I kink, therefore I am...

[lne_iii]

But seriously, think about it...why do you do it?

I think for me, it's because it breaks so many of society's rules.

A society I am more and more learning is full of shit, but that's beside the point.

I've always been interested in things that weren't "mainstream" if you will.

And I seriously think that we are never going to be in danger of being "mainstream"...

Then there's the obvious answer....it's so damned much fun!

Anywho, any thoughts?


LNE

 

[O'Mac]

But seriously, think about it...why do you do it?

I think for me, it's because it breaks so many of society's rules.

A society I am more and more learning is full of shit, but that's beside the point.

I've always been interested in things that weren't "mainstream" if you will.

And I seriously think that we are never going to be in danger of being "mainstream"...

Then there's the obvious answer....it's so damned much fun!

Anywho, any thoughts?

Gah. I hate this whole philosophy of counter-culture at times. It's all about style over substance. It seems people can't do something to enjoy it anymore, we all have to do it because it's different. Honestly, when did the majority of the western population become attention whores all of a sudden. This whole "Oh, I'm original because I'm not mainstream" bullshit is really running thin for me. And in my opinion, BDSM is becoming more and more mainstream everyday. And I for one couldn't be happier because of it. It's funny as well, because I notice others seeing the more accepting trend and trying harder and harder to raise the bar it seems. BDSM breaks so many rules? Like what? If safe and consentual, no laws are being contravened. Is it breaking some sort of moral code? Take a look around. There are people of all faiths practising the lifestyle and are comfortable with it.

In fact, the whole attitude reminds me of a phrase I use quite often in scene:

You're not special because you think you're different.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I do it because it is part of who and what I am.

The beast within that wants to destroy, ravish, rape, plunder.

Through SM play that beast finds an outlet, a way to sate the rage without seriously damaging another person.

Because I have a pool of consenting victi.. uh.. volunteers! Yeah! Volunteers!

Being "counter-culture"? Hell I was an SF geek before being an SF geek was cool. I was playing Dungeons & Dragons in 1977 when it was 3 book digest sized boxed set. I've _always_ been a little outside the boundaries. SM ain't about being "different", for me it's about acceptance, of myself, by myself and those I share it with.

It's FUN! It's HOT! It's SEXY!

 

[O'Mac]

Being "counter-culture"? Hell I was an SF geek before being an SF geek was cool. I was playing Dungeons & Dragons in 1977 when it was 3 book digest sized boxed set. I've _always_ been a little outside the boundaries. SM ain't about being "different", for me it's about acceptance, of myself, by myself and those I share it with.

Ahh, the old memories of AD&D. Though say what you will about back in the day, the 3.5 rules are nice.

Thread? Oh, it's been highjacked.
O'mac a geek? I think that's more than apparent.

 

[lne_iii]

Gah. I hate this whole philosophy of counter-culture at times. It's all about style over substance. It seems people can't do something to enjoy it anymore, we all have to do it because it's different. Honestly, when did the majority of the western population become attention whores all of a sudden. This whole "Oh, I'm original because I'm not mainstream" bullshit is really running thin for me. And in my opinion, BDSM is becoming more and more mainstream everyday. And I for one couldn't be happier because of it. It's funny as well, because I notice others seeing the more accepting trend and trying harder and harder to raise the bar it seems. BDSM breaks so many rules? Like what? If safe and consentual, no laws are being contravened. Is it breaking some sort of moral code? Take a look around. There are people of all faiths practising the lifestyle and are comfortable with it.

In fact, the whole attitude reminds me of a phrase I use quite often in scene:

You're not special because you think you're different.

Holy shit dude, I must have conveyed myself badly.

I was talking about the world as I see it...gotta consider where I am and how people around me are.

Maybe it's a perspective thing.
-shrug-

And, I do enjoy it, but, that's easily summed up for me in the last sentence of the original post.

 

[O'Mac]

Holy shit dude, I must have conveyed myself badly.

Nah man, it's cool. I just always see the same happen over and over again. People get too caught up in the mentality to be different or go to such an unnatural extreme to set them apart from others. Like you said, it should only be a case of doing it because it's enjoyable.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Why do I do it? Basically because like EG says it is who I am. I was fantasising around 5-6yo about bondage and SM type things and at that stage, coming from a very quiet, country bred family who rarely socialised with anyone, I knew nothing about sex as such but knew my body demanded something of me which took me beyond simply fantasising. It was not unusual for me to do whatever I could to bring those fantasies to life behind closed doors...lol, got caught by my mother once but made out I had been asleep and had no idea how I got naked and clothing wrapped around limbs in bondage type fashion. Unfortunately, being as quiet as my family were, I was not exposed to others who seriously shared my tastes until in my 30's-40's when I actively sought it out online. I had books, I had fantasies, but I wasn't sure how to find anyone else who shared my tastes or if there really were people seriously wanting to try it, and I was not about to talk about it with those around me.

The being different thing doesn't work for me. I am different in many other ways and always have been, but like my D/s tastes, it was difference borne of who I am more so than who I wanted to be seen to be...and it often complicates my ife moreso than making it easier. We live a very quiet life, don't go to parties or clubs, don't socialise at this point with others into the lifestyle (except for the couple of people we have played with which is a play only situation, not socialising and friendship outings), so no-one really sees what we are into. We have a couple of vanilla friends and family who are aware of the status of our relationship, but they do not want to know anything else, or see it, and we are happy to keep it that way. We do it because we have to if we want to be happy and fulfilled.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

This thread title is funny to me in light of what Eb said to me last night. Before I went out she and I were discussing her strap-ons ans she said:

I fuck, therefore I am.

LOL

 

[Shankara20]

I fuck, therefore I am.

LOL

well somebody fucked - therefore you are




hee hee


I need more coffee

 

[Ebonyfire]

But seriously, think about it...why do you do it?



LNE

Because I CAN!

Eb

 

[Pure]

ine

i think i see your point; essentially it's about transgression.

now, before OMac goes off on me let me say that "because it's who i am" and "because it trangresses social norms" can coincide, as reasons.

this view is akin to Evil Geoff's, in that the asocial and antisocial impulses are there in all of us. one does NOT 'go against the norm' just 'cuz it's kewl. the desire or drive is built in.

the issue is how to survive, to channel the "Id", the forbidden impulses. leave aside the criminal path (serial rapist, etc.).
just look at the life of the Marquis de Sade, whose criminal activity was minor* (but whose prison time was many years); it shows some of the problems with 'letting a part of oneself out' in certain circumstances (about which one may have no choice).

*essentially, assaulting several prostitutes in a not-permanently-injurious way (e.g. whipping). such crimes not usually--for other offenders-- resulting in 20 year prison terms.

 

[SpectreT]

Why?

Damned if I know, exactly. I can point to the moments in my life where I realized each kink I seem to have. Things that clued me in to just how I was twisted, and further realization that nearly everyone is twisted, to one degreee or another, but I can't point to anything that made me this way.

Like every human behavior, I do it because there's a payoff. There's an adrenaline rush; there's endorphins. There's just plain fun, the ability to play. There's a need, and this is the piece of the jigsaw puzzle that fits.

[mini hijack]And to O'Mac and Geoff: Nice to see I'm not the only old school RPG'er. My own D&D experience started with the box sets, as well, but like O'Mac posted: 3.5 is pretty nice; I love the depth of customization possible, balanced with the quick and easy style.[/mini hijack]

 

[Ebonyfire]

well somebody fucked - therefore you are




hee hee


I need more coffee

Must you be so literal?

Eb

 

[Shankara20]

Must you be so literal?

Eb

I must, I must


but only if I can make a bad joke...

 

[Shankara20]

Then there's the obvious answer....it's so damned much fun!

Anywho, any thoughts?


LNE

I feel alive as "myself" with tattoos and body piercing. I like the fit and feel and look of my lace panties and butch haircut. I want to paint my fingernails because of the expression of color, but don't for the same reason I do not go out in my skirts and blouses, I choose to abide by the local norm to keep my work.

I play with BDSM because it is fun, and challenging and body-centric and I am an adrenaline junky and a control freak.

I play with men because it makes my dick hard and I always want more. I play with women because I like the way they look and feel and taste and move and giggle.

The kink community is the only place I feel truly fully myself. And when they say "welcome home" as we greet I often want to cry.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I must, I must


but only if I can make a bad joke...

ROTFL

Eb

 

[jadefirefly]

Because I want to.

Just like I want to make music, and art, and beautiful photographs. Like I want to read sci-fi, and case files on serial killers, and Lit boards. Like I enjoy watching british comedy and making small children laugh every day.

I don't really make a concious decision to do something that I like. I just like things. Like purple, and hello kitty, and sparkly things.

When it all comes down to it, I want to submit. I enjoy it. I feel good when I do it. I feel off-balance and fake when I try to do otherwise.

*shrug* I dunno, I don't get philosophical very well. I just do, or I don't.

 

[agibean]

I think you've nailed it for many

Because I want to.

*shrug* I dunno, I don't get philosophical very well. I just do, or I don't.

Like you, my submission, and my Husband's dominance, are part of who we are. It isn't because one or both of us were abused, or to thumb our noses at society-it just IS. It seems simplistic, but that's really all there is to it.

 

[Rebellious_Sub]

This isn't really something that I would *choose* perse, but I do because it is the total, unbound *grin* expression of what I feel, my base need to serve, a desire to be desired, ravaged and *kept* so to speak... It is at the base of what I find as a sexual stimulus.. I don't really have the words beyond a NEED to be submissive, which is only fulfilled when I am being submissive to the right Master. I know that for myself, it is not because I wish to be different, but actually wish to be myself.


And I suppose in the expression of these needs, it actually sets me free, allowing me to feel more joy than I would if I were to attempt to restrict myself to vanilla relationships.

 

[Private_Label]

But seriously, think about it...why do you do it?

Because I discovered that certain types of humiliation turn me on and burn me up.

 

[malinborn]

I have seen and read a lot of replies here and had discussion on this topic not too long ago with a gaming friend of mine on why some people do what they do...

A friend of mine in Texas whom I have known for 14 years does things for shock value... she will tell you otherwise, but the truth of it is, she is very much into doing something for the sake of the reactions of others, or shocking the neighborhood, and to me that simply seems a bit fake... and she and I have gotten into more then one discussion on this matter.

My gaming friend from a desert state, who is Not Jade but shares her idea, does it for the sake of it is what she enjoys, doesn't give a witches tit wether it shocks or not, but it's because of who she is.. what she is which of course to me seems like the reason to do it.

I'm not saying any one reason is wrong or bad, just noted the similarity in the question.

 

[O'Mac]

A friend of mine in Texas whom I have known for 14 years does things for shock value... she will tell you otherwise, but the truth of it is, she is very much into doing something for the sake of the reactions of others, or shocking the neighborhood, and to me that simply seems a bit fake... and she and I have gotten into more then one discussion on this matter.

And these are the people I detest the most. I don't know exactly why it is, it's just so easy for me to get annoyed with people who are so damned...FAKE, I guess would be a good way of saying it. I see it all the time, and it angers me to know end. I mean, how does a person go on with their life like that? Always having to make sure they say the right thing or dress the right way or whatever. I mean, doesn't that just smack of too much effort? In any case, it's the epitome of FAKE to me. I know if they were my friend I would totally call them on it, but that's mostly because I like stirring trouble with my vocal indifference.