I lost my shirt

[Agent99]

While patiently awaiting and anticipating a fine dining experience, I ended up being the floor show for my fellow diners at an upscale restaurant last night.

Like a slow-motion dream sequence dance, I saw it coming but had no time to react and move out of the way. Two waiters began their ballet each loaded down with trays full of the house specialty.

Instead of courtesy and respect leading them to make the right decision to step to the side to allow the other to pass, these two alpha males decided to plow ahead in their respective directions. No doubt trying to prove their masculinity. Instead of sure-footedness and grace in a well-rehearsed routine, they collided head on... right behind me.

The fine bone china didn't really hurt too much as it hit my neck and shoulders. However, the Porterhouse steak, Lyonnaise potatoes and asparagus were a wee bit warm as they landed on my back.

The gasps [and a few assorted giggles] from surrounding diners alerted me to the fact that my perfectly coiffed hair was now a mélange of 5 star cuisine.

Ok, this was mildly embarrassing but nothing I couldn't handle with a few jokes about the service being both 'rare' and not so 'well done'.

What made this episode annoying was when the Manager came over. He barely spit out an apology and then offered to pay my dry cleaning ... if I insisted. WTH? Yeah, I insisted. I also insisted that he pay for our dinners as well.

Cheap ass, rude fucking bastard.

So, I ordered dessert too. Was I wrong?


Oh, the part about losing my shirt... Yeah, luckily I was wearing a blouse over a silk tank top. I had to take that off. No bra. Cold A/C. I'm pretty sure the wait staff got rewarded in a way they never imagined. I guess sometimes a nip is better than a tip. Still, it was aggravating.

You folks have any restaurant horror stories?

 

[jomar]

That manager probably won't be there long. He thinks short term.

 

[lovecraft68]

A month ago the wife and I went out with my sister and my brother in law.

Nothing fancy, a Mexican restaurant called Agaves.

Two booths over is a couple with two kids that looked around six(so not infants or even toddlers)

The kids were laughing, singing, yelling and banging their glasses loud as hell the entire time. The parent were saying absolutely nothing to them.

Now I raised two daughters and if they acted like that, they would have been taken into the bathroom and smacked, or we would have left.

This went on until my sister, who had finally had enough, asked the woman point blank if she could control her kids.

The parents were both indignant and the father asked my sister what her issue was. The manager came over and asked what was going on.

My wife told him it was rude and ignorant for the people to not make their kids behave because they were ruining the dining experience for everyone else in the room, and people were spending their hard earned money on their well earned night out.

The manager went and talked to the parents then came back and told us, that perhaps we should leave, I mean after all they're just kids.

So we got pissed and left without paying for our food and the manager tried once to mention we didn't pay, which was when two other couples sitting near us got up and said they agreed with us, were leaving as well, were also not paying and would never come there again.

You know a lot of people think its mean to say there should be a no kids section in restaurants, but I am not one of them. Especially these days where people like DR Phil have idiot face book surfing parents convincing them its okay to let junior piss himself until he's ten and to never discipline them.

Seriously what would happen to us if we acted like that in public.

 

[Mia62]

The restaurant is fully prepared to reimburse you for lost hair-coif along as well as lost shirt (super expensive real silk), yes

 

[Squibbs]

I once sharted a little squirt in my undies.

 

[fgarvb1]

I still haven't lived down the"ketchup Incident"

And that is all I have to say about that!

 

[Ishmael]

While patiently awaiting and anticipating a fine dining experience, I ended up being the floor show for my fellow diners at an upscale restaurant last night.

Like a slow-motion dream sequence dance, I saw it coming but had no time to react and move out of the way. Two waiters began their ballet each loaded down with trays full of the house specialty.

Instead of courtesy and respect leading them to make the right decision to step to the side to allow the other to pass, these two alpha males decided to plow ahead in their respective directions. No doubt trying to prove their masculinity. Instead of sure-footedness and grace in a well-rehearsed routine, they collided head on... right behind me.

The fine bone china didn't really hurt too much as it hit my neck and shoulders. However, the Porterhouse steak, Lyonnaise potatoes and asparagus were a wee bit warm as they landed on my back.

The gasps [and a few assorted giggles] from surrounding diners alerted me to the fact that my perfectly coiffed hair was now a mélange of 5 star cuisine.

Ok, this was mildly embarrassing but nothing I couldn't handle with a few jokes about the service being both 'rare' and not so 'well done'.

What made this episode annoying was when the Manager came over. He barely spit out an apology and then offered to pay my dry cleaning ... if I insisted. WTH? Yeah, I insisted. I also insisted that he pay for our dinners as well.

Cheap ass, rude fucking bastard.

So, I ordered dessert too. Was I wrong?


Oh, the part about losing my shirt... Yeah, luckily I was wearing a blouse over a silk tank top. I had to take that off. No bra. Cold A/C. I'm pretty sure the wait staff got rewarded in a way they never imagined. I guess sometimes a nip is better than a tip. Still, it was aggravating.

You folks have any restaurant horror stories?

Oh yeah, although not a restaurant per se'.

It was one of those 106 in the shade days in El Paso and my buddy, his fiance', his sister (my gf at the time) and myself decided to stop at the local A&W for a root beer float. We were on our way somewhere so it was one of those 'grab and go' scenes.

We got our goodies and I clamped mine between my legs whilst paying attention to something else, probably Joe's sister. He saw an opening in traffic and gunned the car.

About 1/3 of that float flowed onto my crotch. I cannot begin to describe the pain. Dry ice would have been welcome relief at the time. Seconds became hours.

To this day I still experience a residual ache and cringe just thinking about that moment.

Ishmael

 

[SkAoUt]

It was years ago. Some university friends and I were out for sushi. I'd ordered some vegetable tempura to start. The first bite I took of a piece of yam tempura had hot oil spurting up my schnoz. Holy hell was that an eye watering experience which I paid for by catching the bill.

 

[fgarvb1]

Wait until you dump a large steaming cup of cocoa on the crotch while driving down the street at forty MPH!


I was driving in all four lanes!

 

[Ishmael]

Wait until you dump a large steaming cup of cocoa on the crotch while driving down the street at forty MPH!


I was driving in all four lanes!

I doubt the difference would be noticeable.

Ishmael

 

[cfuhrer]

Oh yeah, although not a restaurant per se'.

It was one of those 106 in the shade days in El Paso and my buddy, his fiance', his sister (my gf at the time) and myself decided to stop at the local A&W for a root beer float. We were on our way somewhere so it was one of those 'grab and go' scenes.

We got our goodies and I clamped mine between my legs whilst paying attention to something else, probably Joe's sister. He saw an opening in traffic and gunned the car.

About 1/3 of that float flowed onto my crotch. I cannot begin to describe the pain. Dry ice would have been welcome relief at the time. Seconds became hours.

To this day I still experience a residual ache and cringe just thinking about that moment.

Ishmael

Brain freeze?

 

[fgarvb1]

I doubt the difference would be noticeable.

Ishmael

Me and my scalded balls beg to differ!

Was kind of tender for several days.

 

[Agent99]

Me and my scalded balls beg to differ!

Then I would think you'd welcome the Global Cooling you're talking about!

 

[Cratchit]

Oh yeah, although not a restaurant per se'.

It was one of those 106 in the shade days in El Paso and my buddy, his fiance', his sister (my gf at the time) and myself decided to stop at the local A&W for a root beer float. We were on our way somewhere so it was one of those 'grab and go' scenes.

We got our goodies and I clamped mine between my legs whilst paying attention to something else, probably Joe's sister. He saw an opening in traffic and gunned the car.

About 1/3 of that float flowed onto my crotch. I cannot begin to describe the pain. Dry ice would have been welcome relief at the time. Seconds became hours.

To this day I still experience a residual ache and cringe just thinking about that moment.

Ishmael

I don't understand. If it was that hot of a day and it was a root beer float, how was their pain? I would think the cold wouldn't be so bad. Uncomfortable, yes, but it wasn't a hot drink

 

[fgarvb1]

Then I would think you'd welcome the Global Cooling you're talking about!

I could have used some that week!

Any kind of hot dairy product tends to cling and not cool fast like water.

I say this with a straight face...DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

 

[fgarvb1]

Oh. Ish is correct about the pain.

Cold burns like fire until the skin goes numb.

Some people like to play with ice cubes.

 

[Ishmael]

Brain freeze?

Bitch.

Ishmael

 

[scrymettet]

I watched a mouse eating the fallen food under the tables.
5 star casino/hotel/etc in Vegas.
I told the waiter and we got the dinner free.
We did left the tip

 

[Agent99]

I watched a mouse eating the fallen food under the tables.

Too bad that wasn't a ... Mirage

 

[Ishmael]

I watched a mouse eating the fallen food under the tables.
5 star casino/hotel/etc in Vegas.
I told the waiter and we got the dinner free.
We did left the tip

Saw that too, but it was at DC Union Station so I never really gave it a second thought.

Ishmael

 

[scrymettet]

Too bad that wasn't a ... Mirage

and neither a white one ran away from a magician

 

[thør]

I watched a mouse eating the fallen food under the tables.
5 star casino/hotel/etc in Vegas.
I told the waiter and we got the dinner free.
We did left the tip

A rat ran across the dining room floor in a walk up restaurant in SF's Chinatown. Meh. Best Chinese food, ever.

 

[cfuhrer]

Bitch.

Ishmael

Just for you.

Scouting for elk season yet?

 

[Ishmael]

Just for you.

Scouting for elk season yet?

Not really, they're all up high and in the deep timber now. I know where they're at, hell, everyone does. It just don't count until season opens.

Got trout on my mind now.

Ishmael

 

[tactful]

I lost a quarter once, went looking for it, and found a dollar, still pissed about losing that quarter though, now, I'm only seventy-five cents in the black.