I just don't know what to think

[Desire_Girl]

For years now, I've always been the one in my marriage to bring up the topic of sex. He says he wants it and thinks about. But he never tells me he wants it. He says he has a million other things on his mind. I'm just tired of always bringing it up. Makes me feel unattractive.

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

Just take it from him! Grab his tally wacker by the balls and say, "This is mine bitch! Get it up or get out!"

 

[WoundedKnee]

Just take it from him! Grab his tally wacker by the balls and say, "This is mine bitch! Get it up or get out!"

That's a turn-on for what percent of the male population not in prison?

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

That's a turn-on for what percent of the male population not in prison?

Ask the expert known as RoryN.

Also, there's this:http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=89146906&postcount=27

 

[WoundedKnee]

lol...

 

[Libsam]

Grab em by the balls!!

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

lol...

I added lib as you were replying.

 

[FGB]

For years now, I've always been the one in my marriage to bring up the topic of sex. He says he wants it and thinks about. But he never tells me he wants it. He says he has a million other things on his mind. I'm just tired of always bringing it up. Makes me feel unattractive.

Sounds like he wants some ...Just not from you.

 

[Que]

I added lib as you were replying.

And Lib added:

Grab em by the balls!!

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Grab em by the balls!!

https://ayadeleon.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/trump-can-grab.jpg

 

[dolf]

Some people are more proactive than others. Take him as he is or leave him. Trying to change people to better suit you is fucked up.

 

[Saint Peter]

Be careful with my sack!

 

[Tryharder62]

For years now, I've always been the one in my marriage to bring up the topic of sex. He says he wants it and thinks about. But he never tells me he wants it. He says he has a million other things on his mind. I'm just tired of always bringing it up. Makes me feel unattractive.

Kind of curious about your age. Maybe he is having performance anxiety. (getting older?)

 

[IrezumiKiss]

He says he wants it and thinks about.

See, when I think about it, then I definitely want it. That's just not an issue to analyze.

I will never give someone mixed sigs about wanting to smash. When you want it, we're doing the thing.

 

[Hypoxia]

See, when I think about it, then I definitely want it. That's just not an issue to analyze.

I will never give someone mixed sigs about wanting to smash. When you want it, we're doing the thing.

It's your thing; do what you wanna do.
I can't tell you who to sock it to.

EDIT: If Regis Toomey becomes an electrician, is he Socket Toomey?

 

[Jada59]

Could be a variety of things. Does he have any medical conditions? Take any prescription meds? These things can cause problems. Perhaps he needs to see a Dr. and mention the lack of sex drive. Then again, he's a guy so he likely won't. Could even be something like low testosterone, depression or anxiety.

Or maybe he just has a really low sex drive naturally. Some guys actually do. Or maybe for whatever reason, he dislikes sex. My ex did. Yep. They are out there.

 

[jaF0]

I've seen women who can't get a guy to touch the because they're all so intimidated by how screaming hot she is.

Or how hot it is and how much she screams.

It's one of those two.

I get them confused sometimes.

 

[Que]

Mismatched libidos is God's cruelest joke.

 

[Hipshot1554]

For years now, I've always been the one in my marriage to bring up the topic of sex. He says he wants it and thinks about. But he never tells me he wants it. He says he has a million other things on his mind. I'm just tired of always bringing it up. Makes me feel unattractive.

Do something to shake him up. Send him a suggestive text, maybe a pic too. Let him know you're thinking about sex. Communication is what makes things good. Create some anticipation.

 

[Amoebah]

Is he Catholic?

If so, try him on Friday.

 

[bellisarius]

Some people are more proactive than others. Take him as he is or leave him. Trying to change people to better suit you is fucked up.

Probably the best advice you're going to get in this forum.

 

[Rightguide]

Some people are more proactive than others. Take him as he is or leave him. Trying to change people to better suit you is fucked up.

There ya go, wisest words so far.

 

[Libsam]

Maybe grabbing him by the balls isn't the right approach.

If he's got a lot on his mind, then maybe he needs a lap to lay his head in?

Caress him down!

 

[ThatsTheGuy]

Does he have a catheter? That's important.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Could be a variety of things. Does he have any medical conditions? Take any prescription meds? These things can cause problems. Perhaps he needs to see a Dr. and mention the lack of sex drive. Then again, he's a guy so he likely won't. Could even be something like low testosterone, depression or anxiety.

Or maybe he just has a really low sex drive naturally. Some guys actually do. Or maybe for whatever reason, he dislikes sex. My ex did. Yep. They are out there.

Do something to shake him up. Send him a suggestive text, maybe a pic too. Let him know you're thinking about sex. Communication is what makes things good. Create some anticipation.

Both of the above represent pretty good advice. But even they may be hitting around the edges of the core problem. And that could very well be the human nature of accentuating the negative in our lives rather than the positive. Here is a fairly good article on the subject (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-jain/negativity-bias_b_3517365.html.

People in relationships, both male and female, who want "more" or "better" sex don't know how to get it. And the glib answer is to display, represent, manifest or obviously BE the person your partner desperately wants to have sex with. The person your husband is thinking about when HE says he wants it and is thinking about it.

So maybe you ARE "unattractive," and by that I don't mean physically or that your undesirable traits outweigh your positive ones. But if your husband is typical and the psychological theory in the above link is accurate, what might he (and you, for that matter) be focusing on? Namely what he/you doesn't have, to the exclusion of the good that surrounds you both every day? So, the trick is how to make it better.

And there are at least two things working against you to get what you want.

The first is, he isn't likely to tell you. None of us like to be criticized, and if we are at all "compassionate" (or maybe just self-protective), we are not quick to criticize others or say or do anything which appears critical -- particularly if we have already calculated (rightly or wrongly) that we are not going to get what we want. Most people don't like direct conflict (except on the internet where we can kick ass safely). In real life it is often better to just shut up, sulk, and not make waves.

Secondly, all relationships are imperfect and marriage relationships present ample opportunities for those imperfections to present themselves, particularly in response to the infinite challenges presented by kids, jobs, finances, health, etc. That's in large part why you (and perhaps he) are "unattractive." "Attractive" is the momentary appearance of someone else stripped, not only of their clothes displaying a marvelous figure, but of the harsh realities that would quickly make that marvelous figure insignificant.

So....being that sexy, stimulating person that your husband wants but that he probably won't tell you about perhaps because he doesn't believe you would seriously consider making those changes (or perhaps that you can't make because of the passage of time -- belly fat? Saggy tits?) is hard, and possibly futile, work.

Hard -- but possible -- work still gives you hope.

Work that is futile presents a different challenge -- fashioning an acceptable alternative reality despite the other unfortunate realities that have been imposed upon you. It's a different kind of hope, but people with irreversible health problems face this all the time.

In either instance, it won't be easy. Good luck.