I don't do many BDSM stories

[gunhilltrain]

Those that I have written seem to have been reasonably well accepted. This one, which will be near the end of the series, hasn't done very well nor has it gotten much attention. So far there are no comments about it.

https://classic.literotica.com/s/the-unexpected-girlfriend-ch-06

The few femdom stories I've done usually have the male getting some kind of sexual favor from the female at the end, which doesn't happen here. Well, actually her friend provides one to him in the form of oral sex. Also, the main events are part of a fantasy the male character is describing to his ex-hooker girlfriend.

Could either of those factors be important here, or is it just pure randomness?

 

[TheRedChamber]

It's probably a mistake to speculate about why scores sometimes end up were they do.

This is definitely a story where you get a very different view depending on whether you're following the series and plot or not. I've read some of your Nora stories, but am not all caught up. I also note that all the other chapters in the series were in different categories, so the lack of attention might be due to BDSM folks not wanting to read 5 chapters of non-BDSM story and your regular readers not catching this one.

Honestly, though, I suspect part of the issue is that (taking this chapter on its own) the structure is quite weird. There's a fairly dry initial setup - we get some context for the Lilith 'beef' but in terms of newspaper publish and it's all filtered through a conversation with Nora. Then Nora disappears for all the action only to reappear, think about making the fantasy real but not actually doing so and then disappearing off with someone else after some downer relationship analysis. I often feel that your stories might be based on real experiences - in this case this is exactly the sort of thing that happens in real life, with stuff nearly but not quite happening, but it kind of kills the mood a bit.

Any Lit story is already fantasy so doing a fantasy within a fantasy is always just an extra layer of abstraction which is hard to do successfully (IMHO) unless you are mixing it in with a 'real world' that eventually catches up to the fantasy in some way.

 

[lovecraft68]

Those that I have written seem to have been reasonably well accepted. This one, which will be near the end of the series, hasn't done very well nor has it gotten much attention. So far there are no comments about it.

https://classic.literotica.com/s/the-unexpected-girlfriend-ch-06

The few femdom stories I've done usually have the male getting some kind of sexual favor from the female at the end, which doesn't happen here. Well, actually her friend provides one to him in the form of oral sex. Also, the main events are part of a fantasy the male character is describing to his ex-hooker girlfriend.

Could either of those factors be important here, or is it just pure randomness?

First off, one issue is you jumped categories. There shouldn't be anything wrong with that if the content fits, but for an audience here to read edgy smut, they're a finicky lot and any 'bump' seems to send them reeling. I didn't look at the other chapters, but if this femdom thing is new, another bump.

Also, femdom tends to attract the 'real men' type of troll who thinks BDSM is just NC with the woman saying "sir" so there's always a few of those one bombs to factor in when a story is on the new list.

I think the addition of a second woman might be a detriment as well if it was all one on one previously, and in BDSM some purists like it to remain just top/bottom with no one else.

The "It didn't really" happen, like the device of "It was only a dream" can rub some the wrong way.

.I wouldn't worry much, this is the cost of writing on a site where a lot of readership wants the same thing over and over and you dared to toss in some bells and whistles and subvert expectations.

 

[gunhilltrain]

First off, one issue is you jumped categories. There shouldn't be anything wrong with that if the content fits, but for an audience here to read edgy smut, they're a finicky lot and any 'bump' seems to send them reeling. I didn't look at the other chapters, but if this femdom thing is new, another bump.

Also, femdom tends to attract the 'real men' type of troll who thinks BDSM is just NC with the woman saying "sir" so there's always a few of those one bombs to factor in when a story is on the new list.

I think the addition of a second woman might be a detriment as well if it was all one on one previously, and in BDSM some purists like it to remain just top/bottom with no one else.

The "It didn't really" happen, like the device of "It was only a dream" can rub some the wrong way.

.I wouldn't worry much, this is the cost of writing on a site where a lot of readership wants the same thing over and over and you dared to toss in some bells and whistles and subvert expectations.

Thanks @lovecraft68, you confirmed what I already suspected. This is the third, and last, series about these two characters. I highly doubt that anybody has actually read all of it. That's the short attention span issue we've talked about. Probably a lot of people read a series chapter randomly and don't care about what was before it, much less what is is in stories connected to it elsewhere. There are a couple of maledom and femdom stories elsewhere in the story line, but they were published years ago.

Another site has a category "College Sex" which probably would have covered everything and avoided category jumping.

I made it into a fantasy because it seemed too improbable to be "real" within the context of the story, which itself is a fantasy (my own) one level up. But I made it clear at the beginning what it was. The other women are "real" within the story and are mentioned elsewhere, but as I said, who remembers that? Thus various BDSM fans likely read only that one chapter and judged it as if it was a stand-alone story.

 

[gunhilltrain]

It's probably a mistake to speculate about why scores sometimes end up were they do.

This is definitely a story where you get a very different view depending on whether you're following the series and plot or not. I've read some of your Nora stories, but am not all caught up. I also note that all the other chapters in the series were in different categories, so the lack of attention might be due to BDSM folks not wanting to read 5 chapters of non-BDSM story and your regular readers not catching this one.

Honestly, though, I suspect part of the issue is that (taking this chapter on its own) the structure is quite weird. There's a fairly dry initial setup - we get some context for the Lilith 'beef' but in terms of newspaper publish and it's all filtered through a conversation with Nora. Then Nora disappears for all the action only to reappear, think about making the fantasy real but not actually doing so and then disappearing off with someone else after some downer relationship analysis. I often feel that your stories might be based on real experiences - in this case this is exactly the sort of thing that happens in real life, with stuff nearly but not quite happening, but it kind of kills the mood a bit.

Any Lit story is already fantasy so doing a fantasy within a fantasy is always just an extra layer of abstraction which is hard to do successfully (IMHO) unless you are mixing it in with a 'real world' that eventually catches up to the fantasy in some way.

Thanks! The Nora stories are quite a mess to follow, so I shouldn't be surprised that no one can do that. They started as a single stand-alone story and grew into a bunch of overlapping series and stories packed into a short time period. I tried to provide some links, but I doubt many casual readers would (or even could) follow all of that. Some events, like her break-up with him, are told three different times in different places, so it's a pain to keep track of what's going on.

The settings are real, but most of the events are fictional. The only thing that is based on reality is the student newspaper, and the Lilith character is based on a real person. However, all of that has also been described three or four times. It's a little like one of those chopped-up William Burroughs novels with a lot of abrupt WTF scene transitions.

 

[nice90sguy]

@gunhilltrain You pulled Ch 6?

 

[gunhilltrain]

@gunhilltrain You pulled Ch 6?

Yeah, I did, one of the only times I did something like that. I've been rewriting it as a stand-alone story for another site. It's improbable, but I did it as if the event really happened. Plausibility is not exactly a priority in erotica, porn, or whatever you wish to call it. The "consumers" often like bizarre situations as seen on Lit.

Surprisingly, it seems to be working better as a "real" event. Basically, I got rid of the beginning and ending sections which are just dialogue, and I wrote a few new introductory paragraphs by the narrator.

P.S.: Now all I need is a title.