Nite_
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2007
- Posts
- 23
I had these images in my head, so I just threw them out and put them in the paper. Well. Document. File. Whatever, you catch the drift.
The thing is, it doesn't really have anything but few paragraphs from the beginning and the end (and no, those doesn't even contain sex). I'm not really sure it can stand alone like this, because it might not make any sense, and I would like to include the missing chapters. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what to write between those lines...
So, if anyone's up to fillin in the missing parts, feel free.
(EDIT2: I probably should have clarified that I'm just looking for pointers/ideas of where to go with this, I'm not looking for someone to write it for me. At this point in time, I still want to write this myself, but that could change and then I'll post this again in a more appropriate place for that.)
I'll go ahead and post the whole thing here, it's only a 1000 words or so, have a go at it if you feel like that.
-- Story between these lines --
Stars
Chapter I: Fall
It was a cold fall morning, the wind was howling in the dim sunset. Brown leaves flew around the streets, empty of all life. A stray cat tried its best to avoid getting wet in the numerous puddles of dark water, mostly in vain. Although the breeze was strong, it smelled like the air hadn't moved for weeks, months. The world seemed dead, or at least dying fast. The sky was cloudy, all light was filtered through the gray haze of fog, smoke and pollution. A lonely broken neon sign blinked tirelessly in industrial green, trying to attract customers to some long past activity that didn't even exist anymore. The wind blew some old newspapers, dating back more than a year. The pages formed a sad cover for the tired cat that had given up and just lie there, waiting for the inevitable.
Further down the road, where a country road once transformed into the main street, there was a bridge. The murky waters below swirled and promised freezing endlessness to anyone trying to brave its waves or currents. A girl was standing on the edge of the bridge, hands spread out, eyes closed. Her spotted gray clothes were all too thin for the season, but that didn't really matter, as there were more holes than cloth in them anyway. She seemed, sad, for a lack of a better word. There was no tears or sobbing. Just general sadness towards the world in whole. As if there wasn't really point in going on. She was more like that cat in the gutter, than anything resembling a reasonable human being. Her long reddish hair was flowing freely in the freezing breeze.
The wind calmed down, the leaves descending towards the void that was the river. Back in the streets, the old magazines stopped stirring and an old ad about a toothpaste served as the final notice for a place where a lonely creatures road came to an end. Unknown to almost everyone, slowly the clouds parted and revealed a small part of the black night sky. A single star shone through the hole, its pure rays of light caressing the girl still standing on the bridge, her eyes yet to open. The red curls almost seemed to shone in deep gold color as the starlight flickered on them. Ever so slowly, the hole in the sky closed, the light was blocked and the world returned to dark state it was before. When the last ray of starlight faded, the girl let go. Of her worries, of her future, of her dreams. She forsake her fears, her angst, her hopes. As if guided by the cat's ghost, she leaned forward, hands still spread wide, and descended from her life, towards the jet black void. So slowly, she fell and fell, until she almost seemed like the star against the inky darkness. The distance seemed far longer than was possible, as if she would never hit the forgiving waves of freezing liquid.
The broken neon sign flickered one last time, and died.
Chapter II: Winter
A snow covered street had a single line of footprints. It was early in the morning.
Chapter III: Spring
Chapter IV: Summer
Chapter V: Another Fall
An autumn wind blew harshly. Dried paint flew from old ruins of a building. Brown soaked leaves scattered around the streets. A lonely cat walked along sidewalk, determined to find shelter from the unforgiving cold. The air smelled of winter, of the coming snow. A single green neon sign flickered to life in the dying light of the day. The breeze pushed clouds in the sky. Everything was under a gray haze. The world was on the bring of change. With a shuddering shrill, the wind downed an old newspaper stand and blew the pages in all directions. They covered a hole in a wall of a building, where a pair of glowing spots could be seen, warming the fur in the everlasting hum of a warm-water supply pipes.
A line of wet footprints led further down the road, to an intersection of the main street and an old country road, specifically to the bridge that ran over a deep river just before the intersection. A girl stood there, on the edge of the bridge, arms spread wide. Her long red hair danced in the hard autumn breeze. Her eyes were closed. The dark waters below curled like a poisonous black snake, ever after waiting for its prey. The girl was dressed in plain clothing, not much color in them any more.
The wind slowly died down, the clouds giving way to a small opening to the twilight world. A lonely star shone brightly in the black depths of the outer space. The starlight carefully touched every part of the girl, giving her hair a light golden tint when it flickered in the curls. In the city, the old neon light changed color to bright pink, making the old water pipes down the drain glow eerily red and lighting the curled cat therein. It purred within the warm embraces of the snaking pipelines. The hole in the sky grew slightly bigger, giving way to another star.
Another pair of footprints went to the same bridge. The girls stood there in silence, holding hands. Their golden-red and black hair intertwined with each other. Both girls' eyes were closed, they dreamed of the future, hoped for the world, didn't fear the angst. Slowly, the first girl took a pendant from around her neck and held it in front of her. The other girl grabbed her hands tightly around the first. Carefully, the first girl opened her hand and let go of the pendant. It fell, quickly, towards the inky darkness of the viper, instantly swallowed by the hungry waves. The girl turned around, gave a passionate kiss to the other girl, and stepped down from the edge.
Chapter VI: Epilogue, First Day of Winter.
The town was covered in thick layer of pure white snow. In the early morning sun, the surface of the snow was still mostly undisturbed. Two lines of footprints crisscrossed the streets and ended in front of a building. A warm light was cast down from its windows and a small cat contently purred behind a window. Behind a window, a couple of figures could be seen sitting in one chair, holding arms around each other, watching an old movie from a flickering TV-set.
The End.
-- Story between these lines --
Suggestions & Critique is also accepted, of course.
EDIT: So, I'm a sucker of happy endings, so sue me (And, the fact that I've just watched Imagine Me & You, Better Than Chocolate and I'm listening Keeper of the Stars really don't help in that 
)
The thing is, it doesn't really have anything but few paragraphs from the beginning and the end (and no, those doesn't even contain sex). I'm not really sure it can stand alone like this, because it might not make any sense, and I would like to include the missing chapters. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what to write between those lines...
So, if anyone's up to fillin in the missing parts, feel free.
(EDIT2: I probably should have clarified that I'm just looking for pointers/ideas of where to go with this, I'm not looking for someone to write it for me. At this point in time, I still want to write this myself, but that could change and then I'll post this again in a more appropriate place for that.)
I'll go ahead and post the whole thing here, it's only a 1000 words or so, have a go at it if you feel like that.
-- Story between these lines --
Stars
Chapter I: Fall
It was a cold fall morning, the wind was howling in the dim sunset. Brown leaves flew around the streets, empty of all life. A stray cat tried its best to avoid getting wet in the numerous puddles of dark water, mostly in vain. Although the breeze was strong, it smelled like the air hadn't moved for weeks, months. The world seemed dead, or at least dying fast. The sky was cloudy, all light was filtered through the gray haze of fog, smoke and pollution. A lonely broken neon sign blinked tirelessly in industrial green, trying to attract customers to some long past activity that didn't even exist anymore. The wind blew some old newspapers, dating back more than a year. The pages formed a sad cover for the tired cat that had given up and just lie there, waiting for the inevitable.
Further down the road, where a country road once transformed into the main street, there was a bridge. The murky waters below swirled and promised freezing endlessness to anyone trying to brave its waves or currents. A girl was standing on the edge of the bridge, hands spread out, eyes closed. Her spotted gray clothes were all too thin for the season, but that didn't really matter, as there were more holes than cloth in them anyway. She seemed, sad, for a lack of a better word. There was no tears or sobbing. Just general sadness towards the world in whole. As if there wasn't really point in going on. She was more like that cat in the gutter, than anything resembling a reasonable human being. Her long reddish hair was flowing freely in the freezing breeze.
The wind calmed down, the leaves descending towards the void that was the river. Back in the streets, the old magazines stopped stirring and an old ad about a toothpaste served as the final notice for a place where a lonely creatures road came to an end. Unknown to almost everyone, slowly the clouds parted and revealed a small part of the black night sky. A single star shone through the hole, its pure rays of light caressing the girl still standing on the bridge, her eyes yet to open. The red curls almost seemed to shone in deep gold color as the starlight flickered on them. Ever so slowly, the hole in the sky closed, the light was blocked and the world returned to dark state it was before. When the last ray of starlight faded, the girl let go. Of her worries, of her future, of her dreams. She forsake her fears, her angst, her hopes. As if guided by the cat's ghost, she leaned forward, hands still spread wide, and descended from her life, towards the jet black void. So slowly, she fell and fell, until she almost seemed like the star against the inky darkness. The distance seemed far longer than was possible, as if she would never hit the forgiving waves of freezing liquid.
The broken neon sign flickered one last time, and died.
Chapter II: Winter
A snow covered street had a single line of footprints. It was early in the morning.
Chapter III: Spring
Chapter IV: Summer
Chapter V: Another Fall
An autumn wind blew harshly. Dried paint flew from old ruins of a building. Brown soaked leaves scattered around the streets. A lonely cat walked along sidewalk, determined to find shelter from the unforgiving cold. The air smelled of winter, of the coming snow. A single green neon sign flickered to life in the dying light of the day. The breeze pushed clouds in the sky. Everything was under a gray haze. The world was on the bring of change. With a shuddering shrill, the wind downed an old newspaper stand and blew the pages in all directions. They covered a hole in a wall of a building, where a pair of glowing spots could be seen, warming the fur in the everlasting hum of a warm-water supply pipes.
A line of wet footprints led further down the road, to an intersection of the main street and an old country road, specifically to the bridge that ran over a deep river just before the intersection. A girl stood there, on the edge of the bridge, arms spread wide. Her long red hair danced in the hard autumn breeze. Her eyes were closed. The dark waters below curled like a poisonous black snake, ever after waiting for its prey. The girl was dressed in plain clothing, not much color in them any more.
The wind slowly died down, the clouds giving way to a small opening to the twilight world. A lonely star shone brightly in the black depths of the outer space. The starlight carefully touched every part of the girl, giving her hair a light golden tint when it flickered in the curls. In the city, the old neon light changed color to bright pink, making the old water pipes down the drain glow eerily red and lighting the curled cat therein. It purred within the warm embraces of the snaking pipelines. The hole in the sky grew slightly bigger, giving way to another star.
Another pair of footprints went to the same bridge. The girls stood there in silence, holding hands. Their golden-red and black hair intertwined with each other. Both girls' eyes were closed, they dreamed of the future, hoped for the world, didn't fear the angst. Slowly, the first girl took a pendant from around her neck and held it in front of her. The other girl grabbed her hands tightly around the first. Carefully, the first girl opened her hand and let go of the pendant. It fell, quickly, towards the inky darkness of the viper, instantly swallowed by the hungry waves. The girl turned around, gave a passionate kiss to the other girl, and stepped down from the edge.
Chapter VI: Epilogue, First Day of Winter.
The town was covered in thick layer of pure white snow. In the early morning sun, the surface of the snow was still mostly undisturbed. Two lines of footprints crisscrossed the streets and ended in front of a building. A warm light was cast down from its windows and a small cat contently purred behind a window. Behind a window, a couple of figures could be seen sitting in one chair, holding arms around each other, watching an old movie from a flickering TV-set.
The End.
-- Story between these lines --
Suggestions & Critique is also accepted, of course.
EDIT: So, I'm a sucker of happy endings, so sue me
(And, the fact that I've just watched Imagine Me & You, Better Than Chocolate and I'm listening Keeper of the Stars really don't help in that )
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