I need any feedback on people physically meeting an online luv

[luv2tvl69]

Well, My cyberluv WC and I are going to meet. The exact time and place isnt quite set up yet Possibly the bahamas in 3 weeks if my niece cant make it due to fear of flying...oh brother...but wont know that until a few days prior to travel. If not then, we are going to meet somewhere else.

I am very excited, but very very nervous. I am overweight and he is so athletic, he is tall I am short...I'm just afraid I will be such a disappointment in reality. Its not like he doesnt know this, but reality is so different than perfect cyberworld. Can anyone share their experience with first time meetings of cyber partners --both good and bad. I would like some ideas of maybe what happens--dont need sex details--unless you like to share--just how you met, spent your time, how long your 1st visit was, how you got along, how you handled it if it wasnt a good experience. I appreciate any feedback or advice.

It seems we know each other so well, we have shared alot over the past couple months, personal and sexual. Now I just want to touch him, kiss him, be in his arms, be with him...and I am so nervous, self-conscious. I dont know what to expect...I try not to expect too much so I wont be let down, but I do love him and want to physically meet him. I know it will never be more, maybe a few visits when he is on the East coast for business. But I love him nonetheless. He is so gentle and patient with all my insecurities...so sweet and kind. He makes my heart smile. Thanks again

 

[ChaoticLil]

i know exactly how you feel.

i met my Master online in a chatroom for polyamory. The really funny thing about the whole thing was that i was flirting with his husband (Master is bi and has a wife and a husband). Next thing i knew Wolf was IM'ing me, and things just clicked from there.

i have met Him and His spice once in real life, and that was at their handfasting. All three of them are wonderful people and great friends. This weekend i'm flying to Los Angeles to be with Him for a whole weekend (Yippy!). Needless to say, i can't wait.

Now that you have some of the background, let me address your doubts/fears. i am 5'7 and weigh at this time around 230lbs. my Master however is 5'6 and may weigh 130lbs soaking wet. The first time i saw a picture of Him i freaked; after all why would this georgous man be interested in me? He and his spice put my mind at ease real quick....as far as they are concerned it's what is on the inside of the person that is important, not on the outside.

Yes, i still am nervous even though Master has seen me naked and have seen me "perform" on my web cam. He has instructed me to lose weight only because he knows that it is important to me. Now i'm not so blind as to think that every man is like that; afterall the reason why i'm so nervous about my looks is because i have met those assholes. i seriously doubt though that if he's already seen pictures of you and has talked to you in length that he would run screaming away. Just be yourself and you should be okay.

 

[Lili]

Hi Chaoticlil,

Aside from my ex-husband, who I met when we were children, I've met all my boyfriends/lovers online.

The first time was a bi man that my ex and I both wanted to meet. He came to our place and spent a long weekend. We had a car accident on the way home, so that really sucked and put a damper on the rest of the weekend, but it was great nonetheless.

I was very nervous to meet him, even though I loved him dearly. I'd never had sex with anyone but my husband, so this was a huge step for us both.

He had met other people from online, so he knew how to set me at ease. It wasn't really very awkward at all, although the car accident made it all very surreal.

I flew to see the second lover I met from the net. We really cared about each other, but were not planning a long-term relationship. We both knew this was kind of a one-time thing. We spent a whole week at his place screwing out brains out. It was yummy!

I was nervous about meeting him too, but he was a friend of the guy I mentioned above, so I knew he wasn't a psycho or anything. Once he opened his arms and hugged me at the airport, I was lost. (in a good way)

There were a couple of other lovers in between there, mostly during the breakup of my marriage and things with them also seemed to fall together naturally.

When I met my boyfriend that I'm living with now, it was among a large group of people, most of them friends, or at least accquaintances. It was just friendly and platonic for the first couple of days, then escalated.

When he came to visit me that December (and we knew we'd actually be alone and actually be having sex), it was much more nerve wracking, but once I saw him it was so heavenly that I didn't know what I'd been worried about!

My lovers were all shapes and sizes and I still love every one of them. I don't think you should worry about your weight. If he loves you now, he'll love you more when he sees you.

A close friend of mine (someone I've known for 21 years), recently met and married a man she met online - and she's 300+ pounds. He didn't seem to mind that when he said "I do." (And as Maid of Honor, I had a good view!)

I say just take a deep breath and go for it! And let us know how it works out!

Lili

 

[MissTaken]

I met my husband through a phone dating service----pre internet personal ads, but comparable nonetheless. I have since my separation met several lovers via the internet.

I would only be able to add that in every case, when someone met me, they were "pleasantly surprised" and felt that I was too hard on myself in describing my physical appearance.

There have always been second dates.

Remember, it is your spirit he loves and wants to meet. The rest is just wrapping on the package and some of the best gifts ever received were wrapped in the Sunday comics.

A small bit of advice: My rule of thumb is to state clearly that the first meeting is strictly casual. For me, this means jeans and nice blouse or sweater. Hence, the additional stress of "what to wear" is illiminated. That sounds silly, but when the big day comes, it can be extremely relieving to have already dealt with that particular issue.

Go meet him. Relax. Enjoy yourself and enjoy his attention to your spirit. Then, be ready to enjoy the attention he pays to the body that he finds beautiful.

~hugs~

 

[Aphrodisiac]

Don't worry about it.

luv2 :


Don't you worry about anything....

First I do want to say there is nothing wrong with being " overweight". Your friend WC obviously sees you for who you truly are and not just for your " physical " self.

You go on your trip and while you might be nervous meeting him face to face simply act like you would -- simply be yourself. I am sure both of you will be nervous for a couple of minutes but then you just be yourself and I am sure all will be okay.

I met a friend of mine off the net' and we were nervous for like a couple of minutes & then we were joking around & teasing one another like we did when we chatted online or talked on the phone.

Simply be yourself and you will be fine.

Have a wonderful time and enjoy.

 

[SexyChele]

I've only met 2 men that I've met online.

With the first one we had talked a little on the phone as well as online, and there was a sexual "thing" between the 2 of us. We decided to meet one afternoon. He is a very nice person, but I was terribly nervous and I think he was as well. The meeting really didn't go well, despite both of us trying to keep it "light" and "casual". Although we can be online friends, in meeting each other we discovered that we just weren't "right" for each other. (Of course, a heave sexual expectation played a big role in in being nervous, and things not turning out quite right)

The second man I'd met, we had talked really only minimally online. He was going on vacation for quite a long time, and he kept in touch throughout his travels. He decided, kind of at the last minute, to change his plans and extend his vacation to include coming to where I lived. Things went MUCH better. We started off as casual friends, and became friends. I picked him up at the airport and drove him to his hotel, and we spent the weekend doing "tourist" things. There was some initial nervousness, but that eased up with conversation from the airport to his hotel. And the rest of the weekend went well. Although it didn't turn into a torrid romance - neither of us were looking for that - we did end up enjoying one another's company, and I consider him a friend.

Sorry, I can't give any "experience" regarding an online love affair - but hopefully one day I will be able to! (keeping fingers crossed!)

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i met my boyfriend online about a month ago. i thought that things werent going to go well between us because of the whole physical appearance thing.. but i was so wrong.. he really surprised me. he even told me that he doenst really care much bout what i look like.. and "if your large then you have more to hold and kiss if your slim then I can pick you up and carry you around".. and he really does hold true to that.. we keep growing closer to each other as the days go on.. and we are very open and trusting of each other.

as for our sex life.. he's my first. but it is great.. it's actually moved beyond just sex with us.. its become love making (sounds cheesy i know.. but it really doest feel like just sex).. he really respects me in bed (and everywhere else) and wont do anything i dont want to do (i can deny him some anytime i want basically)..


and believe me, i was worried about the same thing you are before i met him.. only i didnt have that much time to prepare myself for it.. i invited him over to watch a movie (as friends... and well, things happened and we're more than that now) and about 15 mins later he was here.. and i went downstairs to meet him, and i got really nervous and all thinking he wasnt going to like me because of how i looked.. and when he gave me a warm smile when he first saw me, i knew i had nothing to worry about.

 

[Babydoll508]

I have met 2 online

I met one of my boyfriends online almost 4 years ago, we chatted and emailed for close to 5 months and sent letters and pictures and then started talking on the phone. 3 Months later I decided to fly up and meet him. And believe me there was alot of sexual tension between us, we had a very enjoyable weekend 's'. I fell for him deeply, and he said he loved me, but when I went up to see him again a month later. We seemed to not have very much to talk about, still had sex. (I would say he was the best lover I have had). And when I came home he broke it off with me. I found out later that he was meeting many girls online from almost every state and just playing them. I will say that I don't regret it though, because those 9 months were amazing

Now for the wonderful story. I am married for 2 1/2 years now to a wonderful man I met on the net 3 1/2 years ago. I started chatting with him in a chat room and he was going through the same type of break up I was going through with someone he met on the net. We really hit it off as friends and things went further. I went up to visit him and the rest is history. We are now expecting our first child.

 

[Gaultier]

Wedding

Although I have no personal experience with meeting people from the net and I am not sure I want experience in that field...I can contribute to your question by this:

A relative of mine met his wife online, they wear both living on two different continents, after a lot of difficulties they were able to make it and are now happily married....


So keep cool....

 

[Primeone]

I have met several women real time after getting to know them online.
The best was a woman with whom I exchanged erotic stories. Gradually we realised we were revealing a huge anmount about ourselves; we more and more discovered that we had many values in common. We met after five months ... and married six months later.
We had each been married previously. We also feel, as we approach our first anniversary, that we have found real love. I certainly know she loves me more than any other woman has ever done. We are very happy.
For various reasons I didn't have sex with any of the other women I met.
We think the success is a result of getting to know each other on a very detailed intimate level.
This is, of course, a very simplistic summary. Already, in the replies so far, you can see that some meetings have been a great success, while others have faltered ... just like relationships in the non-electronic world.

 

[LedAstray]

Relax!!!

I've met several men (including my husband) on the internet. It sounds as if you've been completely up front and honest, so don't even give your weight a second thought if he hasn't! Honesty is probably one of the most important things.

One thing to keep in mind, and you might want to discuss this with him, is that no matter how hot your sexual chats might be, the reality could be far different. There was one guy I met, who I had so many erotic chats with and some phone conversations with -- I thought our sex would be absolutely red hot. The reality was that he had a penis the size of my thumb and couldn't sustain an erection. No offense to guys with little willies, but how about a little honesty here? Another guy I met actually lied to me about his race. He claimed to be a mixture of Japanese/caucasian/french/british with an ancestor who was african american. He was definitely african american. Had he told me this up front, I still would have wanted to meet him, but that lie was a huge wall between us. Another guy I met described himself as a cute cuddly bear, just a little overweight, but pretty athletic. He weighed well over 500 pounds. (this was several years ago before you could easily buy a scanner) Again, it was the lie that really bothered me.

Hell, even my husband lied to me. He told me he weighed 500 lbs, had warts, and smelled bad. But, he's absolutely adorable. Seriously, though, even he lied about his age, which I didn't find out about until my bridal shower. It's probably a good thing he lied, because I wouldn't have dated him otherwise (I was a 26 yr old single mother and he was 22).

Other than that, the other meetings I had were great, because we were totally honest with each other.

Here's my advice for your first meeting -- the Bahamas is a bad idea. What if he is a total creep? Where will you go??? I went to visit the little willy guy at his home, and he turned out to be a complete wacko, so I had to turn around and drive 900 miles just to get the hell away from him. This guy wouldn't take no for an answer and that's the only reason I had sex with him -- just to get him to back off. He really scared me. But definitely try to make your first visit in a neutral place, but one where you can extend your visit if he's as wonderful in person as he is online.

Good luck, and be careful!

 

[Skally]

Meeting men online

I actually met one of the guys I have casual sex with online.

When we first met, it was completely neutral - others were there, as well as his ex (who he was still with at the time).

We were soon chatting via ICQ, making jokes about strange fantasies involving a pair of Dr Martens, a tub of Ben & Jerry's and a Welsh rugby shirt

We then decided to meet up for sex.

What I would say, is be careful. Trust your instincts and always let someone you trust know where you are.

 

[Hecate]

I did - a few times - and never regretted it !

I met the man I was deeply in love with and for whom I was ready to leave my country and family to just be with him - I met people I just found nice to meet, no sex involved - I met people I just knew there was that erotic spark and it would lead to more ... and not even once was I wrong, not even once did I regrett it !

Everyone was just the way I thought them to be - thin and heavy, goergous and special looking - but since all were so honest with me I knew what I was in for - as did they and with each of them I felt at immediate ease and it was - after that initial hug on the airport or wherever we met - as if we had known each other for years in person.

Honesty is the key - then you can relax and enjoy! As long as don't have to fel guilty and worried about him finding out any "truth" about you that you have on purpose tried to hide you should be fine! Relax and enjoy .. and even if it isn't going to last for life, there will be wonderfull moments nobody will be able to ever take from you again!

Don't let those be spoiled by petty worries and fears *s* life and the little time we have is too precious!

 

[Mz_Scarlett]

I can appreciate how you feel- I've been there myself! A lot of people have already shared their stories with you and I know you read mine when I first got together with DontWaketheNeighbors so I'll just offer my two cents on online dating in general...

I know it's scary meeting an online love for the first time and that feeling probably won't go away until you are actually standing there looking into his eyes, seeing for yourself that you are beautiful and perfect to him just the way you are.

The most important thing I can tell you is to simply trust yourself and your instints- they will rarely fail you.

If you need to chat or just need someone to listen, you can PM me anytime

Good luck!

 

[luv2tvl69]

Thank you everyone

I just want to thank everyone for their feedback, pointers, advice, personal experience and positive kind words. I have had nothing else on my mind since WC asked to meet. I am going to meet him. I am feeling a little more at ease about all my insecurities and self consciousness...they are still there, but not so bad right now. Thanks to your input. I still have a ways to go, but do have some time for the butterflies to go away.

I dont expect or think this meeting will turn into anything like marriage...but for those of you that happened to, that is so lovely, and uplifting. I will be happy with some special moments, his touch, his kiss, to be in his arms....I want to please him, explore our fantasies, and fulfill our desires. I just hope I can.

Thank you all for your well wishes, just talking me through some of this. Please continue as it definitely helps to hear so many people have done this--survived both good and bad experiences. Yes I know it may not turn out as I would like, but I'll never know unless I meet him. I will let you know when we have finalized our plans, and how it turns out.