i need some help from fellow posters...

[donniedarko1986]

... ok, heres the deal. i want to ask a girl out. i know, stupid thing to ask for help with on a board that is full of experienced sexual people (yeah i am a loser ), but i figured this was the best place.

now i'm not good at asking people out, and if you look at my pictures on the ammateur board you can see i'm not exactly an attractive body type. but this girl is something else... i literally end up speechless when i try to ask her out.. i can talk to her aobut anything, but not ask her out.

any body else ever been in this boat?? if so, how did you conquer it?? i'm not going to be seeing her much after this tuesday (we have our final exam), so any help would be MUCH apreciated thanx

 

[SweetErika]

Well, you need to quit thinking you're a loser and unattractive to start...if you don't like yourself, how is she supposed to like you? Now I know you can't turn around all of your thoughts in a couple of days, so you may have to fake it. Tell yourself you're attractive and confident frequently from now on and believe it.

I'm guessing just about everyone's been in this situation, but it definitely gets easier with practice. Maybe you could view it as just that...an opportunity to practice and overcome some fears. Also, look at and counter why you're afraid, and ask, 'What's the worst that can happen?'

Then, when you see her, just step up to the plate and ask her for coffee, a celebratory drink, whatever would make sense for you. Or, you could say, "I really enjoyed getting to know you this year...would you like to exchange information and get together sometime?" Chances are, if she's shown an interest, she'll jump at the opportunity, so think positive!

 

[EJFan]

Well, you need to quit thinking you're a loser and unattractive to start...if you don't like yourself, how is she supposed to like you?

yup.

i know where you're coming from donnie... been there many times myself... and i've kicked myself over and over again for not taking the chance sometimes. try not to keep yourself down.

you'd be surprised... women mostly want a guy who's confident. you could look like yoda with a fungus and still get awesome women by just being self assured. you, like all of us, have something that you're good at... some quality or skill that people get from you. try to focus on that and the things sweeterika said.

most importantly, accept rejection. this chick may or may not reject you (let's hope she doesn't) but just understand that everyone's rejected for all sorts of reasons all the time. it's just healthy to keep in mind that it happens... and when it does, we move on to other things.

 

[Leeleigh]

Read these two threads, the information in them might help you...

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=338544

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=319391
from page 3 on its more about how to get the attention of a lady.

I hope this helps you.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

My long rant on how to get a girl to talk to you, and basically be in a great position to ask her is the first link given above. Believe me, it's good and it works well.


Ravin

 

[dcraz]

... ok, heres the deal. i want to ask a girl out. i know, stupid thing to ask for help with on a board that is full of experienced sexual people (yeah i am a loser ), but i figured this was the best place.

now i'm not good at asking people out, and if you look at my pictures on the ammateur board you can see i'm not exactly an attractive body type. but this girl is something else... i literally end up speechless when i try to ask her out.. i can talk to her aobut anything, but not ask her out.

any body else ever been in this boat?? if so, how did you conquer it?? i'm not going to be seeing her much after this tuesday (we have our final exam), so any help would be MUCH apreciated thanx

Donnie my man, the best words of advice I can give you would be to listen to what these wise women have to say.

SweetErika
Leeleigh
Ravin

They are honest and spot on. NBot judgemental and offer not just sound advice, but easy steps and hints along the way. The important thing is to read what they say, take it to heart. Digest it a bit. then read it again. There ar no easy, quick fixes. But it really is not difficult. You will see.

Keep up the great work ladies!

Men need the help and ladies need the men to take it! Everyone wins!

 

[SweetErika]

now i'm not good at asking people out, and if you look at my pictures on the ammateur board you can see i'm not exactly an attractive body type.

And FYI, I took a look at your thread, and don't see anything unattractive about your body type. For most women, it's either preferable for a man to be a little bigger or doesn't make a bit of difference.

 

[Leeleigh]

Donnie my man, the best words of advice I can give you would be to listen to what these wise women have to say.

SweetErika
Leeleigh
Ravin

They are honest and spot on. NBot judgemental and offer not just sound advice, but easy steps and hints along the way. The important thing is to read what they say, take it to heart. Digest it a bit. then read it again. There ar no easy, quick fixes. But it really is not difficult. You will see.

Keep up the great work ladies!

Men need the help and ladies need the men to take it! Everyone wins!

Thank you DC...

Donnie, pay attention to what DC has said in one of the threads too. He offers a mans perspective, and is pretty much right on with what he says.

I too have looked at the pictures in your thread and will tell you that there is nothing wrong with your body. Honey, take what god gave you and make the most of it. Like yourself for who and what you are.. if you like yourself, others will like you too.

As for this specific young lady.. she is already talking to you, right.. Must mean that she likes you. The next time you encounter her, and you are chatting her up, casually ask her if she would like going for a bite to eat, some tea, coffee or to the pub for a beer. Think of it as shifting the local of the conversation to a more comfortable atmosphere, not a date. If she agrees, great.. if she says no, don't take it as rejection... just say ok, and calmly keep on chatting. But the next time you encounter her and start chatting, do it again, and keep asking each time you see her. Eventually she will either agree, or you will finally feel comfortable enough to simply ask her if she would be interested in going out with you for dinner, dancing, a movie... whatever you fancy doing.

 

[sexy98115]

help for you.

You are right. You won't get a girl if you think of yourself as a loser. Dress confidently and act confidently and i assure you you'll get a girl.

... ok, heres the deal. i want to ask a girl out. i know, stupid thing to ask for help with on a board that is full of experienced sexual people (yeah i am a loser ), but i figured this was the best place.

now i'm not good at asking people out, and if you look at my pictures on the ammateur board you can see i'm not exactly an attractive body type. but this girl is something else... i literally end up speechless when i try to ask her out.. i can talk to her aobut anything, but not ask her out.

any body else ever been in this boat?? if so, how did you conquer it?? i'm not going to be seeing her much after this tuesday (we have our final exam), so any help would be MUCH apreciated thanx

 

[Undomiel]

I asked my boyfriend out. He now says he thought I'd never like him back. But if I hadn't said anything, we'd both be left wondering. I don't normally ask guys out. Well I've hinted before and it was disastrous. But I knew there was something different about this guy.

So I just asked him if he wanted to do something at the weekend, like go to the cinema and he said yes. Later I invited him back to my house and I said to myself I wasn't letting him leave until I'd told him I liked him. It took a good few hours to work up the courage. He didn't leave till 6am, hehe. But it all worked out good in the end. Just go for it!

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Donnie my man, the best words of advice I can give you would be to listen to what these wise women have to say.

SweetErika
Leeleigh
Ravin

They are honest and spot on. NBot judgemental and offer not just sound advice, but easy steps and hints along the way. The important thing is to read what they say, take it to heart. Digest it a bit. then read it again. There ar no easy, quick fixes. But it really is not difficult. You will see.

Keep up the great work ladies!

Men need the help and ladies need the men to take it! Everyone wins!

HOLD ON!!

DUDE, I'M A GUY!!!

*looks down, and see's a penis*

YES I'M A GUY!!


haha no harm done. Believe me it's a common mistake people see with my name. And thank you for the notice.

I am going to leave some step by step things he can do as well. Adjust it to the situation is key. But sorry, right now, can't happen. It's poker night! But believe me, I'm on this one. donniedarko1986 has made me interested in posting this thing I have. So, I will get to it later tonight when I get home.

Ravin "the guy" and the Poet

 

[Little Bird]

Happend to me some times, too...

Will probably be happening much more often again since I changed my av and it does not help much, that I seem to be by far not the typical guy...

 

[dcraz]

HOLD ON!!

DUDE, I'M A GUY!!!

*looks down, and see's a penis*

YES I'M A GUY!!


haha no harm done. Believe me it's a common mistake people see with my name. And thank you for the notice.

I am going to leave some step by step things he can do as well. Adjust it to the situation is key. But sorry, right now, can't happen. It's poker night! But believe me, I'm on this one. donniedarko1986 has made me interested in posting this thing I have. So, I will get to it later tonight when I get home.

Ravin "the guy" and the Poet

Woah! Sorry about that. No offense intended.

Still good advice...

 

[MissPersephone]

If you don't step out to bat, you'll never strike out. But then you'll never hit a home run either. Just relax, maybe say something funny to break the ice, and when it is comfortable, ask her out.

 

[MissPersephone]

I forgot to add, watch "What not to wear" on TLC, and follow some of their tips. Dress stylish for your body type and pay attention to the hair and skin, use a moisturizer every day.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Alrighty, I am taking much special attention to this, because I am in the same boat. I can talk to this girl about anything and we do, yet popping the question just doesn't work. So I am here to help you buddy, and please note, when I write this, I do have a good sense of humor to go along with it. No need being all serious with something that should be fun.


Ok, so you want to ask her out. Yeah, umm no! Don't kill me now, because believe me, when I found out this, I was the same. Asking someone out, actually shows a weakness. Your admitting to someone you like them, which some will say is good, I will say is not. It's a form of control. Some people pray on that, others, well you get the "I got played" thing. I am NOT a fan of the "asking out" because to me, it sounds to kiddish, it my books. Now it depends what you want, and how you say it, and also where you are in the friendship. Asking someone out for a casual date is fine. "hey would you like to get some coffee (or in my case hot cocoa)" Never EVER use the word "date", because it signifies relationship. Not something you want.

Now, maybe you are in my case. Me and this lady have grown very close. Simply say "Would you like to go out with me" seems a little weak. I am in the stage where I ask "Is there something between us?" because that's what it is. You can tell this part by physical contact, emotional connection and so on. Easily judged by others, not so much by yourself.

So we have got rid of the "asking her out" because really, you don't want to say that. (As much as you think you do) So let's work on your physical looks. I haven't seen your pictures, nor do I intend to look at them. Why? Well simply, it doesn't matter. I'm about a 7, sometimes an 8. That's the normal average I get. See, what the means is, I need to use some other things to push me above 10. Do you how much confidence I have? Believe me, if you can pull out the confidence, it doesn't matter what you look like.

Ok, so let's get to the real shit. She is gone by tuesday. VERY GOOD! You know why? Because what's stopping you from saying "Hey, it's been great talking to you, hope we can continue during the summer. Do you got MSN, or something" and most likely, she will give it to you if she does. If your bold ask for phone number. Once you got one of those, you have a better chance at working something after. I am a huge anti-rush person in the world of dating. I have been pushing my attitude towards my girl for about 3 weeks now, since I met her, and it's showing.

Final thing is talking. You can already talk to her about anything, well that is great. All my friends are like this, because that's how I make friends. I have had many serious conversations with the lady in question for me, and it's been great. You learn a lot by talks, and shows you actually have a brain. It all works out.

Really dude, if you got till Tuesday, all I can say is get some info to keep in touch. Anything else, and there is really no way to help. Good luck on this as well.

Ravin

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I forgot to add, watch "What not to wear" on TLC, and follow some of their tips. Dress stylish for your body type and pay attention to the hair and skin, use a moisturizer every day.

"What not to wear" is actually a good show. I learned that you need to fit clothing more close to you. I am not the biggest guy, at 6ft 132lbs, but it my clothing, it helps outline myself, and display myself in the best possible light.

Watch the show, it's a great learning tip.

Ravin

 

[donniedarko1986]

um, just incase anyone wanted to know, basically.... she said no. well she said i repulsed her. and that she thought i was a loser. yay me! lol

 

[SweetErika]

um, just incase anyone wanted to know, basically.... she said no. well she said i repulsed her. and that she thought i was a loser. yay me! lol

No, Donnie. She's the loser. No respectable person is that cruel, and even if she'd accepted your offer, I'd bet you'd find out in time that she's a very ugly person inside. You don't want someone who doesn't treat people with compassion and respect.

 

[donniedarko1986]

yeah, you're right. just, ya know, happens EVERY frickin' time i like someone. they tell me, in the cruelest way they can think to go stick it. lol, guess i'm just doomed to be alone.

 

[covariant]

yeah, you're right. just, ya know, happens EVERY frickin' time i like someone. they tell me, in the cruelest way they can think to go stick it. lol, guess i'm just doomed to be alone.

Try not to dwell on it, and get back out there and try again. Even though it may not seem like it now, there will be someone for you. Don't give up!

 

[3113]

yeah, you're right. just, ya know, happens EVERY frickin' time i like someone. they tell me, in the cruelest way they can think to go stick it. lol, guess i'm just doomed to be alone.

I hope this assumption isn't too forward or wrong--if you're more cosmopolitan than I'm presuming, I do beg your pardon. However, from what you're saying, and the fact that your location reads Portsmouth, England...can I assume this is your home and has been so for a while? That you're native to England? If so, read on:

Okay: This is going to sound really strange, but have you ever thought of vacationing in the United States--and/or seeking out an American girlfriend on the internet? There's a joke in the movie Love Actually that, funny and humorous as it's meant to be has a ring of truth to it.

One of the characters, a young, geeky British guy, keeps getting rejected by British women and complains to his friend that they these women see him as just another wanker. He needs, he decides to go to America, because in the U.S., he'll be seen as a cute guy with a delightful accent. "In America," he asserts, "I'm Prince William without the weird family!"

His friend doesn't believe him, but he flys to Wisconsin, and his fantasy comes true. Now granted, this is a movie, a fiction and a comedy at that. But there is some truth in it. There are still American girls who can't resist an English accent and that alone will lure them to a guy (I'm not joking. Scouts honor, your accent alones give you an edge in the U.S.).

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is that this problem you're having with cruel girls might be due to the small size of the fishbowl in which you're swimming. Put yourself in a larger aquarium, preferably one with fish that find you exotic, and you'll not only have a greater range of types from which to pick, but who and what you are will have a chance to shine.

If the U.S. is a little too hard to reach, think about boarding a train and heading to the big city or Europe. Seek out strange new worlds and new civilizations. The universe is wide--and there are not only plenty of fish in the sea, but starfish and dolphins and penguins and seals. No reason to stay in a town of sharks who keep taking bite out of you whenever you approach.

 

[SweetErika]

yeah, you're right. just, ya know, happens EVERY frickin' time i like someone. they tell me, in the cruelest way they can think to go stick it. lol, guess i'm just doomed to be alone.

Yes, you're absolutely right; if you believe you're "doomed to be alone," you WILL be! Have you considered the possibility that the women this has happened with have been similar in one or more ways? For example, they might say things that are a little shallow, mean, talk behind others' backs, be especially interested in superficial things, etc. The reason I'm asking is the right type of woman won't be cruel; she may say, "you're like a brother to me," or, "I just want to be friends," but she's NOT going to be mean about it.

So, it's completely you're choice, buddy. You can either condemn yourself to a life of lonliness, or you can think positive, be confident, look for nice women, and have success.

 

[donniedarko1986]

haha, yeah, i should move to usa lol

and, well i don't know, how to you give yourself confidence when you're exact ability with women has so far yeilded a kick in the balls, and absolutely nothing else? lol. i could try the whole fake confidence thing, but... hmm. oh well.

doesn't help that the three girls i have asked out in recent years have responded with:

1) telling me not to ask them out, walking off laughing (that one was fun )
2) sleeping with my best friend and telling me every detail (that one not so much )
3) well, you know the third one. lol.

yeah, i know, i'm whining. i'll stop. and i'll try the fake confidence thing like you guys have suggested. and seriously, thanks for the suggestions. i'll try them.. except the moving one, as i'm at university and unable to afford things such as food. lol.