hello all, Well today it happened me and my g/f of a year and a half broke up. It all happened so fast i dont know what went wrong? She said she need more space and i gave it to her and everything. Then yesterday we were talking and i thought maybe there was another guy or something and it isnt that and i know her to know that its not. I told her i want to know what was going on cause the last couple of weeks have been weird and she said she has been really confused. then we kept talking and she started to cry and she was holding on to me so tight saying she didnt want to lose me and that she is sry for treating me like this. Now i really love her and she says that she loves me. But just wants to be friends with me for now? I dont know if i can be friends with her cause i am really in love with her and if i am with her and i cant kiss her or touch her then? Another problem is that me and her have been friends for 8years before we started going out so now not only did i lose my g/f but i lost my best g/f as well. Now she still wants to take are dog to the park together and all that stuff but doesnt want to be in a relationship. I always treated her like a queen because the b/f she had before abused her and i fought to keep her from him i was trying to fight me everyday for a year and i just would laugh at him. I thought she deserved way better then that i and i gave it to her. She also tell me that there isnt anybody better out there for her but she need space right now and that she is confused and i dont understand. So is there any chance that we well end up back together? What should i do ? Should i still hang with her alot or not ? Ladies plz help!!!
I need help!?!? ladies plz help
- Thread starter SIC
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lovechild27
EricsCocksucker
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You need to make the decision for yourself.
You seem aware that being friends with her would be incredibly hard. I personally think you should take some time apart if this is the way things are to be. You need time to grieve and heal and that wont happen with her hanging around.
You seem aware that being friends with her would be incredibly hard. I personally think you should take some time apart if this is the way things are to be. You need time to grieve and heal and that wont happen with her hanging around.
Phoenix Stone
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Sleepy, so this won't be as nicely written as I'd like but since you've checked back and it looks like you're either staying up or are in a different time zone, I wanted to give you Some response, so --
Did she tell you much more other than that she is really confused? Did she make it clear, for instance, that she has realized that she loves you but only as a friend and not a bf? In that case, don't hold out hope if that she wants to be just friends 'for now' that it's going to change back again later.
It wasn't clear from your post that she has told you much, other than that she is breaking up with you. I think you need to talk again, and get her to talk. Tell her you want to talk with her as her friend and not her boyfriend? Can she tell you virtually anything, even if, for instance, she made a mistake and got together with the jerky ex or something? In other words, something she'd feel really ashamed to tell you.
But for tonight, take a hot bath or whatever you do to get yourself tired and get some sleep. Hugs and good wishes that it will turn out to be something that can be gotten past. But get some sleep and Don't stay up all night with your thoughts going in useless circles. You're not going to figure it out tonight.
Did she tell you much more other than that she is really confused? Did she make it clear, for instance, that she has realized that she loves you but only as a friend and not a bf? In that case, don't hold out hope if that she wants to be just friends 'for now' that it's going to change back again later.
It wasn't clear from your post that she has told you much, other than that she is breaking up with you. I think you need to talk again, and get her to talk. Tell her you want to talk with her as her friend and not her boyfriend? Can she tell you virtually anything, even if, for instance, she made a mistake and got together with the jerky ex or something? In other words, something she'd feel really ashamed to tell you.
But for tonight, take a hot bath or whatever you do to get yourself tired and get some sleep. Hugs and good wishes that it will turn out to be something that can be gotten past. But get some sleep and Don't stay up all night with your thoughts going in useless circles. You're not going to figure it out tonight.
SensualCealy
I do not know what the ..
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I think this is where the old adage (sp) comes into play-
If you love something- set it free,
If it loves you it will come back.
Let her know you love her and are willing to stick around until she gets things sorted out in her head. What ever you do, dont call her every hour on the hour to ask her how she is, she needs space, give it to her.
Maybe once a week call and just tell her you are thinking of her and you want to do coffee or something. It will be the hardest thing you can do but it will be worth it if she knows she has you no matter what.
Hope Im not off my rocker here but those are my thoughts.
Best of luck,
Cealy
If you love something- set it free,
If it loves you it will come back.
Let her know you love her and are willing to stick around until she gets things sorted out in her head. What ever you do, dont call her every hour on the hour to ask her how she is, she needs space, give it to her.
Maybe once a week call and just tell her you are thinking of her and you want to do coffee or something. It will be the hardest thing you can do but it will be worth it if she knows she has you no matter what.
Hope Im not off my rocker here but those are my thoughts.
Best of luck,
Cealy
It sounds like neither one of you are sure what you want. The best thing you can do is not try to figure each other out. You cannot get into her head right now, no matter how much you try, and she cannot get into yours. Period. It just won't happen.
So take the time to get into your OWN head and heart. Disappear for a few days. Tell her you are taking off for some time by yourself and then...go. Just go. Put both physical and emotional distance between the two of you. And stay gone, at least on an emotional level, until you know what YOU want.
Give her time to figure it out, too. When you know whether or not you can handle a friendship, when you know if you want to fight for her affections, when you know WHAT you want, period...then sit down and calmly tell her. Ask her what SHE wants. If she can't tell you, then she still needs time to figure it out.
Once she does know what she wants, then the two of you can see what the status of your relationship is.
I guess I'm saying...you have to know yourself before you can ever be any good to anyone else. That goes for her, too. You have to spend that time in your OWN skin.
So stop going around in those circles. Stop questioning what she wants. Stop questioning how to get back into her good graces.
Start questioning what is best for YOU. Not her. Just you.
S.
So take the time to get into your OWN head and heart. Disappear for a few days. Tell her you are taking off for some time by yourself and then...go. Just go. Put both physical and emotional distance between the two of you. And stay gone, at least on an emotional level, until you know what YOU want.
Give her time to figure it out, too. When you know whether or not you can handle a friendship, when you know if you want to fight for her affections, when you know WHAT you want, period...then sit down and calmly tell her. Ask her what SHE wants. If she can't tell you, then she still needs time to figure it out.
Once she does know what she wants, then the two of you can see what the status of your relationship is.
I guess I'm saying...you have to know yourself before you can ever be any good to anyone else. That goes for her, too. You have to spend that time in your OWN skin.
So stop going around in those circles. Stop questioning what she wants. Stop questioning how to get back into her good graces.
Start questioning what is best for YOU. Not her. Just you.
S.
petite one
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breakup of longtime friend- gf
Hi, friend. I took the time to look up your age on your profile. Not that you are too young to feel but to see where you are in your journey. You are young - compared to this old chick. At both of your ages, you are still growing as people, finding out who you are and what you want out of life. This does cause confusion and pain. Give her the space to grow and continue to be her friend. But - go on with your life. Figure out what your goals are, set your map and follow it. All the while, stay friends. You may find that she likes your path and will eventually join you OR you may find another girl who is already on your path. Don't let her go as a friend unless she tells you to, because we all need good friends in life. Be glad that she is telling you she needs time. She is probably trying to be open and honest with you and save you pain. Good luck.
Hi, friend. I took the time to look up your age on your profile. Not that you are too young to feel but to see where you are in your journey. You are young - compared to this old chick. At both of your ages, you are still growing as people, finding out who you are and what you want out of life. This does cause confusion and pain. Give her the space to grow and continue to be her friend. But - go on with your life. Figure out what your goals are, set your map and follow it. All the while, stay friends. You may find that she likes your path and will eventually join you OR you may find another girl who is already on your path. Don't let her go as a friend unless she tells you to, because we all need good friends in life. Be glad that she is telling you she needs time. She is probably trying to be open and honest with you and save you pain. Good luck.
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