I Caught My Forks Canoodling

[bluebell]

Not spooning, you understand, but engaging in Feisty Fork Fucking.

I came out of my bedroom this morning and the first thing I saw when I looked at the dish drainer was my forks, going at it with no scruples, misgivings, embarrassment or shame.
In fact, I think they enjoyed being caught.

Kinky lil' devils.

 

[MagicaPractica]

You should see LilRedJammies story on sock sex. Very enlightening.



p.s. I'm a huge Madeleine L'Engle fan too.

 

[bluebell]

You should see LilRedJammies story on sock sex. Very enlightening.

I shall have to check that story out promptly!
If her mind twisted enough to write about sock sex then I'm sure I shall enjoy it thoroughly.

p.s. I'm a huge Madeleine L'Engle fan too.

Sing on, sister.

 

[damppanties]

I shall have to check that story out promptly!
If her mind twisted enough to write about sock sex then I'm sure I shall enjoy it thoroughly.

It isn't on Lit anymore. Alas!

 

[TE999]

Not spooning, you understand, but engaging in Feisty Fork Fucking.

I came out of my bedroom this morning and the first thing I saw when I looked at the dish drainer was my forks, going at it with no scruples, misgivings, embarrassment or shame.
In fact, I think they enjoyed being caught.

Kinky lil' devils.

It must be the season for such things!

I caught my spatulas in a 69 the other night.

They must have been enjoying it, cause they were flippin' out!

Hee Hee Hee.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Last night, the SO summoned me to the living room to observe the dog in a particularly perverse carnal relationship with her stuffed zebra. She was happily chewing away at a treat; the zebra appeared to be addressing earnest if largely ignored oral attentions to her hindquarters.

Her favorite chew treat is, in fact, dried bull's penis, but alas - at that most appropriate moment, it's not what she was chewing on.

 

[bluebell]

It isn't on Lit anymore. Alas!

*cries*
Dammit!

It must be the season for such things!

I caught my spatulas in a 69 the other night.

They must have been enjoying it, cause they were flippin' out!

Hee Hee Hee.

How do you think of this stuff?!

Neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh...dried bull's penis...

Egads!
I feel a *nicker* is in order.

 

[bluebell]

Actually, I think I meant either knicker or whicker, but I can't be sure because when I try to be serious about it, the only thing I can think of is underwear.

 

[bluebell]

*checks dictionary*

It was whicker.
Buggeration.

 

[damppanties]

<not necessary, snipped off> when I try to be serious about it <not necessary, snipped off>

Why...?

 

[bluebell]

Why...?

Because...I forgot there was another way?

 

[damppanties]

Because...I forgot there was another way?

Sorry, this is a non-serious thread. You get fined.

 

[bluebell]

Sorry, this is a non-serious thread. You get fined.

B-b-but it's my thread! Can you fine the original poster?
Is that legal? Is that fair? Is that standard Lit policy or just a smokescreen for Dampy's Evilicious Plan for World Domination?
I demand answers! I demand proper word usage! I demand chocolate!
*bangs fist on desk*

On the other hand, this is a thread about fork fucking.
Hmm.

 

[TE999]

On the other hand, this is a thread about fork fucking.
Hmm.

And as Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

That must have been advice to other forks.

"Take me Oneida, take me!"

"Not now, the spoons are watching."

 

[MagicaPractica]

So what about the knives? Are you all saying they just can't slice it? The spoons and forks get all the action? *sigh* How sad.

 

[damppanties]

So what about the knives? Are you all saying they just can't slice it? The spoons and forks get all the action? *sigh* How sad.

They're just kind of straight...and prissy, you know?

 

[bluebell]

Tom, that one made me chortle.

Magica, are you going to become the Advocate for Dull Knives?

They're just kind of straight...and prissy, you know?

Yeah. Because all the butch ones are in the big knife island. Where the Big Cerrated Boys hang out.
The other ones just sort of sit in their drawer, navel-gazing and waiting for a butterfly to pass by.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Actually, I think I meant either knicker or whicker, but I can't be sure because when I try to be serious about it, the only thing I can think of is underwear.

If you bring your knickers (occupied, of course) slightly closer, I'll be happy to demonstrate the nickering and whickering.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Sporks: hermaphrodites, bisexuals, or both?

 

[Liar]

Last night, the SO summoned me to the living room to observe the dog in a particularly perverse carnal relationship with her stuffed zebra. She was happily chewing away at a treat; the zebra appeared to be addressing earnest if largely ignored oral attentions to her hindquarters.

Her favorite chew treat is, in fact, dried bull's penis, but alas - at that most appropriate moment, it's not what she was chewing on.

And you didn't get the camera? What IS the world coming to?

 

[Liar]

Sporks: hermaphrodites, bisexuals, or both?

I like to think of them as multisexuals.

 

[TE999]

Sporks: hermaphrodites, bisexuals, or both?

In actuality, they are mutants from the planet Polystyrene who have come to rob us of our most precious resource: plastic bottles and cups.

This could spell the end of recycling as we know it.

Be very afraid.

 

[Guest]

And as Yogi Berra once said, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

That must have been advice to other forks.

"Take me Oneida, take me!"

"Not now, the spoons are watching."

BWAH!!!

 

[bluebell]

If you bring your knickers (occupied, of course) slightly closer, I'll be happy to demonstrate the nickering and whickering.

I never could resist the draw of a powerful horsey.
Either that or your harness is caught around my neck.

Hell. Who cares? Let the knicker-whicking begin!

And you didn't get the camera? What IS the world coming to?

I heard the camera was already in use.
The bull's penis was using it to film the cats while they were bathing themselves.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I heard the camera was already in use.
The bull's penis was using it to film the cats while they were bathing themselves.

You know, I'd always assumed that the one cat's few rare decisions to urinate on the dog's bed were motivated by territoriality and a dirty litter box. Now I wonder if they were invitations.