I hereby ban...

[geronimo_appleby]

Throw Tony Blair off a building onto a trampoline.

Of course it'd be more satisfying without the trampoline, but that's how you bounce a hole.

The Earl

isn't that an asshole??

 

[TheEarl]

what about a wall to hang it from?

Don't be silly. Why would you want to hang a quarter of a battleship on a wall?

It looks so much better on the coat rack.

The Earl

 

[TheEarl]

I love the smell of Dadaism in the morning.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

what about a wall to hang it from?

Come on, work with me here. It would be possible, if you lived in a big old barn. With reinforced walls.

 

[Guest]

isn't that an asshole??

Oh, fuck!!! Baahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

*breathe*

ROFLMAO!!!

 

[Guest]

Don't be silly. Why would you want to hang a quarter of a battleship on a wall?

It looks so much better on the coat rack.

The Earl

I love a man with an eye for stylish design.

 

[Guest]

I love the smell of Dadaism in the morning.

The Earl

Me, too, but only if he washes regularly.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Come on, work with me here. It would be possible, if you lived in a big old barn. With reinforced walls.

big old barn? sort of like Mo Mowlem?

 

[wanderer2704]

do battleships 'hang'?

They float don't they? Quarter battleships might hang though because they wont float

 

[Guest]

big old barn? sort of like Mo Mowlem?

Ahhhh, now we're singing from the same song sheet.

(I was thinking more Anne Widdecome, but Mo works almost as well.)

 

[wanderer2704]

Don't be silly. Why would you want to hang a quarter of a battleship on a wall?

It looks so much better on the coat rack.

The Earl

Or possibly in an umbrella stand?

 

[Guest]

Or possibly in an umbrella stand?

That's just silly.

 

[wanderer2704]

Ahhhh, now we're singing from the same song sheet.

(I was thinking more Anne Widdecome, but Mo works almost as well.)

Now I'm worried I bet this is the first time those two have ever been mentioned on Lit!

 

[wanderer2704]

That's just silly.

Thanks!

Personally I have decided that I will stand my quarter battleship on the mantlepiece

 

[TheEarl]

Now I'm worried I bet this is the first time those two have ever been mentioned on Lit!

Gary watched as Kelly slid her miniskirt over her supple curves. 'I'll bet you could bounce a quarter of Anne Widdecombe off that arse,' he thought to himself.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Now I'm worried I bet this is the first time those two have ever been mentioned on Lit!

And if that inspires someone to write a Fanfic/Celeb story about those two in a lesbian embrace on the bow of a quarter of a battleship, I think I might just die laughing.

 

[Guest]

Thanks!

Personally I have decided that I will stand my quarter battleship on the mantlepiece

Very sensible of you, if I may say so!

Mine's going in the bathroom, on the little shelf next to the bath. Could be useful, if I get invaded while bathing.

 

[Guest]

Gary watched as Kelly slid her miniskirt over her supple curves. 'I'll bet you could bounce a quarter of Anne Widdecombe off that arse,' he thought to himself.

The Earl

*snort*

 

[TheEarl]

Thanks!

Personally I have decided that I will stand my quarter battleship on the mantlepiece

What're you going to stand your mantlepiece on?

Personally, I like my mantlepieces to rest on something solid and unyielding. Something you could bounce a battleship (or Mo Mowlam) off.

The North Sea ought to do the trick.

The Earl

 

[wanderer2704]

Very sensible of you, if I may say so!

Mine's going in the bathroom, on the little shelf next to the bath. Could be useful, if I get invaded while bathing.

Only if your quarter has some guns though!

 

[TheEarl]

Very sensible of you, if I may say so!

Mine's going in the bathroom, on the little shelf next to the bath. Could be useful, if I get invaded while bathing.

--- The enemy have deciphered our codes, sir
--- Damn, that was our last plan. Operation Aquatic Invasion aborted.
--- But sir, what are we going to do with 30 waterproof vibrators that sing 'You are my Sunshine'?

The Earl

 

[Guest]

What're you going to stand your mantlepiece on?

Personally, I like my mantlepieces to rest on something solid and unyielding. Something you could bounce a battleship (or Mo Mowlam) off.

The North Sea ought to do the trick.

The Earl

You want your mantlepiece to swim in the sea?!

I worry about you sometimes...

 

[TheEarl]

Only if your quarter has some guns though!

Who puts guns on a coin? That's taking the right to bear arms a little too seriously.

The Earl

 

[wanderer2704]

What're you going to stand your mantlepiece on?

Personally, I like my mantlepieces to rest on something solid and unyielding. Something you could bounce a battleship (or Mo Mowlam) off.

The North Sea ought to do the trick.

The Earl

Ahh glad to see you're thinking laterally here and really examining the problem.

Perhaps you could stand the mantlepiece on the battleship and then sit Mo Mowlam on the mantlepiece.

 

[TheEarl]

You want your mantlepiece to swim in the sea?!

I worry about you sometimes...

No! Of course not.

.
.
.

Mantlepieces can't swim! I want them to rest on the sea. Or maybe 3 milimetres above it, I haven't decided yet.

The Earl