I have no sense of tense

[DSnow713]

Hello,

I'm new to writing fiction like this and I could use some help.

One of my posts has received a great many critique. One in particular jumps out at me because I know that I am bad at this. I have trouble staying in one tense (past, present, etc.) I write similar to how I speak and I tend to let me words wander and mix up.

I'd love a few tips on how to keep this under control or certain things to look out for. Any guidance from the pros would be helpful honestly. The link is at the bottom.

Thank you in advance,

D.Snow

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-assistant-8

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Hello,

I'm new to writing fiction like this and I could use some help.

One of my posts has received a great many critique. One in particular jumps out at me because I know that I am bad at this. I have trouble staying in one tense (past, present, etc.) I write similar to how I speak and I tend to let me words wander and mix up.

I'd love a few tips on how to keep this under control or certain things to look out for. Any guidance from the pros would be helpful honestly. The link is at the bottom.

Thank you in advance,

D.Snow

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-assistant-8

I remove auxillary verbs and helping verbs from my scribbles. I want verbs that toil and sweat, busy verbs keep tense in line.

 

[PennLady]

I just read your story, and have to agree about the tenses. One thing you need to recognize (and you're far from the only one) is that you don't write the way you talk. I'd think of it this way -- you're describing events that have already happened. They're in the past, so you should use past tense.

I think what may have started you down the tense-switching path is that you began in past tense, but when you started with "My name is Jack..." you went to present. I think in a first person story, you can get away with a quick switch like that with the introduction, but as you get back to the events in the story, you should resume writing in the past tense.

You also don't have to have the narrator introduce himself in that way. Another character could say the name, for example. Or in a story I wrote in first person (King's Bay), the narrator gives his name when asked by another character, a fair bit into the story.

And although this isn't necessarily a bad thing, I have to agree that the story was very rushed. I think you could have made this a little "deeper" if you'd waited a bit on the sex. Or it should have been in Erotic Couplings; those tend to be more the one-night-stand stories.

 

[sr71plt]

You can change tenses if the change is purposeful and doesn't get jumbled in the same passage. This isn't a "never to it" issue.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Get editorial help?

How about getting a friendly volunteer editor on board? Then you can write your stories however you like, get your story on the page without being distracted by worrying about tenses or other grammatical annoyances, and your editor will tidy it up for you.
xxx

 

[PennLady]

How about getting a friendly volunteer editor on board? Then you can write your stories however you like, get your story on the page without being distracted by worrying about tenses or other grammatical annoyances, and your editor will tidy it up for you.
xxx

This would depend a lot on the editor. I've edited for people, and although I don't mind fixing the odd wrong tense or misplaced comma or what have you, I'm not going to do it throughout the whole story. That's something the writer can do him or herself. You can write your first draft, perhaps, without worrying about tenses or spelling, but then you can go over it and fix those things yourself. Relying on someone else to actually make your story make sense is lazy.

This can and will no doubt get into a discussion of what an editor is, or should do, and all of that. I'd say that for non-professionals, there are different levels ranging from what we call a beta reader (someone who reads over a draft for content, continuity, etc.) to a copy editor, who deals with the mechanics of punctuation or spelling but not content. Whatever an editor is going to do can be worked out between the writer and editor, but if someone were to ask me, I'd tell them they need their basics in line first.

My feeling is if you're going to write, then you can take the time to learn the basics of spelling, grammar, punctuation, verb tense, etc. If you want me to read it, then you can take the time to make it readable.

 

[sr71plt]

How about getting a friendly volunteer editor on board? Then you can write your stories however you like, get your story on the page without being distracted by worrying about tenses or other grammatical annoyances, and your editor will tidy it up for you.
xxx

This isn't an editor's responsibility to a writer more than once.

Might be a good point to note that the author never gives up responsibility for her/his originated mistakes in publishing. If a mistake makes it through the editor and isn't something the editor caused, it's written up as an "author's error" (AE), and if there's a charge made down the road for having to fix too many of these in proof, the author gets the bill.

The editor isn't there to be an eternal crutch for the writer who never wants to bother learning.

(When I edit, though, I do correct for each instance all through the manuscript. And it's what takes up the most editing time and produces the highest editing bills.)

 

[NaokoSmith]

I think if an editor starts doing it for you and you follow their guidelines thoughtfully, you can learn how to do it properly from that praxis rather than people telling you The Rules on how to do it.
xxx

 

[PennLady]

I think if an editor starts doing it for you and you follow their guidelines thoughtfully, you can learn how to do it properly from that praxis rather than people telling you The Rules on how to do it.
xxx

Yes, but some, perhaps a lot of, writers don't do that. There are a number of people who -- extrapolating from my own experience -- want to write with no thought to any rules, and then want someone else to do all the grunt work of cleaning it up. I've had to tell a couple of people that I wouldn't edit for them any more b/c I didn't have the time to keep correcting the same things all the time.

Probably there should be some mix of learning The Rules, and learning from experience, and picking up advice from any editors or beta readers.

 

[DSnow713]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'll most certainly take them under advisement and try to keep it straight from now on. Also, it's not an excuse, but the story does come off as rushed to me too because I wrote it on my phone and not a computer :/ Furthermore, I know I used the wrong category, and kick myself in the head for it hahaha

 

[JackLuis]

Read your story aloud and that will help.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

How about getting a friendly volunteer editor on board? Then you can write your stories however you like, get your story on the page without being distracted by worrying about tenses or other grammatical annoyances, and your editor will tidy it up for you.
xxx

This is the worse advice I've ever heard of. Lets just give him a trophy while we're writing his story for him.

 

[SamScribble]

This is the worse advice I've ever heard of. Lets just give him a trophy while we're writing his story for him.

I’m with JBJ here. Tenses and ‘other grammatical annoyances’ are part of the business of writing. If you can’t tell a story coherently, engaging the reader and holding them until the very last carefully-chosen word, you’re not a writer.

 

[Handley_Page]

My feeling is if you're going to write, then you can take the time to learn the basics of spelling, grammar, punctuation, verb tense, etc. If you want me to read it, then you can take the time to make it readable.

Whilst most Authors here would, I think, give you any needful advice about writing in English, you might consider doing a bit of study by way of books on basic English from the library or wherever. A good dictionary will help a lot.

I’m with JBJ here. Tenses and ‘other grammatical annoyances’ are part of the business of writing. If you can’t tell a story coherently, engaging the reader and holding them until the very last carefully-chosen word, you’re not a writer.

We might all try and do just that, but it ain't often we succeed for one reason or another.


Lastly, try using the proper tools for the job; a Computer, for example.
The modern mobile phone is not a suitable tool for writing a story.
You'd be better off with a pencil and a notepad.

 

[TimothyM]

You can change tenses if the change is purposeful and doesn't get jumbled in the same passage. This isn't a "never to it" issue.

I agree that a delibrate change of tense can be very effective as a tool to heighten story suspense or give intensity to the plot development. But if it's due to sloppy writing it pisses me off, just like glaring mistakes in spelling and grammar.

And no this is not something you leave to some poor editor, and especially not time and time again. Like PennLady said, writers who do that will soon find themselves without anyone willing to help them with editing

So take the advice of most people here (especially PL and SR) and read each of your stories carefully several times to catch these things.

 

[NaokoSmith]

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'll most certainly take them under advisement and try to keep it straight from now on. Also, it's not an excuse, but the story does come off as rushed to me too because I wrote it on my phone and not a computer :/ Furthermore, I know I used the wrong category, and kick myself in the head for it hahaha

Did you write it in txt spk or predictive! . I think it must be difficult to write coherently when you can only see a tiny bit of the story on the screen as you're writing.
Something I sometimes suggest to students is that they read some really good writing as that influences their writing style. I suggest Jane Austen to my students. As you publish in Romance perhaps you already enjoy her stories even if they are a bit lacking in action.
xxx

 

[DeeZire]

Have you considered using Arizona Governor Jan Brewer as a character in one of your stories? She's not too good at tense either. The is the opening statement from her televised debate before the 2010 election:

"I have, uh, done so much and I just cannot believe that we have changed everything since I have become your governor in the last 600 days," she said before pausing for 10 seconds, staring blankly down at her papers, and laughing nervously. Finally, she mustered, "We have did what was right for Arizona."

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Before you create a modern art masterpiece master the basics, hitch your horse to the front of the cart.

 

[SamScribble]

We might all try and do just that, but it ain't often we succeed for one reason or another.

My point, HP, was not that when we fail we should give up. My point was that when we fail we should knuckle down and work on our skills. Leaving it up to an editor, treating the editor as a ghost writer, moves us from being a would-be writer to simply being a commissioning patron.

 

[Handley_Page]

Have you considered using Arizona Governor Jan Brewer as a character in one of your stories? She's not too good at tense either. The is the opening statement from her televised debate before the 2010 election:

"I have, uh, done so much and I just cannot believe that we have changed everything since I have become your governor in the last 600 days," she said before pausing for 10 seconds, staring blankly down at her papers, and laughing nervously. Finally, she mustered, "We have did what was right for Arizona."

What an absolute gem. To be fair, though, nerves can be a terrible thing (even after 600 days at the job).

My point, HP, was not that when we fail we should give up. My point was that when we fail we should knuckle down and work on our skills. Leaving it up to an editor, treating the editor as a ghost writer, moves us from being a would-be writer to simply being a commissioning patron.

I am in full accord with that, Sam.

 

[DeeZire]

What an absolute gem. To be fair, though, nerves can be a terrible thing (even after 600 days at the job)....

Ignorance can also be a terrible thing. She's dumb as a post, and those familiar with the political scene in Phoenix say she has a drinking problem. You may remember the photo of the blonde old bat sticking her finger in Obama's face. I'm sure she was walking around later, telling her entourage "did you see what I have did to the president?"

 

[DSnow713]

Did you write it in txt spk or predictive! . I think it must be difficult to write coherently when you can only see a tiny bit of the story on the screen as you're writing.
Something I sometimes suggest to students is that they read some really good writing as that influences their writing style. I suggest Jane Austen to my students. As you publish in Romance perhaps you already enjoy her stories even if they are a bit lacking in action.
xxx

It was predictive. I started with a story about my wife and I on my phone and she enjoyed it so much that she encouraged me to share with others. I passed it around and everyone seemed to enjoy it and then asked for more. Since I was couch crashing at the time (family emergency brought me back to the US) I only had my phone to write on. My thumb did hurt from all the scrolling up and down while writing it lol.

Honestly I'm more of a Sci-Fi reader and have not spent any time reading anything in this category. My wife read 50 Shades and shared some of the more interesting parts with me but that's about the extent of my "erotic lit" involvement

 

[Handley_Page]

My thumb did hurt from all the scrolling up and down while writing it.

Honestly I'm more of a Sci-Fi reader and have not spent any time reading anything in this category. My wife read 50 Shades and shared some of the more interesting parts with me but that's about the extent of my "erotic lit" involvement

I suggest you both read some of the stories on this board. You should get a good feel for the pace and different styles so you know what your 'target' is.

And I sincerely hope that the 'family emergency' has satisfactorily resolved itself.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My point, HP, was not that when we fail we should give up. My point was that when we fail we should knuckle down and work on our skills. Leaving it up to an editor, treating the editor as a ghost writer, moves us from being a would-be writer to simply being a commissioning patron.

I use failure as a motivator to learn from. In failure you sometimes discover something new no one else knows about. It accounts for plenty of our modern discoveries.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I’m with JBJ here. Tenses and ‘other grammatical annoyances’ are part of the business of writing. If you can’t tell a story coherently, engaging the reader and holding them until the very last carefully-chosen word, you’re not a writer.

ObEdison: "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration". Unfortunately I see a few writers around who think that if they can supply the first 1% they can outsource the remaining 99% to an editor or co-author.