I need an editor please :)

[FistofFury]

hi. i just submitted my first story on lit. i've had mostly good feedback about the story, but i have had some people who are good writers look at it, and they tell me that it has some problems. I have some trouble with verb tense changes, and punctuation. i would appreciate help from a someone who knows more about it than i do. in the meantime, i'll research, and try to find my problem. thank you very much. here's the link to my story:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=454533

thanks a lot for looking at this

 

[CopperSkink]

Dibs on the incest.

 

[_Lynn_]

hi. i just submitted my first story on lit. i've had mostly good feedback about the story, but i have had some people who are good writers look at it, and they tell me that it has some problems. I have some trouble with verb tense changes, and punctuation. i would appreciate help from a someone who knows more about it than i do. in the meantime, i'll research, and try to find my problem. thank you very much. here's the link to my story:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=454533

my email is:

XXX

thanks a lot for looking at th

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