I cant orgasm

[BDisaster]

my girlfriend and I have sex every night and i usually end up reaching peak multiple times throughout. Lately I havent been able to. She usually just rubs my clit and fingers me and thats enough. Last night she was doing what she always does but for some reason i wasnt getting to where i needed to be.

she was upset needless to say

after she left i examined myself. when i went to touch my clit it hurt, and i noticed it was swollen. i have no idea what this means and im a tad concerned. maybe im having too much sex? or maybe shes being to rough? any ideas?

 

[gloriann]

I'd keep an eye on it for a day or two, no sex (sorry) and see if it's still sore. If it is, go to the doctor. If not, a break was maybe what was needed, and then have your girlfriend do something to you that she hasn't done or done often. I find orgasms are better when the technique is mixed up, fingers, oral, toys, riding her thigh, etc.

 

[SweetErika]

I'd keep an eye on it for a day or two, no sex (sorry) and see if it's still sore. If it is, go to the doctor. If not, a break was maybe what was needed, and then have your girlfriend do something to you that she hasn't done or done often. I find orgasms are better when the technique is mixed up, fingers, oral, toys, riding her thigh, etc.

Good advice. It's probably a combination of being a little too rough and not having enough lube, but if it doesn't get better, get it checked out.

Not orgasming could be caused by many things. Maybe you need a change in routine or to engage your mind more with hot fantasies. It could also be general stress, exhaustion, illness or medications/drugs, or becoming a little desensitized. For most of us, the best way to avoid orgasm is worrying about having one, or otherwise pressuring ourselves. It's easy to have trouble once or twice and let the worry about that become a self-fulfilling prophecy and cycle (you have trouble>worry>have trouble>worry more, and on and on).

I find going into sex with a really good fantasy or two keeps my mind away from worrying or otherwise getting distracted. Also, I've learned to relax more and not see not coming, or taking a longer time, as things to worry about. I figure, it happens, great; if it doesn't, I can always start fresh next time and still had fun.

I'd suggest thinking about what might have changed and could be the cause(s), and then addressing them if possible, and relaxing. Try new things - that might help you feel more positive and break the cycle, and if nothing else, you'll likely have a lot of fun exploring! Make pleasure, rather than orgasm, your destination, and reassure your gf that she still makes you feel great (sometimes partners internalize these issues as their failure).

I'm sure you'll be fine.