KillerMuffin
Seraphically Disinclined
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2000
- Posts
- 25,603
StudMuffins, can't live with 'em, and his neck is too muscly to wring.
The StudMuffin was able to enjoy a nice 4 hour pass from the hospital today. So we went to McDonalds. Okay, he's locked up and therefore is earning no cash, and therefore we go to McDonalds. Anyway.
My normal McDonalds order is a Big Mac and something to drink. So I got that as usual. We sat down and did our normal restaurant behavior. He and Shiaboji, er, my father-in-law, discussed and argued, my son discussed dinosaurs with the elderly couple the next table over, and I ate and occasionally exchanged pleasantries with my Dr. Pepper.
After I'd gotten satisfyingly into my Big Mac, the StudMuffin takes notice and says, "Knock it off," furtive look around to make sure no one is watching, he glares at some guy a few tables over, "you're embarassing me."
"Whoopdee-fuckin-do." is apparently an unacceptable response. So is a totally unrepentant bored look followed by sucking the secret sauce off of my finger. He can turn the most interesting shades of red, purple, blue, and green when he gets angry.
I eat a hamburger of any sort from top to bottom, rather from side to side. Whatever is stuck to the bread first, followed by the vegetation, then the cheese, then the bread, then the meat at the end. I've always done this and I always will. You eat it with your fingers anyway, what's the big deal? He has disallowed me from eating hamburgers in public, from eat corndogs in public, from eating my favorite candy bars in public. I'm not allowed to eat anything in public that I eat abnormally. Yes, I eat candybars weird too. I nibble off all of the chocolate outer coating and then use my tongue and fingers to enjoy the rest. It embarasses him because, oh my gawd, someone might see me doing something outside the norm.
The StudMuffin is such a prick about the stupidest things. So what, I don't eat stuff the same way everyone else does. Last time I checked there wasn't a congressional mandate regarding the way one is to consume food in public. No where in the Bible does it say that everyone must eat a Big Mac from side to side. I'm going to the mall tomorrow and eating a corn dog in front of all and sundry dammit. Fuck the StudMuffin and the damned high horse he's sitting on.
So, does anyone else do anything in public that embarrasses your S/O to the point where they forbid you from doing the activity? Or am I alone in tyrannical man hell here?
The StudMuffin was able to enjoy a nice 4 hour pass from the hospital today. So we went to McDonalds. Okay, he's locked up and therefore is earning no cash, and therefore we go to McDonalds. Anyway.
My normal McDonalds order is a Big Mac and something to drink. So I got that as usual. We sat down and did our normal restaurant behavior. He and Shiaboji, er, my father-in-law, discussed and argued, my son discussed dinosaurs with the elderly couple the next table over, and I ate and occasionally exchanged pleasantries with my Dr. Pepper.
After I'd gotten satisfyingly into my Big Mac, the StudMuffin takes notice and says, "Knock it off," furtive look around to make sure no one is watching, he glares at some guy a few tables over, "you're embarassing me."
"Whoopdee-fuckin-do." is apparently an unacceptable response. So is a totally unrepentant bored look followed by sucking the secret sauce off of my finger. He can turn the most interesting shades of red, purple, blue, and green when he gets angry.
I eat a hamburger of any sort from top to bottom, rather from side to side. Whatever is stuck to the bread first, followed by the vegetation, then the cheese, then the bread, then the meat at the end. I've always done this and I always will. You eat it with your fingers anyway, what's the big deal? He has disallowed me from eating hamburgers in public, from eat corndogs in public, from eating my favorite candy bars in public. I'm not allowed to eat anything in public that I eat abnormally. Yes, I eat candybars weird too. I nibble off all of the chocolate outer coating and then use my tongue and fingers to enjoy the rest. It embarasses him because, oh my gawd, someone might see me doing something outside the norm.
The StudMuffin is such a prick about the stupidest things. So what, I don't eat stuff the same way everyone else does. Last time I checked there wasn't a congressional mandate regarding the way one is to consume food in public. No where in the Bible does it say that everyone must eat a Big Mac from side to side. I'm going to the mall tomorrow and eating a corn dog in front of all and sundry dammit. Fuck the StudMuffin and the damned high horse he's sitting on.
So, does anyone else do anything in public that embarrasses your S/O to the point where they forbid you from doing the activity? Or am I alone in tyrannical man hell here?
That's perfect! Poetry in trolldom. Wow, I even got a little het up over that one. Calling me a bitch was just the icing on the cake.
