I find the distinction between "oldies" and "newbies" to be ridiculous and divis

[FlamingoBlue]

I find the distinction between "oldies" and "newbies" to be ridiculous and devis

Yesterday, I go this pm from a "newbie" in response to one that I had sent. In it I was told that I was the first "oldie" that had ever sent a pm to that person. I have also noticed a disturbing trend on the BB which smacks of classism, ie. "oldies" v "newbies".

As I see it, here on the BB, where economics plays no role at all, the need to create a caste system based on the length of time we are on the BB is elitist and unnecessary. I say that our words and ideas are what should distinguish us from each other rather than the date we came on board.

And so it goes.

blue

 

[MissTaken]

Here! Here!

End the dissension among the ranks!

We all play a role on lit. We need no monikers to segregate us.

Essentially, my feeling is that people are either intelligent, inquisitive, sensual, witty and fun to be with or they are not, regardless of months on the board or number of posts.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Humans are pack animals. Though generally primates are known to gather in "troops" not "packs," "herds," or "pods."

We pack up for safety. We do the ol' "Us" and "Them" thing. "Newbies" against those oldies. "Regulars" against those new people. We clique up. It's in the gut of humanity.

Intellect versus instinct. Which wins? Do you follow what your gut is telling you? What feels natural? Or what is a more intelligent thing to do? Which wins, your intellect or your instinct?

Not intellect. The board has proven this several times over.

It happens. The key to undermining this instinctual behavior doesn't lie in calling it absurd lets all be friends. The key is be gregarious and friendly. Socialize. Become friends.

There will always be Newbies vs. Regulars because this board is dynamic and changing. Faces come and faces go. Emotional, instinctual reaction is divisive, but it is powerful and everyone heeds it.

Rather than that, each individual must check their own behavior and reactions rather than those of everyone else. Individuals create their own packs through relationship and feelings of security. It is simpler to keep to ones pack rather than try to be a part of the society as a whole, is it not?

PMing, emailing, off board chatting re-enforces this. There is nothing wrong with it, but it does so. I am not a PM'er, emailer, or IM'er. I don't initiate these conversations and I have a bad habit of letting them lapse once they've begun. Does this make me unfriendly, unapproachable, and aloof because I prefer my board discussion to be on the board? Not necessarily, but in the instinctual reaction it makes me seem unattainable and a bit snobby.

I find it rather difficult to wade through some threads because the participants are carrying on the conversation on different levels that I don't always understand. People PM each other about me at times. People PM each other about everyone and gossip.

Cliques happen. Humans are pack animals. We claim to be lofty above our primate brethern, but really we're just social groomers eating a different sort of nit.

It will not go away and I think it's unreasonable to expect that it will.

 

[Scabbers]

Donkeys are pack animals.

Humans are pack animals

I'll snuggle with the other peas in the pod.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Very well said KM I for one could never belong to a clique.

I hop around to much. Though there are several that I've become friends with and post with. Both online and off. I guess I'm social like that. This is a great place and I try to meet newbies, as well as the older posters. That's part of the fun. Can one have too many friends? I don't think so. Just as long as we understand why we are all here is more important I think. Have fun posting.

KM I think I have a crush on you also. Damn!! I've got to stop this. lol



kgboot

 

[juicylips]

Re: Donkeys are pack animals.

I'll snuggle with the other peas in the pod.

I hope I am one of those peas

Cassidy

 

[pabloback]

there are a number of tribes on the board. many of them looking for reassurance from each other , examples of which are all the hugs and kissy type threads looking for validation from each other .

 

[Cath!]

there are a number of tribes on the board. many of them looking for reassurance from each other , examples of which are all the hugs and kissy type threads looking for validation from each other .

I resemble that remark! Now, hug me and kiss me!

And, blue...I said this same thing.

 

[Fly_On_Wall]

Newbie oldie who gives a shit, I'm the all time stalker that's all that matters right?

new or old I'll stalk you.







I SEE YOU

 

[FlamingoBlue]

KM, I never said that we should all be=>

friends. That's not my belief, here or any place else. I reserve the right to like or dislike any person for whatever reason I please, so long as it fits in with my value system. The length of time someone is here does not equate to a valid reason for me to judge another person or their ideas.

I appreciate your opinion on this issue. I just don't agree with it.


blue

 

[daughter]

those we're drawn to

Rather than that, each individual must check their own behavior and reactions rather than those of everyone else.

***Ain't that the truth. Correcting and monitoring my own behavior is a full-time job. LOL

PMing, emailing, off board chatting re-enforces this. There is nothing wrong with it, but it does so. I am not a PM'er, emailer, or IM'er. I don't initiate these conversations and I have a bad habit of letting them lapse once they've begun. Does this make me unfriendly, unapproachable, and aloof because I prefer my board discussion to be on the board? Not necessarily, but in the instinctual reaction it makes me seem unattainable and a bit snobby.

We get along well partly because we think alike. We do gravitate to those who are either like us or possess traits we admire. I don't think you're unfriendly, unapproachabel nor aloof. Like you most of my interaction is on the board. That's why I'm here. I enjoy public interaction. I initiate and reply to private correspondence, but in most instances, it has originated because of public commentary. So you're a snob. I can think of worse. Scoot over.

I find it rather difficult to wade through some threads because the participants are carrying on the conversation on different levels that I don't always understand.

Same here. Glad to hear you say it. Some of the threads are fairly personal. And since I don't know the participants well, I don't join in. It's akin to interrupting a private conversation. I always thought that was rude.


KillerMuffin, what I like you most about you is that you are honest and forthright. I prefer to know where I stand with folk. So my friends and peers call me on the carpet from time to time, so we sometimes disagree and have different views, so what. As long as our relationship is rooted in mutual respect and integrity, I can deal.

I wanted to interact with my peers. In terms of writing, you have been one of the most valuable resources I've come across here. When you're not cussin' folks out, you're doling out quite an education. Appreciate it.

Peace,

daughter

 

[MissTaken]

Hugs and kisses

Pucker Up Cath!

*MUAH*

 

[Styphon]

I couldn't care less who is a "newbie" and who is an "oldie" - the terms are meaningless labels. I posted my first BB message about 20 years ago, so someone who has posted here for a mere five years or so doesn't automatically impress me at all

I read posts having based my selection on the title itself, which must interest me (and it also must be spelt correctly - picky, but what the hell), but I never read posts on the basis of who the author is. I never PM, either, mainly because it doesn't interest me, and I think the majority of people here feel the same. I very much doubt that the aether is buzzing with PM's at any time, so don't feel left out that you aren't getting any!

It amuses me that one or two people seem to consider themselves superior (or that other people THINK they are superior) just because of the number of posts under their names Most posts are pure drivel, posted solely to boost the total they currently have and to promote their "Lit" alias amongst their "peers". This is true of so-called newbies AND oldies. I much prefer people who make a post because they have something to say, rather than just to get a shiny avatar as fast as possible. Sadly, this seems to be the be-all-and-end-all of a lot of new people to the board, as if it matters!

Just post, read other messages and enjoy it


Styphon

 

[KillerMuffin]

So, Blue, you think humans are above instinct? How do we not "us" and "them" each other? We are not pack animals and we don't feel more secure in groups? I don't understand what you disagree with.

The let's all be friends isn't you, per se, but it's a refrain that's echoed here recently.

The distinction is, you're right about that, ridiculous and divise. I submit that it will never go away either. It is my thought that for as long as the board is active there will always be a distinction between newbies and oldies. I don't think we can ever overcome it.


Daughter, I think of you as my fellow bastion of tactless sanity.

 

[daughter]

popularity is overrated

KillerM--

You know who's gotcha back.

Peace,

daughter

 

[bluntforcemama]

Economics are a part of life. It happens, no matter how much you try to prevent it. I see it as the people who are used to this place trying to feel out some of the members they don't know yet, and for those fledglings, they're trying to feel us out, too. It was that way when I was a newbie, it still seems to be that way, but I'm not going to go out of my way to find a distinction, or lack there of.

 

[pabloback]

it never ceases to amaze me the number of people that preach about ethics and values and right and wrong and then go off and do the exact opposite of what they proudly stand up and claim to believe in. this is a product of peer pressure to conform to the accepted norms and to be "accepted"
i tend to steer clear of these practices and go off on my own tangent . touching on the edge but then steering my own path , similar to both km and blue but in different ways .
the benefit of being outside the peergroup is the ability to stand back and see the larger picture

 

[p_p_man]

there are a number of tribes on the board. many of them looking for reassurance from each other , examples of which are all the hugs and kissy type threads looking for validation from each other .

Jesus! I'm agreeing with you again...

And for a while their I thought we'd both regained our own independence...

No Procreation Without Validation!

 

[koalabear]

p_p_man agrees!

*fainting*

 

[pabloback]

Jesus! I'm agreeing with you again...

And for a while their I thought we'd both regained our own independence...

No Procreation Without Validation!

dont you just hate it when i am right

 

[FlamingoBlue]

KM,if humans were beyond instinct, then>

men wouldn't look at women's breasts all the time. I have never been one to go along with the crowd. I find cliques a way to make insecure people feel more secure. The fact that they'll never go away does not mean that I can't rant about it. I mean, those kinds of things have never stopped you.

As for your unwillingness to use pm's or email to communicate, I find it a useful tool, especially when I want to speak privately to someone else. Unlike you, I do not hold all my conversations in public.

Life is all about choices. I choose one thing; you choose another. As long as your choices do not lead to personal conflict with me, I'm a happy camper.

Happy New Year, KM. May your presence and your message next year be as valuable as it always has been. As I have said before, I admire your intellect and your wit.

blue

 

[alltherage]

I hate labels and groups make me nervous. I cannot even explain why I like this place so much. I suspect its ego. I get to speak as I please, and hear what others think. I have a few friends here and that is a good thing. I did not come expecting to find friends. I am contented to be a part of the larger community here and I don't concern myself with how others define me.

KM as always you have cut through all the crapola. Is it possibel to have a crush on a mind. If so, I have one on yours.

 

[daughter]

too paraphrase plasticman33, "Are you taking yourself

too seriously

Originally posted by pabloback
i tend to steer clear of these practices and go off on my own tangent . touching on the edge but then steering my own path

.

You're crooning the adolescent's theme song and you want to condemn other folks beliefs and actions? LMAO

the benefit of being outside the peergroup is the ability to stand back and see the larger picture

Stand back quick. Wanna borrow my glasses?

See, I do laugh. You just have to say something funny.

Peace,

daughter

 

[perks]

shining my spiffy new avatar and saying whatever the fuck I want.....and if it is just jokes and drivel to you....doesn't matter....cause It means that I'm relaxing and putting my brain on hold from an intense day. I might bless you with a portion of my intellect, but the majority will have to earn it, until then...keep thinking I'm a bit of fluff...it amuses me.

just being
perky

 

[cymbidia]

Why do we keep discussing this over and over and over?

Humans are gregarious, social animals who evolved from other gregarious, social animals. In all human societies, for all time (that we can tell via archeological means), humans have practiced some kinda us vs them social heirarchy.

It's in our DNA, guys.

All those we don't know are percieved as them until we get to know them and to know they're not hgoing to kill us for our worldly possessions and steal the women and salt our fields.

Oh.
We have no worldly possessions here?

Yes, well, this is a new kinda human community, too. We haven't eveoled to respond physiologically to a commuity in which we have nothing that can be taken from us, nothing that needs defending. We're still working on the old model, the one honed and refined by the millions of years it took to get from an ameoba to the other lump of ectoplasm, the one sitting in front of your monitor and guiding your mouse.

We still see the world in terms of us vs. them and may always.

Newbies are simply people who are not us yet.
When they become us then we stop smiling carefully at them and begin smiling fully with them.

This is a non-issue.

Humans are gregarious, social animals - and we form kinship groups. Someone new is someone new until they become one of us, then they're not new. If they seem to be like us, then we welcome them, we're polite and caring, and very soon they're no longer new.

There's nothing to argue here.
No changes that *can* be made, or even should be made.
Biology is biology, physiology is physiology, social animals are social animals.
Period.