I have started taking baby steps

[Fmature2play]

Daily it seems like I am starting to realize that a part of me that was, isn't and a part of me that I didn't acknowledge, is. What I am referring to is my sexual and emotional wants and needs have turned almost 180*. I have not had a desire to be in a relationship of any type with a man for the last couple of years and now find myself not even wanting to have sex with a man either. It actually worries me. I guess because I cannot pin down when this happened nor can I rationalize why it has happened. I have never been the kind of woman that makes rash decisions or acts on impulse and I always have an answer for things that I feel or act on. I recently told two men that have been asking me out this very thing and a few more on here that I used to play with on occasion that I simply don't have the desire to be sexual with men anymore. I wish I could give a better answer other than I just don't. I am damn near 40 yrs old and am starting to feel like I am going thru my awkward teen years again where I can't seem to give a good answer for things I do. I am not second guessing my feelings but rather just wish I could explain them if only just to me.
edit: I am not even sure the purpose for this thread. Maybe it is breaking the ice for bigger steps to follow. Thanks for reading the musings of a confused gal.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Not surprising at all actually.

There are many, many, many gays and lesbians who took years to work past the societal, familiar and gender role restricts that they had been "brainwashed" with since birth.

To over come that is a pretty long row to hoe and takes time. This is especially true for women cuz both the pressures and our own emotional thought processes are more complex then men.

I'm not in any position to say if you are a transitioning lesbian or a sick of men bisexual, but there are a hell of a lot of gray haired baby dykes out there now days.

 

[hoodooman]

surprise!

I think I know from experience what you're experiencing. At first as a glimpse of something fleeting, like catching sight of a difference when we glance in a mirror...it plays on our minds...we're intrigued and in the sanctuary of a quiet moment we consider the possibility that we're not exactly what we thought ourselves to be...but perhaps something rather different, something more.

For me, it's transformative. Like finding out you're a butterfly when you thought you were just a caterpillar. Sort of...more a hybrid than just one thing.

 

[Etoile]

gray haired baby dykes

I love this!

 

[Fmature2play]

I am soooo not looking forward to the gray. It hasn't got me yet but prolly isn't too far away.