i just had an epiphany

[brioche]

i was just thinking, and a thought slipped into my head and clicked in a way that hasn't happened before...
Y'all know that i'm a teacher...and i teach little kids.
i work really hard and push myself every day to try and impart knowledge into their dense little brains...i mean REALLY hard. i am trying to teach a full Grade One curriculum to the ones, and Two to the twos, all at the same time...Most days i get home between 6 and 7, never mind what i spend my lunch hour and recesses doing...
i also have issues with food (like a lot of BDSMers) and i think that one of the reasons that i eat is to quell the feelings of inadequacy. i always feel that unless every kid is performing above expectations then i haven't done my job, which means that i am never satisfied with my performance.
Anyway, i was reaching for the Bugles to read with my book, which i had bought as a treat (the Bugles) when a little voice inside said, "The kids aren't going to do any better because you stuffed yourself."
So i didn't eat them.
Does this make sense? Can anyone relate? What do you use to fill that void?

 

[Marquis]

Once upon a time Marquis weighed 250 pounds.

I now weigh about 190, but I dropped down to a skin and bones 180 before I started to bulk up with muscle. So I figure since 2003 I lost about 70 pounds of fat and gained 10 pounds of muscle.

There are a zillion angles I could look at this from, all with their own uniquely convincing argument of why taking care of the only body God will ever give you is a smart thing to do. They are all meaningless. Even a child knows it's unhealthy to be obese. True understanding must come from within. All I will say is this.

I remember when I had that same epiphany. Go with it.

It will profoundly change your life.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Anyway, i was reaching for the Bugles to read with my book, which i had bought as a treat (the Bugles) when a little voice inside said, "The kids aren't going to do any better because you stuffed yourself."
So i didn't eat them.

Not trying to make light of a serious subject, but I had to read the above three times before I got that you weren't eating children. My fault, but it still made me giggle.

Anyway, I don't see anything wrong with filling voids, as long as you fill them with positive things. One of my vices when I was trying to get off *edited* sugar was exercise, for example, because I found the rush to be much similar. Maybe you could take up sunflower seeds or something that you have to work at to munch, and isn't so simple to manuveur while holding a book.

Good on you, though, for at least figuring out where the sources of your eating habbits are coming from. Many never achieve that level of self discovery.

 

[Private_Label]

Does this make sense? Can anyone relate? What do you use to fill that void?

Comfort food. There is a reason all the comic shows with female leads have at least one show devoted to women eating ice cream out of the container and gabbing.

Nothing like Comfort food when one is stressed. Happens to many people BDSM/Vanilla/Alternative/Whathaveyou...

For me comfort food is salty & carb related usually, but can also include Mint chocolate Chip or Vanilla ice cream.

I also have a bad habit of biting my fingernails - the more stress, the more I peel them off (thank goodness not down beyond where it meets the skin - so far).

 

[FurryFury]

Makes perfect sense to me! Good for you!

I sometimes do use food. Yet there is a certain satisfaction in NOT filling that empty place. I knowing you are deliberately feeling that empty ache because you made the choice to leave it like that. (Water and lots of it fill me up.)

Now a days I use a lot of chatting and writing though to fill me up in a strange sort of way. In the process my writing skills have improved. I'd done a lot of exploring and learned a LOT about myself! I also am down to the lowest weight I have been in years and my cuticles which I generally like to bite under stress are left virtually alone because I type so much. I'm getting to be a MUCH faster typist too!


Fury

 

[leanoir]

I also have a bad habit of biting my fingernails - the more stress, the more I peel them off (thank goodness not down beyond where it meets the skin - so far).

This is my bad habit. I eat comfort food too, but as I currently don't have any food, that's not a problem. But the fingernails. I bite them down as far as I can, and then pick off the rest. I can't open soda cans because I can't get anything under them. The thing I miss the most about not having fingernails is that I can't leave nice, red marks on my lovers....oh well.

You're ahead of the game by realizing what causes you do fill the void with food. The best advice has already been given, so I won't say anything else except good luck! You're doing amazing so far

 

[cinnamonstick]

Makes perfect sense. So many people use something bad for them to fill a void they have. Now that u see it the hard part is to change the behavior.

 

[Netzach]

Food was my drug. The starchier stickier and sweeter the better.

I never was more than borderline obese. I was never someone who really needed to go to OA and admit my eating was pathological. I wasn't hurting myself at all.

(yeah right)

I had to have the gastrointestinal equivalent of the heart attack to change my habits. For whatever reason, it seems to be holding and working. I notice most of all that my day doesn't revolve around food like it used to. I don't find myself looking forward to lunch at 9 am and dinner at 2 pm. I don't find myself thinking about recipies or how I'm going to reward myself with sugar throughout the day.

You have really noticed something important. Go with it and don't let go.

 

[brioche]

Thanks all, the replies really helped.

Unlike some convictions in the past, this one stayed with me when i got up this morning. But then, i've never thought of it in this way before, so why would it be the same?

i've always assumed my overeating came from stress or the lack of control i had in my life - i have NEVER ONCE even considered this angle at all.

i'm going to make a go of it - after all, i already own a gym membership and go to Weight Watchers - if i have anything to report i'll resurrect this thread - maybe being accountable will help too.

If anyone has any tips they'd like to give, go right ahead - right now i'm focusing on eating when hungry and adding tons of fruit and fiber to the mix. And of course the water - but i always have plenty of that.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Thanks all, the replies really helped.

Unlike some convictions in the past, this one stayed with me when i got up this morning. But then, i've never thought of it in this way before, so why would it be the same?

i've always assumed my overeating came from stress or the lack of control i had in my life - i have NEVER ONCE even considered this angle at all.

i'm going to make a go of it - after all, i already own a gym membership and go to Weight Watchers - if i have anything to report i'll resurrect this thread - maybe being accountable will help too.

If anyone has any tips they'd like to give, go right ahead - right now i'm focusing on eating when hungry and adding tons of fruit and fiber to the mix. And of course the water - but i always have plenty of that.

Careful not to over do it with the fruit... the natural sugar it contains can work for you, but also against you if taken in large quantities. Maybe throw some raw veggies into the mix if possible.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Congratulations, brioche! "Epiphany" sounds like just the right word...

3 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery b : a revealing scene or moment.

We'll all be pulling for you.

 

[brioche]

Congratulations, brioche! "Epiphany" sounds like just the right word...

3 a (1) : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery b : a revealing scene or moment.

We'll all be pulling for you.

Well of course it's the right word, i'm an Honours English Major.

Seriously though, thanks. And the fact that people are pulling for me does give me strength. It's also what's so great about this board.

As for the fruit, i meant tons of fruit for me - whenever i sent in my journal at WW to be checked (which you can do if you want) it came back "Eat more fruit and veggies," so that's what i'm doing. Substituting a pear for a chocolate or snack bar. But i am eating veggies too, i had a McDonald's Side Salad with low fat balsamic with my Lean Cuisine today. i keep meaning to buy balsamic or make it here, but never seem to find the time, so unless i want low fat italian dressing i pick up the McDonald's one. It's surprisingly good. Except for the grape tomatoes. i don't like tomatoes in my salad. Ugh.

i don't think i'm the only one with issues at the school. i had this bag of little chocolate bars at the school, which i hadn't eaten any of yet, so i took 3 for later occasions and put the rest in the staff room with "Enjoy!" and my name on them. i came back 10 minutes later and there was one left. This was during recess, not lunch - so only some of the staff even went in.

 

[sincerely_helene]

As for the fruit, i meant tons of fruit for me - whenever i sent in my journal at WW to be checked (which you can do if you want) it came back "Eat more fruit and veggies," so that's what i'm doing. Substituting a pear for a chocolate or snack bar. But i am eating veggies too, i had a McDonald's Side Salad with low fat balsamic with my Lean Cuisine today. i keep meaning to buy balsamic or make it here, but never seem to find the time, so unless i want low fat italian dressing i pick up the McDonald's one. It's surprisingly good. Except for the grape tomatoes. i don't like tomatoes in my salad. Ugh.

Yes, absolutely agree an apple or two subsituted for the daily chocolate bar can do wonders. Where I live, we have a place that sells sugarless low fat chocolate sauce that is wonderful to dip into with fresh strawberries or cherries. YUMMMM!

Good luck to you!

 

[FurryFury]

Just a few thoughts:

Salads not withstanding, I think fast food should mostly be called fat food. A lot of my buddies eat it almost every day. It's simply not healthy. As boring as it might be to bring something from home, it's usually cheaper and healthier. Besides if food is boring, that takes away from the motivation to actually spending time with it.

I love my own vinaigrette which is lemon juice (which I use on nearly everything anyway), Extra Virgin Olive oil (I'm telling you those olives never even thought about sex!) , and red wine vinegar.

When your water consumption is great than the consumption of all other liquids combined in a day, you know you will be on the right foot on liquids. Plus water is very filling.

I love stuff that feels filling but has few calories like water, watermelon and popcorn. You have to be careful with the popcorn though that it doesn't have too much stuff on it to up the calories.

Each time I have an urge to eat and I don't I consider a little victory.

Fury

 

[His_pita]

I have lost 36 lbs since the end of April. It's not easy that's for sure to change a lifetime of horrible eating habits. I do think having a plan and sticking to has been the key for me. Plus, kicking a two liter a day Pepsi addiction hasn’t hurt either.

I send my Dom my food diary every morning and my weight every Friday as part of my discipline to stick with it. Oh yeah, I also exercise 6 days a week. That one took a bit to get going on and I'm still waiting for the fun of it to kick in.

I also just quit smoking so I really have to fight the urge to eat now that I can't light up.

Gosh soon there won't be any bad habits in my life.

 

[Shadowedge]

I got a subscription to an organic farm cooperative last year for a couple months, and lost ten pounds of flab I picked up from being a sit on my ass student. Not much more than my usual excerice, (I walk to class, and take dance lessons once a week,) but all those vegetables!
The deal was that you would pay a flat fee up frount, about 500 $, and then for the whole growing season you would get a giant box of vegetables once a week. If you ask around a health food store you migt be able to find one in your area. It was awesome, because you also didn't have to grocery shop nearly as often.
Eating vegetarian at least most of the week was also a big help. My SO is also trying to lose weight, and cutting out red meat almost entirely helped a lot.
putting cumin or parmision cheese on the popcorn insted of butter helped, and I made lots of herb tea with no sugar, so I could drink something other than water all the time.
My mother freezes apple or grape juice into popciles, the kind with no added suger is best.

Good luck on your new quest,
I'm rooting for you.

 

[brioche]

Just a few thoughts:

Salads not withstanding, I think fast food should mostly be called fat food. A lot of my buddies eat it almost every day. It's simply not healthy. As boring as it might be to bring something from home, it's usually cheaper and healthier. Besides if food is boring, that takes away from the motivation to actually spending time with it.

I love my own vinaigrette which is lemon juice (which I use on nearly everything anyway), Extra Virgin Olive oil (I'm telling you those olives never even thought about sex!) , and red wine vinegar.

When your water consumption is great than the consumption of all other liquids combined in a day, you know you will be on the right foot on liquids. Plus water is very filling.

I love stuff that feels filling but has few calories like water, watermelon and popcorn. You have to be careful with the popcorn though that it doesn't have too much stuff on it to up the calories.

Each time I have an urge to eat and I don't I consider a little victory.

Fury

Yes, fast food is fat food, but i can tell you that when you go through McDonald's drive-through and order a side salad, a fruit and yogurt parfait, and apple slices they look at you a bit strangely. Hard to do, too. Most times i bring a sandwich or a Lean Cuisine, two water bottles, and some fruit. i also have Kellogg's Honey-Nut All Bran bars in my room.

If you get a really good butter flavoured spray, you can spray that on the popcorn instead of adding butter, or you can get Kernels low fat cheese popcorn, which adds, on average, 6 calories per cup to plain popcorn.

i drink 6 to 8 glasses of water every day, so that's good. After a few weeks you don't need to pee as much because your body starts to use it, and after a few months you crave water when you're thirsty. Really.