I can't take it anymore...

[temp256]

I'm trying to become a girl. The medical system is trying to stop me.

I've completely given up on my therapist, who after four months still wouldn't give me a timeframe of when I could start hormones. She was a terrible listener too. I told he I was going to order hormones without her, but she didn't care.

So I bought my own hormones online. This is rather dangerous without medical supervision, so I called an endocrinologist listed in a trans-friendly directory. He won't help me either. He won't do anything without a therapist's recommendation. I told him I was going to take hormones on my own, but he didn't seem to care either.

I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. No one wants to help me. I can't keep this up...

 

[13abovethenight]

Have you considered getting a new therapist? if the one you had didn't work-well if you hired a carpenter who wouldn't hammer nails, wouldn't you get a new one? So why not a therapist who won't listen?

I can't claim to understand what you want or why, or anything like that-but this doesn't sound like an over night process, and your obviously looking for some attention and some reassurance here. While I have none to give, I can offer an outsiders view point on this: harming yourself because you're in too much of a hurry to do things properly and safely is never an exscuse in my book.

 

[Tymeless]

jetta i think thats what u said you wanted your name to be my advise for you is slow down get a therapist thats willing to listen and help so that you can do this safely just imagine if you do this without medical supervision and you have an adverse effect that makes you ill and you can't continue with hormone treatment afterwards. Take your time slow down and do this right thats what i'm doing i took a break from therapy to get my life straight so that when i start my transition i'll be back in school and working towards a new better life as a female.

 

[Chicklet]

Hi,

I've followed your posts, and I know that you're confident about this decision. But it's a major life-changing one. 13above is right about this not being an overnight process. You have to think about it as a many, many year long change. It's not going to be rushed. Everyone involving themselves in this with you is going to be doing their best to make sure that they believe it's what's right. I know you're confident, and I don't know enough about you to agree with you, but I'm certainly not going to disagree.

If you don't like your therapist, yes, find a new one. There are lots out there. You can get recommendations from friends, family, your old therapist... she's not purposely trying to thwart you, she's doing what she truly believes is right. Go ahead and be honest with her about not thinking the two of you click, and she will truly do her best to recommend someone she thinks will be good for you.

I promise that the doctor's out there aren't trying to ruin your chances. They're just doing what they believe in their hearts is right. You can't force someone to give you permission to do something that they just don't believe in.

Don't do hormones on your own if it's going to endanger you. Again I agree with 13above.. there's just no excuse for harming yourself. Just be patient, and remember that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and eventually you're going to get what you need. It's going to be harder to convince doctors to help you if you're damaging yourself, first.