i need a Domme's opinion

[badboy2plezU]

i am a sub male, married to a vanilla. our relationship is great, but i have a need to submit. i have only had online D/s experiences, never r/l. You are probably thinking, share your feelings with your wife.....i have tried to bring it up, but she isn't into it, and besides, if she was she would also be a sub. should i forget about my desires, or should i keep being an online sub? or should i take it to the next level?

thank You

badboy

 

[Seduce]

i am a sub male, married to a vanilla. our relationship is great, but i have a need to submit. i have only had online D/s experiences, never r/l. You are probably thinking, share your feelings with your wife.....i have tried to bring it up, but she isn't into it, and besides, if she was she would also be a sub. should i forget about my desires, or should i keep being an online sub? or should i take it to the next level?

thank You

badboy

I am not Domme, but I think this is one of the most common questions - "I would like to do things, but my wife is not into it".
I get this kind of question all the time from wannabe-swingers males.

You say you have great relationship...... why not try and talk it over with her? Be perfectly honest and tell her how great your urge is. Ask her if she would mind very much if you fulfilled your desires online, in general ask her for opinion what she thinks you should do.

If you go on doing things secretly, it may be considered as plain cheating (I would look at it that way) and affect your relationship.

And btw, if I got it correctly, being a submissive would be something like that - to open up totally to someone and then do whatever she tells you to do.

 

[onceburned]

i am a sub male, married to a vanilla. our relationship is great, but i have a need to submit.

Oh boy, I have been down this road. I am not a domme, but one has written a nice article that you and perhaps your wife might want to read: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Domination. I wish I had seen it when I was still married. I know that I made some of the mistakes mentioned in it.

I am curious. Does your wife know about your online relationship(s)?

 

[~Blacklace~]

Oh boy, I have been down this road. I am not a domme, but one has written a nice article that you and perhaps your wife might want to read: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Domination. I wish I had seen it when I was still married. I know that I made some of the mistakes mentioned in it.

I am curious. Does your wife know about your online relationship(s)?

ahhhh you posted the very same link I was going to
Follow the link and read the entire page. It has very good stuff about easing into submission for her with just generall day to day living. Start there and then try to ease into the sexual parts. She may just find she likes it after all Some people have a hard time getting past the stereotypes that portray the lifestyle. I went thru similar circumstances with hubby, it takes time and patience and understanding that even if she does get into it, she still may not have the same likes as you. Again be open and honest with her, and quit the online stuff, you wont be able to focus on her if your too busy with others and serving them, plus in most opinions it IS cheating, and nobody vanilla or otherwise wants to be cheated on.

 

[roosterado9]

I am 49 and had not dated for 7-8 yrs.I just started I had a date with a female sub I really liked. I thiught I might Dom her-what a jokle I realized a 49 I am full sub male. don't really have a clue what to do.
Have always liked Strong but feminie women All my girlfriends had the strength to leave their former Husbands LOL

 

[badboy2plezU]

Thanks

thank You all for Your input. Also thanks for the link. i haven't read it yet, but am on my way. btw, no she does not know about my online stuff.


badboy

 

[onceburned]

I hope you enjoyed reading "The Good Girl's Guide to Female Domination". Since the author frequents these message threads you might feel comfortable asking any questions about it.

BTW, I do not want you to think I am passing judgement on you - I can't do that since I do not know your life. But you might want to consider that if your wife finds out that you were having an online relationship with another woman (behind her back) she may likely be feel hurt and betrayed. I am thinking that you do not want to cause hurt to your wife. There are other options.