i need some guidence

[codysan]

I am a inexpericed Dom and i need to someone to guide me in how to be a great Dom for my Sub. Can any one help?

 

[Sheaf_Beast]

Hands on experience

I am a inexpericed Dom and i need to someone to guide me in how to be a great Dom for my Sub. Can any one help?

First get very good with the items you want to use, rope bondage, floggers,wax/fire knife play, single tail short whips/bull whips, interorgation.

Go to your local club meet singles.

Practice Practice Practice

 

[graceanne]

COMMUNICATE!

Thought I'd get that in there before Sir W gets here.

 

[Netzach]

what she said. Also whether you are "good" or not totally depends on what you're trying to do. There's no generic "good Dom"

 

[Sir Quam]

what she said. Also whether you are "good" or not totally depends on what you're trying to do. There's no generic "good Dom"

I happen to disagree.




Ask your sub to write you a list of ten ways she'd like to be dominated, then practice, practice, practice!

 

[AAkasha]

I happen to disagree.




Ask your sub to write you a list of ten ways she'd like to be dominated, then practice, practice, practice!

How very "dominant" -- get a LIST from the sub of what the sub wants done to them? Is this a joke?

Last I heard, dominance is getting the submissive to bend to the will of the dominant's desires. The only time "lists" like you mention are appropriate are for male submissives going to pay a professional dominatrix.

Akasha

 

[Netzach]

How very "dominant" -- get a LIST from the sub of what the sub wants done to them? Is this a joke?
Akasha

Pretty much.

I find the giant checklists useful though in a getting-to-know-you way, sometimes. It helps to know likes and dislikes as a starting point, but it's important not to be ruled by them.

 

[Sheaf_Beast]

How very "dominant" -- get a LIST from the sub of what the sub wants done to them? Is this a joke?

Last I heard, dominance is getting the submissive to bend to the will of the dominant's desires. The only time "lists" like you mention are appropriate are for male submissives going to pay a professional dominatrix.

Akasha

Or in real life. The list is a pretty good idea.

I am not going to use a bullwhip on someone that likes floggers. If I dont do what a partner wants done to them I may not get asked to play with them again.

 

[Tollo]

I'll suggest a middle ground. Yes, you will need to know your sub well to be a good Dom to him/her. Maybe you feel like you already know this person well, but regardless, having your sub fill out a check list of limits will certainly be helpful to you in the beginning.

On the flip side, you have got to know what it is that you want. Spend a good amount of time thinking about yourself. Where does your desire to dominate come from? How does your dominance express itself in your life? Ultimately, what do you want to get out of being dominant over another person? Read around in the library here, it is a goldmine of information and inspiration, it can really help you get in touch with your own true needs and wants.

Last but not least, to be a great Dom you must have the respect of your sub. Be worthy. Before you can expect great things from a sub, you will have to show greatness in yourself. To do otherwise is to be corrupt and a fraud and to be a "dominant" of the worst kind.

Tollo

 

[codysan]

i have there checklist

 

[Kajira Callista]

http://www.iespell.com/download.php

 

[Aeroil]

How very "dominant" -- get a LIST from the sub of what the sub wants done to them? Is this a joke?

Last I heard, dominance is getting the submissive to bend to the will of the dominant's desires. The only time "lists" like you mention are appropriate are for male submissives going to pay a professional dominatrix.

Akasha

hehehe, yes, Akasha, Sir Quam is a joke, he told me I was excellent Dom material

 

[shy slave]

hehehe, yes, Akasha, Sir Quam is a joke, he told me I was excellent Dom material

Your not a Dom
Some of your cookie stealing behaviour is so assertive and demanding you could Dom cookies.

 

[CottonO]

I'll suggest a middle ground. Yes, you will need to know your sub well to be a good Dom to him/her. Maybe you feel like you already know this person well, but regardless, having your sub fill out a check list of limits will certainly be helpful to you in the beginning.

On the flip side, you have got to know what it is that you want. Spend a good amount of time thinking about yourself. Where does your desire to dominate come from? How does your dominance express itself in your life? Ultimately, what do you want to get out of being dominant over another person? Read around in the library here, it is a goldmine of information and inspiration, it can really help you get in touch with your own true needs and wants.

Last but not least, to be a great Dom you must have the respect of your sub. Be worthy. Before you can expect great things from a sub, you will have to show greatness in yourself. To do otherwise is to be corrupt and a fraud and to be a "dominant" of the worst kind.

Tollo

So perfectly said, Tollo. Respect and worthiness, from these spring the great beauty of what it is that we do. Yes.

CottonO