i had that dream again last night

[amelia]

the one about the little kid i couldn't save...


john was an adorable blonde haired boy with the biggest brown eyes. he loved to play in the block center and he always had a kind word for his friends and for me. he was one of those little kids that could melt your heart and make you laugh. i taught him during the year he was 3. he didn't finish his year with me because something horrible happened to him.

john was killed by his mom's boyfriend. john wanted to play and his mom was in the shower so he asked the boyfriend to play with him. i don't know if the boyfriend was on drugs or why he thought this was the thing to do. but he beat my sweet little john to death. imagine being john's mom...getting out of the shower and finding your little boy dead.

this happened a few years ago..but every now and then i still have this dream where i'm holding john as he crys and telling him that everything is going to be ok...it's a horrible heart wrenching dream, but i'm sure it doesn't even begin to compare to the ones john's mom has.

*i changed the little boys name b/c...well..i just did

 

[alltherage]

cant imagine it. are you a mom. god you must wake in a horrible state.

 

[Bindii]

Oh what an awful thing....

Please don't blame yourself though Amelia.

 

[RawHumor]

OMG Wow, hon, that's just awful. I'm so sorry.

Do you know what happened to the guy?

 

[sexy-girl]

im sorry amelia that sounds very hard and a very tragic story

 

[amelia]

ATR: no..i'm not a mom, but..i've worked with kids for the last 11 years in one way or another. teachers make heart connections with kids that are very strong.

Bindii: i don't blame myself, there was nothing i could have done..it just tears my heart out.

RH: the guy was found guilty and i'm sure he's still in jail..this is texas..so..if i remember right, he got the death penalty.

SG: it was a tragedy..i hope i never have to experience anything like it again

 

[RawHumor]

Let me know if you need a shoulder or whatever, sweetie. PM me if you'd like.

 

[Guest]

 

[Bindii]

Bindii: i don't blame myself, there was nothing i could have done..it just tears my heart out.

Thats good, I was just a little concerned when you said 'The kid I couldn't save'.

I once watched a house burn to the ground with two little boys in it, I stood crying, helpless, with other neighbours. We had to hold the mother of the children back to stop her from entering the house, it was beyond hope. These are the boys that I couldn't save. A memory that will haunt me beyond the grave. It took me a long to time to realise that I did the right thing, I can't save everybody.

You are such a loving, caring person Amelia. No wonder you suffer these dreams. Be consoled that the poor boy lived a better life for having known you.

 

[CarolineOh]

Amelia, and Bindii, these things haunt you because you have such loving souls. There is not an ounce of callousness in either of you.
My heart goes out to you both.

 

[Guest]

I'm sorry, Amelia. You are such a giving and loving spirit. I am sure anyone that comes within your light is forever changed.

 

[guser]

kids are our future........not a nice feeling at all.....a hug for you!!

To find out what the dream means goto www.bored.com there u will find a dream translator...make you feel better I'm sure

guser

 

[cg_allstar]

ATR: no..i'm not a mom, but..i've worked with kids for the last 11 years in one way or another. teachers make heart connections with kids that are very strong.
*snip*

This can be the best and worst part of being a teacher. There are so many great kids and it can make you so happy to be doing what you're doing. Then there are so many great kids that have just great heaping piles of shit in their lives. It just doesn't seem fair and there's nothing you can do about it a lot of the time.

 

[Shysky99]

I'm so sorry you have such horrid, dreams... There's nothing to replace those feelings you had of that child... But someday I hope they will lessen!-

 

[amelia]

This can be the best and worst part of being a teacher. There are so many great kids and it can make you so happy to be doing what you're doing. Then there are so many great kids that have just great heaping piles of shit in their lives. It just doesn't seem fair and there's nothing you can do about it a lot of the time.

you're right! teachers changed my life and i want to be a positive person in the lives of the kids i teach. i have such a soft spot for kids and animals...

i'm feeling better now...i have this dream about once or twice a month..and i always feel so weird when i wake up...like there is still time to do something

:hugs and kisses: to everyone.