I need help killing someone

[FallingToFly]

Quick question:

I've mentioned over in AH the issue I'm having with killing off a pretty important secondary character in "Falling." I really, really can't seem to do it.

To give you some background, the character, Shaun, is the female MC's cousin and best friend. He's gay, gorgeous, an absolute doll, and he's dying of AIDS, which pisses both him and Rachel right off, and makes the male MC a little nervous.

Throughout the story, it's been hinted that Shaun is getting worse, and plausibly explained why and how. This is no: Oh, I just tested positive, BAM! I'm dying! scenario. Shaun is now getting very weak (but damn if he isn't game to try and keep up) very depressed, and more and more dependant on medications to manage the symptoms of his disease and marijuana to deal with the side effects of the drugs.

Basically, this character is sitting in the back of my head, all day, every day, begging me to kill him. He's sick, he's tired, and dammit, it is against his stubborn pride and vanity to melt down to nothing and get un-gorgeous (his words, not mine). The story -can not- get past a certain point until he dies, and we both know that, so it isn't just him being selfish here. I've been trying, honestly.. I physically can't do it alone. I get violently ill every time I try.

So far, the suggestions from helpful non-writer friends are:

-CMV (a flulike virus that is 90% fatal in people with low immune systems)
- a car accident (can't do it)
- suicide (problem is, he and Rachel are both Catholic, lapsed as they may be. Although someone recommended having him take a good solid OD, go in, confess his sins and ask for absolution for taking a life, and then passing away at the altar rail during his prayers. )
- heart attack
- falling asleep and not waking up, and leaving the cause unspecified.

Any suggestions/ guidance for how to kill a character I don't want to let go of?

 

[kbate]

-CMV (a flulike virus that is 90% fatal in people with low immune systems)
- a car accident (can't do it)
- suicide (problem is, he and Rachel are both Catholic, lapsed as they may be. Although someone recommended having him take a good solid OD, go in, confess his sins and ask for absolution for taking a life, and then passing away at the altar rail during his prayers. )
- heart attack
- falling asleep and not waking up, and leaving the cause unspecified.

Any suggestions/ guidance for how to kill a character I don't want to let go of?

Don't kill him, have him go "walkabout". Leave a note - I've popped out for a few days...

And just close the scene with a fade to black, a tear stained cheek and a "goodbye, be well, godspeed.."

 

[RogueLurker]

Don't kill him, have him go "walkabout". Leave a note - I've popped out for a few days...

And just close the scene with a fade to black, a tear stained cheek and a "goodbye, be well, godspeed.."

terribly melodramatic ... and it allows you to bring him back if the plot starts to flag ... like a Soap Opera

 

[CopyCarver]

I would tend to agree, except for your statement "the story -can not- get past a certain point until he dies." It sounds as if his death itself is a critical plot/mood element, rather than that you merely need to get him out of the way.

If so, the goes-to-sleep-and-doesn't wake up scenario would probably be the least painful--both for you and your readers--unless, of course, you want/need to put the readers through some angst for whatever reason.

 

[RogueLurker]

Quick question:

I've mentioned over in AH the issue I'm having with killing off a pretty important secondary character in "Falling." I really, really can't seem to do it.

To give you some background, the character, Shaun, is the female MC's cousin and best friend. He's gay, gorgeous, an absolute doll, and he's dying of AIDS, which pisses both him and Rachel right off, and makes the male MC a little nervous.

Throughout the story, it's been hinted that Shaun is getting worse, and plausibly explained why and how. This is no: Oh, I just tested positive, BAM! I'm dying! scenario. Shaun is now getting very weak (but damn if he isn't game to try and keep up) very depressed, and more and more dependant on medications to manage the symptoms of his disease and marijuana to deal with the side effects of the drugs.

Basically, this character is sitting in the back of my head, all day, every day, begging me to kill him. He's sick, he's tired, and dammit, it is against his stubborn pride and vanity to melt down to nothing and get un-gorgeous (his words, not mine). The story -can not- get past a certain point until he dies, and we both know that, so it isn't just him being selfish here. I've been trying, honestly.. I physically can't do it alone. I get violently ill every time I try.

So far, the suggestions from helpful non-writer friends are:

-CMV (a flulike virus that is 90% fatal in people with low immune systems)
- a car accident (can't do it)
- suicide (problem is, he and Rachel are both Catholic, lapsed as they may be. Although someone recommended having him take a good solid OD, go in, confess his sins and ask for absolution for taking a life, and then passing away at the altar rail during his prayers. )
- heart attack
- falling asleep and not waking up, and leaving the cause unspecified.

Any suggestions/ guidance for how to kill a character I don't want to let go of?

If you want to go for pathos and really mess up your main characters, you could go the assisted suicide route. This would complicate your plot immensely as you would need to probably devote a good portion of writing to build up to the decision and deal with the after-affects on Rachel. No less of a concern, you would likely get alot of flames for it ... it can be a rather touchy subject.

As for the character comitting suicide ... I wouldn't let the Catholicsm bother you too much. For me, a lapsed Catholic, I don't think that God loves me any less for being gay (since I didn't have much choice in the matter) and I won't believe that he/she/it would hold it against me for ending my life. Perhaps that's why I'm lapsed. I do believe that his dying, hunched over the altar rail might be going a bit too far.

Going the full blown medical route (CMV) will mean lengthy explanations and some will nit pick your details or argue your points. It will also complicate your plot more as you have to build his diagnosis in, build up to his death scene and then kill him off. It sounds like your main characters are in a holding pattern right now, so this will just extend that holding pattern. If you go this route, be cautious that it doesn't turn into a Discovery Channel special ... researched information is essential, but it should be worked in naturally rather than just dumped in.

I would recommend having your character die "off camera" in his sleep ... through OD or complications. This would give you a chance to further develop your characters and either bring them together or tear them apart by the shock, regrets and grief caused by his death.

Or there's alway a werewolf attack ...

 

[kbate]

terribly melodramatic ... and it allows you to bring him back if the plot starts to flag ... like a Soap Opera

Harumph, It was better than my other suggestions:

A Hamletonian death scene - forsooth, I am slain, struck down, my failing body soon expireth, pray for me, pray for me...

Then he flops over on the floor, gasps once, a tear (I like tear stained cheeks) rolls down, and the scene ends with the single tear seeping into a crack in the wooden floor.

 

[CopyCarver]

Harumph, It was better than my other suggestions:

A Hamletonian death scene - forsooth, I am slain, struck down, my failing body soon expireth, pray for me, pray for me...

Then he flops over on the floor, gasps once, a tear (I like tear stained cheeks) rolls down, and the scene ends with the single tear seeping into a crack in the wooden floor.

Nobody likes the idea of collapsing on the steps of the Senate from acute gastroenteritis and gasping, "I et two calimari..."

 

[RogueLurker]

Harumph, It was better than my other suggestions:

A Hamletonian death scene - forsooth, I am slain, struck down, my failing body soon expireth, pray for me, pray for me...

Then he flops over on the floor, gasps once, a tear (I like tear stained cheeks) rolls down, and the scene ends with the single tear seeping into a crack in the wooden floor.

Actually, I kind of like that one.
Never underestimate the impact of a tear stained cheek ...

But I'm secretly hoping FtF goes with the werewolf .... gotta keep the readers on their toes.

 

[kbate]

Actually, I kind of like that one.
Never underestimate the impact of a tear stained cheek ...

But I'm secretly hoping FtF goes with the werewolf .... gotta keep the readers on their toes.

I would happily grant her one use of my own copyrighted intellectual property - lesbian chainsaw massacres.

 

[RogueLurker]

I would happily grant her one use of my own copyrighted intellectual property - lesbian chainsaw massacres.

Damn, you've already copyrighted that?

 

[kbate]

Damn, you've already copyrighted that?

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=14150642&postcount=42

 

[FallingToFly]

HA!! Okay, now y'all have me laughing about this, much better than migraines, I must say.

*grins* Thank god for plot bunnies. One of the lovely ladies running a story alongside mine has conveniently had her female lead beat shaun over the head with the bit about "You're going to live because I say you're going to live, god damn you!" That should give me another five to ten chapters (Kat, her character, is a damned stubborn woman) to figure out what to do.

But, out of curiousity, how would I work a werewolf attack or a lesbian chainsaw massacre into a fanfic romance novel? Isn't having Bam MArgera as one of the supporting cast strange enough?

 

[RogueLurker]

https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=14150642&postcount=42

Heck, I'd read it. Over and over again ... hunched over in the back of my closet, rocking back and forth and muttering under my breath.

 

[RogueLurker]

But, out of curiousity, how would I work a werewolf attack or a lesbian chainsaw massacre into a fanfic romance novel? Isn't having Bam MArgera as one of the supporting cast strange enough?

You are the writer. You figure it out. You asked for ideas, not solutions.

I'm really sorry to have to ask, but who is Bam Margera? It makes me think of Barney Rubble's son.

 

[john-the-author]

Dying

I had a couple friends with AIDS die of pneumocystis pneumonia. One of them was about 5 days in ICU on oxygen and so on getting worse and worse. He'd been on 100% oxygen for 3 days before his parents decided it was Time and they turned off the machines and he didn't breathe on his own. 100% oxygen is good for short doses, but apparently it burns out the lungs if you're on it for too long. He wasn't able to breathe on his own without it; the pneumonia had messed things up to the point that he was a goner. It's not a good way to go, but there are worse. He was not entirely cognizant of what was going on for the last few days.

Would this work for Shaun as a character, too?

 

[snooper]

I can help if you want. I charge $5,000 for each hit, half now, half afterwards.

 

[kbate]

But, out of curiousity, how would I work a werewolf attack or a lesbian chainsaw massacre into a fanfic romance novel?

Any writer who cannot fit a lesbian chainsaw massacre into their story seamlessly, well, let me just say... I use the term writer loosely. :emoticon:

 

[FallingToFly]

Any writer who cannot fit a lesbian chainsaw massacre into their story seamlessly, well, let me just say... I use the term writer loosely. :emoticon:

^.^ I have yet to achieve that level of greatness, oh Master of Smut-Fu. Tell me how to reach the temple, where I may train and meditate on ways to increase the chi of my pimp hand....

 

[RogueLurker]

Any writer who cannot fit a lesbian chainsaw massacre into their story seamlessly, well, let me just say... I use the term writer loosely. :emoticon:

I always thought the mark of a true writer was to to seamlessly fit a werewolf attack into their story .... but perhaps the true mark of a good writer is that they know when to use these rather daring plot devices and when they should go with the old tried and true "died in their sleep" plotline. Knowing your limitations is half the battle ...

 

[kbate]

^.^ I have yet to achieve that level of greatness, oh Master of Smut-Fu. Tell me how to reach the temple, where I may train and meditate on ways to increase the chi of my pimp hand....

Here, we'll take a well known passage for instructional purposes:

More than I have said, loving countrymen,
The leisure and enforcement of the time
Forbids to dwell upon. Yet remember this:
God and our good lesbians fight upon our side;
The prayers of holy saints and wronged souls,
Like high-reared bulwarks, stand before our faces.
Richard except, those whom we fight against
Had rather have us chainsaw them they follow.
For what is he they follow? Truly, gentlemen,
A bloody tyrant and a massacre;
One raised in blood and one in blood established;
One that made means to come by what he hath,
And slaughtered those that were the means to help him;
A base foul stone, made precious by the foil
Of England's chair, where he is falsely set;
One that hath ever been God's enemy.
Then if you fight against God's enemy,
God will in justice ward you as his soldiers;
If you do sweat to put a tyrant down,
You sleep in peace the tyrant being slain;
If you do fight against your country's foes,
Thou fight aside our lesbian brigade,
Who massacre our foes,
With roaring chainsaws sharp,
And of whirling blade.
Your country's fat shall pay your pains the hire;
If you do fight in safeguard of your wives,
Your wives shall welcome home the conquerors;
If you do free your children from the sword,
Your children's children quits it in your age:
Then in the name of God and all these rights,
Advance your standards, draw your willing swords.
For me, the ransom of my bold attempt
Shall be to feed this cold corpse,
to werewolves on the earth's cold face;
But if I thrive, the gain of my attempt
The least of you shall share his part thereof.
Sound drums and trumpets boldly and cheerfully:
God and Saint George! Richmond and victory!

with apologies to the bard.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

-CMV (a flulike virus that is 90% fatal in people with low immune systems)

I'd go with this one. It allows you to write the death scene... and if you have readers who love your character, they are going feel betrayed if you cheat them out of the experience of his death... this isn't an "oops" death (oops, a safe dropped on my character's head!) You've led this character along, you've led readers along, they ALL know it's inevitable... so do you. Take the opportunity to give yourself, your readers, and your character the satisfaction of a good death.

A good death scene (I keep the kleenex nearby while i'm writing ) can be just as cathartic and wonderful as a good orgasmic scene...

don't take the easy way out... I beg you...

 

[FallingToFly]

I'd go with this one. It allows you to write the death scene... and if you have readers who love your character, they are going feel betrayed if you cheat them out of the experience of his death... this isn't an "oops" death (oops, a safe dropped on my character's head!) You've led this character along, you've led readers along, they ALL know it's inevitable... so do you. Take the opportunity to give yourself, your readers, and your character the satisfaction of a good death.

A good death scene (I keep the kleenex nearby while i'm writing ) can be just as cathartic and wonderful as a good orgasmic scene...

don't take the easy way out... I beg you...

Problem is, I don't know enough about the CMV (although I've pulled some research material) to do it well, and I dread trying to do a hospital scene. One of the things that the character has been very adamant about through the whole thing is "I'm not dying in a fucking hospital, I'll kill myself in my own damn tub first."

Thank gods for Dreamsinfiction: she's managed to hold off the inevitable, for the moment, by playing on the character's sheer stubborness not to hurt anyone any more than he has to. Still... within the next ten chapters, chances are I'm going to have to let him go, and it's killing me, and everyone else who's gotten caught up in the story.

 

[Wyldfire]

Quick question:

I've mentioned over in AH the issue I'm having with killing off a pretty important secondary character in "Falling." I really, really can't seem to do it.

To give you some background, the character, Shaun, is the female MC's cousin and best friend. He's gay, gorgeous, an absolute doll, and he's dying of AIDS, which pisses both him and Rachel right off, and makes the male MC a little nervous.

Throughout the story, it's been hinted that Shaun is getting worse, and plausibly explained why and how. This is no: Oh, I just tested positive, BAM! I'm dying! scenario. Shaun is now getting very weak (but damn if he isn't game to try and keep up) very depressed, and more and more dependant on medications to manage the symptoms of his disease and marijuana to deal with the side effects of the drugs.

Basically, this character is sitting in the back of my head, all day, every day, begging me to kill him. He's sick, he's tired, and dammit, it is against his stubborn pride and vanity to melt down to nothing and get un-gorgeous (his words, not mine). The story -can not- get past a certain point until he dies, and we both know that, so it isn't just him being selfish here. I've been trying, honestly.. I physically can't do it alone. I get violently ill every time I try.

So far, the suggestions from helpful non-writer friends are:

-CMV (a flulike virus that is 90% fatal in people with low immune systems)
- a car accident (can't do it)
- suicide (problem is, he and Rachel are both Catholic, lapsed as they may be. Although someone recommended having him take a good solid OD, go in, confess his sins and ask for absolution for taking a life, and then passing away at the altar rail during his prayers. )
- heart attack
- falling asleep and not waking up, and leaving the cause unspecified.

Any suggestions/ guidance for how to kill a character I don't want to let go of?

An "assisted suicide" of going into a bad part of town and being killed by anti-gay gangbangers?

 

[RogueLurker]

Problem is, I don't know enough about the CMV (although I've pulled some research material) to do it well, and I dread trying to do a hospital scene. One of the things that the character has been very adamant about through the whole thing is "I'm not dying in a fucking hospital, I'll kill myself in my own damn tub first.".

Well, it sounds like your secondary character is pretty well developed and probably deserves a death scene (how callous that sounds). If you don't know that medical info, don't play that up. The key here is going to be the characters ... him and the primaries ... and their actions, reactions.

There is the possibility of in-home palliative care. I'm not sure about the american system, but I've had two relatives make a conscious decision to return home for their final weeks. Palliative care normally involves bringing essential medical equipment in (hospital bed, auto-dispensing medication machines, oxygen machines, etc) and provides for some type of in-house nursing to be available for at least part of the day (depends on the situation). Doctors who specialize in palliative care focus on making the person as comfortable as possible and managing pain and discomfort rather than "live saving" treatments. This type of decision gives both the person and their family (friends) more control in the situation and in my mind, can allow people to deal with things on their own terms. In some cases, if the person is too weak or its too much strain on the family, they may transfer the person to a hospice or palliative care hospital ... which is a completely different atmosphere than a hospital. These types of places are focused on the patient and the patient's needs ... and, if run by nuns, are spotless, quiet and peaceful ... unlike *any* hospital I've ever been in.

If you go this route, I would caution that you not to get too in depth on the medical details ... give your characater his death scene and all that that entails. But focus the story on the characters rather than on the medical jargon and explanations, because its the character that people have grown attached to, not the jargon. If you know someone with medical training or someone who has experienced the loss of someone through HIV related illness, then get them to vet it for you.

Now I'm heading back to the word association thread where I hope the tone is a bit lighter.

 

[Never]

To quote a wise writer, "Murder your darlings."

It's nice that you've grown attached to your character but people remember that, as a character, his only purpose is to die. I suggest doing so when your protagonist is already low and in serious need of love and emotional support from her cousin.

You getting violently ill is great. Write down how you feel emotionally and physically and give that to your lead a she watches someone she loves die.

You don't need medical jargon. In fact, it would be highly inappropriate. This isn't Star Trek, no one wants a doctor to pop up and rattle on about how the weakened immune system has let a previous dormant genus of the Herpes virus become aggressive leading to fulminant liver failure.