potter or any of the other dozen dragon related books we have here.

I also have to add that I am at a bit of a disadvantage here because as you guys know I harp on things a lot, and I am always harping on the homework and that. I dont always get the support of my wife about this......and my powers are limited being a step parent....but I'll be damned if this kids going to graduate high school with a 3rd grade education.

I dont care if it costs me my marriage.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

All the suggestions above are great except for Lance's of course...

There are websites for teaching yourself grammer and spelling. It might not be cool to go back to basics in front of friends at school. But at home in private with family he might just do it...

Best of luck....

 

[Weird Harold]

Re: Re: Sorry Bubba.... but...

His mother has had him tested and they say he can comprehend the work......He just chooses not too, and with the spell checkers and calculators he isnt forced to do the work manually.

My Father reveled in the intricacies of the English language, and delighted in pointing out the unintended meanings in things like "Slow Children Ahead" signs and "Stop A Head" signs.

I don't know that there is much hope for a sixteen year old, but I learned from a very early age to see the fun in mangling the language and the importance of NOT mangling it when I wanted to be understood.

Perhaps frobidding him to speak at home and make him communicate everything in writing for a week or so would help him to see the importance of written communications.

 

[Uber Sparky]

No kidding they're capable.....

No duh....

Many, many, many are - but they don't.

You gonna whip them?

 

[Monazwx]

Sadly, until he understands the value of grammar and spelling, there won't be much change. If he's already been tested and it's been proven that it's an attitude shift that he needs, try to provide real life examples there english, proper english rather, is crucial to his written and oral communication.

Don't jeopardize the marriage. You two have to work together on this.

I'll post more when I think of something.

 

[Killswitch]

I cant respond to everyone individually but here goes, and I want to thank you all for your help; I really appreciate it, and need it.

S. Daedalus...If he could write ten percent as well as you or I ...I would not be satisfied, but encouraged. Thank you for the honest forthright example and post.

Perky...I downloaded word 6.0 onto the kids computer and ironically the spell check pption does not work...lol, so we are all set there.

Mona and Harold...adly I think you are right. He doesnt get how important it is.

I had an idea of having him write at least a decent paragrapgh every day about his day; then on the weekends his mother and I could sit down and correct the work and explain why the corrections were necessary.

I will try to encourage him to read, because I think this is a great suggestion, and learning tool...thank you to those that thought that, and suggested it.

I will also look into a tutor, because I know he wont learn as much from me, and doesn't want to learn from me necessarily.

But unfortunately I think until he understands how important it is...we will continue to be frustrated.

But we will not give up...I wont at least.

Thank you again to everyone.

David

 

[perks]

I had an idea of having him write at least a decent paragrapgh every day about his day; then on the weekends his mother and I could sit down and correct the work and explain why the corrections were necessary.

Some flaw in your idea here. You're still doing the work for him.

Bloody his paper, give him a grammar book and a dictionary and have him write the rule for what he did incorrectly and fix it until he's finished.

He's a smart boy, you've said so yourself. Make him do the work, not you.

 

[Monazwx]

Also, reading is only half the battle.
People talk/speak the way they write and think, so having him language his language skills is a beginning,
but not the cure all. Keep this in mind.

 

[Killswitch]

Some flaw in your idea here. You're still doing the work for him.

Bloody his paper, give him a grammar book and a dictionary and have him write the rule for what he did incorrectly and fix it until he's finished.

He's a smart boy, you've said so yourself. Make him do the work, not you.

Right...Tonite he had to do these three little esays about the book Animal Farm....and unless there is some hidden meaning in the book that they read in class....I dont know if thats appropriate work for tenth grade english but whatever.

His mother corrected and changed one on the computer...and while she was correcting a hard copy of another one, I took the third one, circled the mispelled words, and the gramatical errors, handed it back to him along with a dictionary.

His mother enables this stuff a lot too, mostly because she is frustrated and tired of seeing the work not handed in, or not done at all.

She has been dealing with this a lot longer than I have and has almost given up.

But yeah....Im all for heres whats wrong...ok....now heres the resources to learn why and fix it....and its not a spell checker.

 

[S.Daedalus]

Sadly, until he understands the value of grammar and spelling, there won't be much change. If he's already been tested and it's been proven that it's an attitude shift that he needs, try to provide real life examples there english, proper english rather, is crucial to his written and oral communication.

Don't jeopardize the marriage. You two have to work together on this.

I'll post more when I think of something.

Very good point. Since I've already used myself as an example, i'll do it one last time. Although I have been a huge reader threw out my WHOLE life, I never really learnt the importance of being able to communicate well, both verbaly and written. I figured it was a problem with the system, cause damn it I could tell you what I knew, was that not good enough? Who the hell needs to write an essay on this crapp, ask me to discuss it with you sure, but an essay fuck it.

So ya, in my early twenties was when I came to the realization that it may help me to learn some things so as i can at least communicate threw my written as well as my speach. I think the internet helped that, oddly enough, because places like these force you to lay down your ideas in a way that others can understand them with out using facial expressions and hand gestures and stubbling for words.

Like I said, i'm not the best example of a man of track, put back on it. But damn it..i do spell check alot and re-read my posts alot before I actualy post them. Except this one of course

Stephen

Have you tried Gordon Korman books? Juevinile, yes, but a great story.

 

[perks]

it's a really tough road. I was a horrible student. My parents made me read out loud to them while they did everything. No TV, my mom read books to me and dad all through my years until I left for college.

You lose a few nights of sleep making him do the work, but it'll pay off in the long run.


You have to just be more committed than your kids, right? That's the only way they learn how to learn, and how to be parents. Doing this will teach him more than spelling and grammar. It will teach him how to be a good father.