i need an editor

[Pussylover1988]

He had just walked in to the bathroom, tired and ready for bed, he knew that he should have knocked, but he was tired and as he walked in he saw something he would never forget. There standing before him naked was Rachel.
She tried to put a towel on, but the image was already burned into his head.
"Sorry" he said as he went back to his room, harder than he had ever been. After that night he knew that … ( suggestions)

 

[Reindeer58]

Reply

that she was one of the ugliest women he had ever seen even if she were his 78 year old grandmother.

I'll be glad to edit for you, see my profile Reindeer58, but you have to use your own imagination.

 

[snooper]

You might do better on the Story Ideas forum, where any number of people will help you develop this theme.

 

[honeywldcat]

I hate sounding harsh, but one thing you could consider adding is emotion. While I realize that you are only showing us a teaser, so to speak, it seems flat.