I love my brother...

[cloudy]

My younger brother is right at two years younger...we shared a room when we were young and the house was crowded with other siblings and the foundlings that my older brother and sisters were constantly bringing home.

They were much older than the two of us; the closest in age is still seven years older than I am, and so their friends and foundlings were much older, too. I remember being sort of bewildered at all the fuss at one of my older sister's weddings. I think I was maybe eight.

I used to tease Andrew about sleeping with his toy tractor. He retaliated by throwing my Easy Bake Oven at me, and breaking it.

We eventually each got our own room as the older ones moved out and on with their lives, but many times we could be found in each other's room, sharing secrets and plotting against the older ones. It changed a bit as we moved into puberty. He was no longer my closest confidante, and we fought like we were honestly trying to kill each other, but I've dared others to say the slightest word against him, and seen them back down.

We were roommates in college...renting an old rundown house, and still squabbling as if we were still 11 and 13. I still wouldn't hear a word against him. He did my calculus homework for me, and I wrote his english papers.

He moved to the west coast, and I quit hearing from him. The last I'd heard he was strung out on heroin, and no one in my family knew if he was even still alive. Certain songs would bring me to tears upon hearing them, particularly She Talks to Angels, by the Black Crowes. I'm sure you've heard the song, know what its about.

I missed him so much.

We finally found out he was still alive when he was arrested for robbing a bank. I'm not a religious person in the least, but I thanked God the day I heard, because my brother was still alive, regardless of the circumstances.

I haven't seen him in over ten years, and our communication is limited now to a phone call every six months or so, and letters that we write furiously back and forth.

He's so lonely.

My point to this? Many here have posted that they have problems getting along with their siblings. It's understandable. If Andrew and I were around each other for any length of time, I'm sure we'd fall back on our old ways.

But....love your brothers and sisters. You don't ever know when they'll be taken from you, and no one will ever know you as well, or forgive you as much as they will.

Andrew gets out this year. I look forward to trying to kill him, once again.

 

[DesertPirate]

Best of luck

 

[MagicaPractica]

I hear you.

I actually wrote a short essay on it for Lit. Oh Brother! And Sister!

I'm very thankful for my siblings, and that we never gave up on trying to make our relationships better.

 

[keeblercrumb]

My younger brother is right at two years younger...we shared a room when we were young and the house was crowded with other siblings and the foundlings that my older brother and sisters were constantly bringing home.

They were much older than the two of us; the closest in age is still seven years older than I am, and so their friends and foundlings were much older, too. I remember being sort of bewildered at all the fuss at one of my older sister's weddings. I think I was maybe eight.

I used to tease Andrew about sleeping with his toy tractor. He retaliated by throwing my Easy Bake Oven at me, and breaking it.

We eventually each got our own room as the older ones moved out and on with their lives, but many times we could be found in each other's room, sharing secrets and plotting against the older ones. It changed a bit as we moved into puberty. He was no longer my closest confidante, and we fought like we were honestly trying to kill each other, but I've dared others to say the slightest word against him, and seen them back down.

We were roommates in college...renting an old rundown house, and still squabbling as if we were still 11 and 13. I still wouldn't hear a word against him. He did my calculus homework for me, and I wrote his english papers.

He moved to the west coast, and I quit hearing from him. The last I'd heard he was strung out on heroin, and no one in my family knew if he was even still alive. Certain songs would bring me to tears upon hearing them, particularly She Talks to Angels, by the Black Crowes. I'm sure you've heard the song, know what its about.

I missed him so much.

We finally found out he was still alive when he was arrested for robbing a bank. I'm not a religious person in the least, but I thanked God the day I heard, because my brother was still alive, regardless of the circumstances.

I haven't seen him in over ten years, and our communication is limited now to a phone call every six months or so, and letters that we write furiously back and forth.

He's so lonely.

My point to this? Many here have posted that they have problems getting along with their siblings. It's understandable. If Andrew and I were around each other for any length of time, I'm sure we'd fall back on our old ways.

But....love your brothers and sisters. You don't ever know when they'll be taken from you, and no one will ever know you as well, or forgive you as much as they will.

Andrew gets out this year. I look forward to trying to kill him, once again.

-KC

 

[starrkers]

I have a brother. I used to have two. They are both much older than I.

I used to think I'd dance on the grave of the one no longer with us. The crime he was convicted of is one of the worst (if not the worst). It tore my family apart.

My brother got out of jail. He spent a few months living with my parents, then they financed him into a small business, which he ran into the ground and then disappeared, travelling north till he ran out of money.

He kept in touch with my parents and my brother. I wanted nothing to do with him and my other brother's wife wouldn't have him in her house.

But when the call came that he was on life support part of me stopped living, waiting to know if he'd be OK so I could go back to pretending he didn't exist. I didn't have to. My parents had to make the decision to turn off the machines keeping their eldest child alive and he died a week later.

I have few good memories of him. He was 15 years older than me. He did some terrible things. I remember some of them, feel guilty about others that happened later.

But I still mourn his loss. He was my brother.

 

[3113]

My brother and I fought brutally as kids. But then he hit age 11, quieted down, and we became good friends. I recall someone saying that we often feel closer to our siblings than to just about anyone else, even our spouses, simply because our siblings share our memories like no one else does. Memories of parents, obviously, of houses lived in, favorite foods, celebrations, disasters, major events, and often secrets.

Siblings are the survivors of a family, in a way, they've know the family short-hand. And often, the older we get, the closer we get...though, alas, this isn't true of all families.

I'm glad your brother is still alive an in contact with you Cloudy. In many ways, it's a lot harder to lose a sibling than it is to lose a parent.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

I almost cried when i read that cloudy...but you know your right. No matter what they do you still love them even when you hate them. I'd rather have all my siblings to fight with and argue than not have them here.

One of my brothers was killed in a freak accident when i was 16 and it broke my heart, he taught me how to play basketball and stand up for myself and how just to find happiness within your self.

My closest sibling my sister was killed by her husband a couple of years ago and another hole came into my heart. We were close and yet so far away. She got me into a load of trouble and I saved her ass many times. I just wish I could have saved her the last time.

And now one of my other brothers has died and I didn't get to tell him goodbye.

The rest of my siblings, I'm going to sit on them for the rest of their lives and wrap them in bubble wrap. And yes I've told part of them that and they all gave the little laugh that they do when they think I'm living up to my namesake.

For me family is everything whether your mad at each other or not. My heart holds very special memories of all of them and even knowing the bad things they might do I break a little every time one of them hurts or leaves this world. I still want to protect them though I'm one of the younger ones.

We were all brought together by strange and difficult circumstances and I wouldn't trade them for anything. They are all very far away but never very far at all.

for you and the others on here

 

[Tarakin]

 

[SavannahMann]

We all have relatives we're not happy with

I have a cousin, and I don't think anyone knows if she's alive or dead. She got involved in drugs, same old story, last I heard was a prostitute in California. Stole from her parents, stole from everyone who would try and help her. She's a vacuum, sucking up your hope and best efforts.

I have a Brother in Law who's much the same way. Right now, he's in the final stages of congestive heart failure, and I really don't feel sorry for him. I know the crimes he's committed, and I know the wrongs he's done. Every opportunity that he's been given has been thrown away. We helped set him up in an apartment, set him up with an allowance. Hoping that this time, he'd do the right thing. The day he got his money, he would go out and buy drugs and booze and party. The next day he'd be on the phone begging for money.

I'm sorry my in-law's have to go through it with him, I'm sorry for the families that have to endure the sadness of seeing a family member throw their lives away. He's the one I don't feel sorry for, because he tosses away every opportunity. He takes every kind thing done for him, and turns it to evil. If you promised him drugs and booze for a night, he'd gladly offer you his soul.

He doesn't call me anymore. Nor does he call the wife anymore. I convinced him that was a bad idea, one of the advantages of growing up in a tough neighborhood, or perhaps an advantage of military training. Either way, he won't call me or her again. I can't solve his problems, he won't do it. Now we expect him to pass on before the end of this calender year, probably before summer is in full swing, and I'm patiently waiting. He's been no good to anyone on earth, perhaps he'll serve some better purpose in the next life.

He's been nothing but pain to the parents who brought him into this world, and sacrificed to give him as good a life as they could. His Father, my Father in Law, was a Marine who stormed the beach at Iwo Jima. Was wounded there, and medically discharged. If the measure of a man is what you're willing to fight for, then the brother in law is a party. Because the only thing I've ever heard him sincere about wanting, is booze and drugs.

Cloudy, I hope your brother doesn't follow those footsteps. I hope your story becomes an inspiration to us all, and I'd be happy to hear from you about it now and then. Perhaps you could start an e-mail list or blog on your brothers life out of prison. May it have a fifty year run of new entries.

 

[sutherngent985]

My younger brother and I fought like cats and dogs growing up. Mom sometimes said we wouldn't reach 18 as 1 of us would kill the other before then. We both managed to reach 18, and alot more. We partied some together, grew up some, got married and had kids. He stayed near our parents, I moved across the country for work. Once I moved out, we became, if not close, at least friendly.

That is, until he found religion. Since then he has become what I hate in so many religious people, a hypocrite. He sits in judgment of me, saying all the things I used to do (with him ) were bad and I will go to hell, etc, etc. He is now a deacon in his church. The last time we were together at our parents, he didn't say a word to me. I tried to talk with him but he just ignored me.

The fact that he is like this to me, while I don't like it, I can live with it. But it puts me in a rage that he ignores my son as well. My son is almost 10 and he hasn't got a birthday or christmas card from his uncle in over 4 years. He asks why and I don't know what to say to him.

While I don't wish bad things to happen to him, I know that once our parents are gone, I will never see or hear from him again. And, I'm fine with that. I figure, he doesn't know what he is missing, especially not knowing my son. I have tried on numerous occasions to start communication. Now, it is up to him. I'm at the point where I see myself pretty much as an only child. While I won't miss him when he's gone, I will miss what could have been between us.

Cloudy, I hope things work out for you and your brother.

 

[impressive]

I just emailed my "baby" brother this morning. Like yours, he's 2 years younger. We aren't close, but we always had each other's backs.

Here's hoping your reunion is absolutely wonderful!

 

[WM1966]

My brothers has been a junkie for 15 years , I do not see him often as he tends to "borrow" things from Me.

I saw him at Christmas has he had been clean 5 weeks....He looks the best I have seen him since He was 17

Good Luck.

 

[Guest]

Cloudy -

 

[rgraham666]

Sending strength and hope you an your brother's way, cloudy.

 

[jomar]

 

[christabelll]

Hugs to you Cloudy - Wow... thats amazing -

I have three sisters and a brother I have never met.
We fight like cats and then come back to calm the ruffled feathers sometimes a year later but its still happening....

We have all had our tough times and when possible we helped each other through them, not always as we would have wanted but with the love only a sibling can offer. We have none of us spent more than a few hours in each others company - all at once - in more than 20 years. But the phone bills and postage bills are enormous when certain events roll around.

I dream of a day when we can with our children stand beside our mother and show her the proud if tattered women we have become, with our legacy standing right there with us. Almost 20 of us on this particular branch. If you put us all together there will be close to 150 at the next family reunuion....

I am the only one that still keeps in contact with my mothers brothers and their children and granchildren etc etc...

Sometimes - no matter how old you are, the child hood hurts and the adult wounds keep those who do love each other apart, as is the case with my mother and her brothers. Its really sad and extremely frustrating to watch the incredible pain they suffer out of stubborn pride and hurt feelings. My mother refused to attend her own mothers funeral because the hurt was too deep between her and her sibs... It was me who represented our branch when she died in 2006 at 93 years of age. Death levels the playing field for certain.

So Cloudy - Rock on - with respect from me.

And though we may hate each other on occassion - blood is an awesome glue.

 

[Liar]

My brother and sister are my best friends. Probably the two people in the world I truly trust. Doesn't mean I don't want to piss in their coffee now and then. They can be real idiots sometimes, and have a history of messing up my life. But they're my idiots, dammit, and I'll defend them to death. It's as simple as that.

Here's to you Cloudy. With best wishes for a future of everyday bickering with your brother about stuff that doesn't really matter. Because as long as it's just that, it's not the other kind.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I had two sisters and a brother. My brother was killed in Ulster so I hardly knew him. My older sister died of brain cancer three years ago. That sister and I were great friends our entire lives. Now she's gone and left a deep, dark hole where she once was.

My younger sister and I never really got along until after our elder died. Now we have a passing relationship. However, she's still too bossy and I'm still too independant.

Hang onto your brother, Cloudy. You can't know what you have until you've lost it forever.

 

[buxxxom]

for you, cloudy.

My brother and I, while close geographically, rarely speak. It's not that we dislike each other, just that busy lives have take precedence over things. Your post is a heads up for many, myself included.

 

[SeaCat]

Cloudy, I hope that things work out for the best with you and your brother.

As for me, I rarely hear from my siblings. It seems they are angry with me.

My sister is a welfare queen and has been since she left home at 16. She has never worked a day in her life and thinks the world owes her because of this. Two of her kids are the same way. She stopped talking with me several years ago. I had moved to Florida and away from her and her kids. She called me and wanted me to take in her son because the local police were harrasing him. (It turned out they were harrasing him because he was constantly in trouble for things like B&E, Drug Possesion and Racial Attacks.) I refused her requests and she became slightly angry. Then my mother had a Heart attack. My sister didn't bother to call and inform me of this. (I found out the next day from my mothers best friend.)

At the same time my brother had re-married. His wife seemed to find our family distasteful. He pulled away from the rest of the family even as he demanded I leave Florida to return to New England and be near the family. He became what I like to call a Born Again Catholic and claimed I was a sinner. I was not allowed in his house or near his children as I might corrupt them. Then my mother had her heart attack.

When she had her heart attack my father was in Alaska teaching for the Air Force. When I heard about the Heart Attack I tossed a bunch of shit in the back of my beat up Mini-Van and headed North. (My wife stayed in Florida.) It took me two days to drive from Florida to Mass. I didn't sleep and I stopped only to get gas and coffee, and to return the coffee after several hours.

I stayed at her side for three days until she was released from the hospital, keeping my father updated and terrorising the Hospital Staff. During this time my sister called and asked me what she was getting from the will. (I'm both of my parents executer.) I informed her that she was getting nothing as our mother wasn't dead. She didn't like that answer and claimed I was just keeping everything to myself.

Several days after she was released from the hospital my father came home. I repacked the van and headed back to Florida.

Two years ago my parents sold one of six land lots they own on Cape. They sold it for well under market value to friends of theirs so they could build a house on it. My brother and sister found out about this and went ballistic. They accused my parents of squandering their inheritance. They went so far as to file a competency hearing for my parents. They tried to drag me into it and became enraged when I asked them why they thought they deserved a damned thing from our parents. Our parents had worked hard all their lives to get what tey had, and wat they did with it was up to them. If they decided to sell everything and use the money to travel and have, well I was just fine with that. I haven't heard from my sister since then, and rarely from my brother.

On the other hand I hear from my parents on a near daily basis, as well as my In-Laws and from the widely scattered Uncles, Aunts and Cousins I have all over the world.

Cat

 

[Misty_Morning]

I envy folks that have a close relationship with their siblings...even if they are tried.

I used to be very close to my siblings.

But no longer.


Sometimes you have to let go.

Other than sporadic contact with my dad, I have no contact with anyone in my family.

It has been hard, but all in all it has been better for me as far as stress.


When Grace and I raise our family, they shall come first. I'll remember the heartaches I have had to endure and will strive to not repeat them.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

I become a 15 year old spoilt brat with my 11 year old sister, and i just can't seem to help it.

We bicker like im NOT 20 years old, and i don't know why, when i should know better and behave more appropriately.

But, i know at the end of the day i love my sister, and my little one too.

The future might be hard for us to maintain a proper relationship, but i guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

And i agree with what Misty said in her last line. <3

 

[Emerald_Dragon]

Cloudy, I hope that things work out for the best with you and your brother.

As for me, I rarely hear from my siblings. It seems they are angry with me.

My sister is a welfare queen and has been since she left home at 16. She has never worked a day in her life and thinks the world owes her because of this. Two of her kids are the same way. She stopped talking with me several years ago. I had moved to Florida and away from her and her kids. She called me and wanted me to take in her son because the local police were harrasing him. (It turned out they were harrasing him because he was constantly in trouble for things like B&E, Drug Possesion and Racial Attacks.) I refused her requests and she became slightly angry. Then my mother had a Heart attack. My sister didn't bother to call and inform me of this. (I found out the next day from my mothers best friend.)

At the same time my brother had re-married. His wife seemed to find our family distasteful. He pulled away from the rest of the family even as he demanded I leave Florida to return to New England and be near the family. He became what I like to call a Born Again Catholic and claimed I was a sinner. I was not allowed in his house or near his children as I might corrupt them. Then my mother had her heart attack.

When she had her heart attack my father was in Alaska teaching for the Air Force. When I heard about the Heart Attack I tossed a bunch of shit in the back of my beat up Mini-Van and headed North. (My wife stayed in Florida.) It took me two days to drive from Florida to Mass. I didn't sleep and I stopped only to get gas and coffee, and to return the coffee after several hours.

I stayed at her side for three days until she was released from the hospital, keeping my father updated and terrorising the Hospital Staff. During this time my sister called and asked me what she was getting from the will. (I'm both of my parents executer.) I informed her that she was getting nothing as our mother wasn't dead. She didn't like that answer and claimed I was just keeping everything to myself.

Several days after she was released from the hospital my father came home. I repacked the van and headed back to Florida.

Two years ago my parents sold one of six land lots they own on Cape. They sold it for well under market value to friends of theirs so they could build a house on it. My brother and sister found out about this and went ballistic. They accused my parents of squandering their inheritance. They went so far as to file a competency hearing for my parents. They tried to drag me into it and became enraged when I asked them why they thought they deserved a damned thing from our parents. Our parents had worked hard all their lives to get what tey had, and wat they did with it was up to them. If they decided to sell everything and use the money to travel and have, well I was just fine with that. I haven't heard from my sister since then, and rarely from my brother.

On the other hand I hear from my parents on a near daily basis, as well as my In-Laws and from the widely scattered Uncles, Aunts and Cousins I have all over the world.

Cat

My dad and his brother had a horrible five year battle with their sister over inheretence stuff. My aunt is a bit unstable and drug things out forever as well as trying to fling as much mud as possible.

I told my dad he had better spend everything he has on him and my step mom because I dont want the battle when he dies. He just smiled at me and laughed.

I really hate people who think that their relatives money is their inheritence. I hope your parents have a great time spending every penny on themselves and visit you and your family often. Spending time with you and your kids is the best gift they could give you. Kudos for you and your parents.