I Need A Sexy Houseboy

[TN_Vixen]

to come clean my house on a daily basis. I'm such a slob. I hate to clean house. HATE IT. So, I'm taking applications for that perfect male who will wear a thong as he vacuumes, mops, sweeps, dusts, launders, and fluffs my pillows.

He must also draw my bath, paint my toenails, compliment me every 10 minutes and be able to make a killer martini - shaken, not stirred.

Did I forget that he should be handsome, funny, intelligent, charming and able to whip up a batch of deliciously sinful chocolate chip cookies upon demand?

Or that he should stay late to tuck me in with an erotic bedtime story if I so choose?

He should be able to dance, to sing, to play poker (but let me win), and do very believable impressions of artists like Pacino, Hugh Grant, Billy Crystal, Bill Cosby and Robin Williams.

uh, that about covers it.

 

[Vinny]

fax me

Fax an application. This nurse needs some more work. I will be your house boy, lawn boy or even boy toy

 

[Pokerman]

Damn....I'm SO close on this....I just don't do nails...I can't stand the smell of nail polish. Is that negotiable? and the cookies, only if their the kind that come in a roll

 

[TN_Vixen]

Vinny Vinny..

yeah, Vinny is very good name for a houseboy. As I lie in my buble bath, I'll holler:

"Yo Vinny, bring me a refill"
"Vinnnnnnny, you made pancakes! How wonderful"
"Vinny Vinny, who can I turn to... "

 

[Problem Child]

Would I get Beggin' Strips?

woof.

 

[Vinny]

Tenn

And just think I go to Tenn all the time. Need a change pof pce. Would luv to please a woman like that.

 

[Merelan]

No. No.... No.... I want to be her houseboy. Damn it. Knew I should have the operation when I had a chance.

Don't suppose you would seetle for a housegirl? I make a mean chocolate chip cookie. And as for back rubs. Ooooh baby.

Please, please Vixen.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Merelen

you've convinced me darling. You start tomorrow. ~kiss

 

[Vinny]

hb/hf

How about a house boy and a house girl. I can fix the things that need fixin. Give awesome massages, I am an RN so can nurse ya when you aren't feeling well and hell if all goes right a good ffm LOL

 

[modest mouse]

Paying your houseboy, then making you my personal fuck-toy is not an option?

 

[TN_Vixen]

Would I get Beggin' Strips?

woof.

Only if you meet me in Vegas and fuck my brains out

 

[Andreina]

post an ad in a fetish magazine im sure there are a couple of willing guys out there

 

[TN_Vixen]

Paying your houseboy, then making you my personal fuck-toy is not an option?

Well, when you put it THAT way. hehe

 

[Merelan]

Yes!!!!! Get away all of you. She hired me. Me, little merelan.
I shall now proceed to spoil her, pet her, pamper her. Keep her house spotless and yet "homey" and cater to her every need.

Vinny, I too have a nursing degree. So there. Pllllllllttttt!!!!

That was suppose to be a rasberry, but I have no idea how to make those little smiley thingies.

 

[lavender]

 

[tn_8tiv]

uh, that about covers it.

What the hell, you don't want a houseboy, you want a fucking slave. Sorry, I don't do windows either.

If you want a man and not a ...boy, let me know.

 

[Demian]

Goodyear Has a new Blue Pliovic Hose...

Oh

I thought you said Hozeboy

 

[Gingersnap]

Hey PC, I thought you were Angel's houseboytoy. I much prefer pool boys except the ones in Scotland are prone to sunburn so I have to keep em in my bedroom

 

[Mischka]

Re: Re: I Need A Sexy Houseboy

If you want a man and not a ...boy, let me know.

So a guy living in a "State of Confusion" thinks he could be man enough for Vixen. Uh huh.

 

[BigDawg69]

*whispers*

Carpe Vixen . . .
carpe vixen . . .

carpe vixen . . .

carpe vixen . . .

Sieze the Lady boys, sieze the lady.

 

[BigDawg69]

Al Pacino - Godfather 3

"Just when I pull out, I push it back in!"

Ok so I took the liberty of a minor edit to the actual line.

 

[InternationalFunboy]

Vixen -

Funboy has made an excellent pool boy and bookkeeper for me in the last few years. He's also very willing to walk around very scantily clad for my sheer sexual delight. I would be willing to lend him to you, for a few days. Of course this would come at a very heavy price.

I feel the female population needs to experience the ludicrous and luscious wonders de la Funboy. I'm generous like that.

Bought and sold on the chopping block
with fleshly skintight fishnets and flowers in my hair
10 penny nipples and goldie locks...
and swiffer mop hanging from my derriere.
In the blink of my eye what do i see?
Sold to a vixen from Tennessee...

This has been another ignorant poetry moment with the LAST of the International Funboys... Ciao, baby!

 

[miles]

Under one condition.

 

[Mischka]

You get Thursday nights off?

 

[miles]

I need to get off more than once per week.

Jeez.