I need some wisdom.

[Picture_Fool]

I've got myself in quite a pickle at the moment. I have very strong feelings of love for my wife, but I'm feeling less in love with her as of late. I can't imagine not having a life with her, but half the time I would rather be with a sweeter person. She isn't as loving as she was when we first got married and I feel like we a drifting appart. I really love her more then any thing else though. I hope you can understand my problem and may be help me find a way of fixing this marriage problem.

The Fool is out!

 

[Weird Harold]

I can't imagine not having a life with her, but half the time I would rather be with a sweeter person. She isn't as loving as she was when we first got married and I feel like we a drifting apart.

Get thee to a marriage counselor.

Go alone if you must but going together works best.

Marriage counseling is the only practical way to deal withthe specifics of your situation -- every situation like yours has different roots and a marriage counselor is trained to dig them out.

If you're strapped for cash, check out the local churches for free counseling or check with your county mental health department for low-cost counseling.

 

[Etoile]

As usual, WH's advice is the best! Couples therapy is definitely the way to go here.

 

[NaiveOne]

Yeah,s ounds like she, or you, might have some issues that need to be fixed. I think when someone becomes less loving there is some issue that they are afraid to talk about.

If she won't open up to you, I'd also recommend a marriage counsilor.

Marriage too beautiful a thing to destroy because of pride.

Good luck!

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Before you decide on a therapist, I'd highly recommend you see this site first: http://www.divorcebusting.com/

The therapist whose site this is writes good books, too, and comes from a branch of therapy that focusses on the positive, on what's working. It's terrific stuff, and can be much quicker than the more usual delve-into-your-childhood approach. (It's fine to find out how you got that way, but it may not give you any clues on how to fix it. This approach does.) And I could probably use some brush-up reminders, too!

 

[CherryPop22]

shouldn't you try talking to her first? might save a lot of money

 

[angela146]

How old are you/she and how long have you been married? How "equal" is your relationship?

 

[Blindinthedark]

shouldn't you try talking to her first? might save a lot of money

I second that.
Maybe she just doesn't realize that's she's taking things for granted. Don't accuse her of anything just tell her that just tell her what you're feeling. That you feel like the two of you are drifting. You may be able to sort things out.

Then try counseling if that fails. As always Harold has some great advice.

 

[SensualCealy]

First off, how much has changed since you got married? Kids? A job for her? New home?

If she has more responsiblity with other things besides you then of course her mind will be else where. Even if you have something that sits more on your shoulders, mortage, new job/ promotion, more hours away from home?

I dont know why guys dont see that, and if you see her not being as loving, maybe she feels you arent as loving either. Its a two way street most times.

I agree, talk it out between the two of you first, could save you some money in the long run. It may only take going out on a date together once a week to get in touch with each others feelings.

What ever you do, dont give up on her, she may be feeling the same way you do, lost and not know how to find you!
Cealy

 

[Lust Engine]

Whoever said relationships were easy?

Sure they require work and this is just some of that work that's required to keep it going. It's up to the both of you to see whether it's worthwhile keeping or not. From the sounds of it, you still do- so don't be afraid to roll up your sleeves and put in some additonal effort into it.

Whether it's talking to her directly or seeking out a counselor to help things out, I hope it works out for you.

 

[Four_Inch_Heels]

A couple married over 50 years were asked the secret of their successful marriage, the man answered "we've been in and out of love with each other, but never at the same time".

All excellent advice given already! Sometimes real life pressures get in the way of concentrating fully on your mate. Talk to her! If she's feeling overwhelmed with her load, see what you can do to ease it. You'll benefit in the long run!

Good luck!

 

[CherryPop22]

interesting thing i found:

I always love you, I just don't always like you

 

[autoerotism]

Follow the advice of Weird Harrold.

Keep in mind you reap what you sow. If you are unhappy so is she. You have to give love to recieve it.

Get some help is the best wisdom. Take it or leave it!

 

[CoyoteTales]

Something someone told me once:

"If you aren't growing together, you're growing apart."

Despite what others have said, there are some relationships which cannot be saved. Like relationships where, once the new relationship energy wears off, the couple find they have nothing in common.

I do not believe you have this, though, if you're still a card-carrying 'can't imagine life without her.' It sounds more like that there's just a gear slippage in the relationship right now, and as much as I hate to say it, it's going to take more effort on your part to get back inside her good graces and make things work, rather than less. (Insert multiple 'in my humble opinions' here.)

The coworker who said that quote above said that her husband and her went 'skiing' -- and instead of sitting in the ski lodge all day like he used to, he signed up for a beginner ski lesson and went out with her. "..there's a marked difference between doing stuff with someone and doing stuff around someone without them."

Ask, perhaps, what you can do to help her be less stressed about life. Because you can sense that things aren't a'right with her, and you're her life partner, and want to help.

Good luck.

-CoyoteTales

 

[way22hot]

I've got myself in quite a pickle at the moment. I have very strong feelings of love for my wife, but I'm feeling less in love with her as of late. I can't imagine not having a life with her, but half the time I would rather be with a sweeter person. She isn't as loving as she was when we first got married and I feel like we a drifting appart. I really love her more then any thing else though. I hope you can understand my problem and may be help me find a way of fixing this marriage problem.

The Fool is out!

Hey Fool,
Don't let the stumbuling blocks of life get to you, Face your obstacles now ,or you'll just have to face them in your next relationship . You didn't say how long you have been married
but do you want to go through it agian just to end up in the same place with the same problem ?



PS; 24 years and still struggling (it's worth it)

 

[Picture_Fool]

Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom. The wife and I are talking and our relationship is slowly improving. It will probably take a while before it's fully back, but hey what can you do, but keep working on it.

The Fool is out.

 

[fgarvb1]

Are you stuck in humdrum married life? Get up in the mornings say hi, kiss, bye. Home from work hi, than off to your own little worlds?

or same old shit day after day after day?

Well stop it! Sure many marriages have a dip down after a couple of years, and where do you think the term seven year itch comes from?

Shake things up! When is the last time you took your wife out on a date? Bought her flowers for no reason. Did some things she like you both to do an a regular basis?

When was the last time you went on vacation and /or had fun together? How much do you really know, not assume about your wife?

A good marriage take WORK bud, from both people.

 

[Cazper]

Glad to hear things are looking up. Communication is definately the key. Noone can read minds and the only way to let someone know what you are thinking is to tell them. Hope you continue to work things out.