I Got this e-mail today

grrrrrl

Literotica Guru
Joined
Dec 20, 2005
Posts
799
How To Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct:


1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.


2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.


3. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.


4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.


5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.


6. She does not get DRUNK - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.


7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.


8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.


9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.


10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.


11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.


12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.


How To Speak About Men And Be Politically Correct:


1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.


2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.


3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.


4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.


5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.


6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.


7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.


8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.


9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
 
I like the rectal/cranial inversion. We see that a lot in here.
 
grrrrrl said:
How To Speak About Women And Be Politically Correct:


1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED CITIZEN.


2. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.


3. She is not BLONDE - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.


4. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is A PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.


5. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.


6. She does not get DRUNK - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.


7. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.


8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.


9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.


10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.


11. She does not have PREMIER LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.


12. She is not a TWO-BIT SLAPPER - She is a LOW COST SERVICE PROVIDER.


How To Speak About Men And Be Politically Correct:


1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID STORAGE FACILITY.


2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.


3. He does not GET LOST - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.


4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.


5. He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He is GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL.


6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.


7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION.


8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.


9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

That is funny chick
 
New College Courses for Women

1. Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.

2. The undiscovered side of Banking: How to make deposits.

3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You don't need new shoes everyday.

4. Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.

5. Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.

6. An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.

7. Man Management: Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.

8. Personal Space: Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.

9. Valuation: Just because it's not important to you.

10. Communication Skills I: Tears as the last resort and not the first.

11. Communication Skills II: How to think before speaking.

12. What he really wants: Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.

13. Driving a car safely: A skill you can also acquire.

14. Real women drink their share at a party.

15. Telephones: How to hang up.

16. Parking: Beginners Course.

17. Parking (Advanced): Reversing into a parking space.

18. The Natural Habitat of the Towel: Why they prefer the floor.

19. Managing your weight: Its not water retention - its fat.

20. Learning to cook I: Bran is not food.

21. Learning to cook II: Bringing back bacon and eggs.

22. Compliments: How to accept them gracefully.

23. PMS: Your problem - not his.
 
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