I bet that I can sing better than you!

[TonyClifton]

Let's start the competition.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is my rendition of the song "Volare" by Dean Martin.

[Insert song lyrics here]

Volare, oh oh
Cantare, oh oh oh oh
Let's fly way up to the clouds
Away from the maddening crowds
We can sing in the glow of a star that I know of
Where lovers enjoy peace of mind
Let us leave the confusion and all disillusion behind
Just like bird of a feather, a rainbow together we'll find

Volare, oh oh
E contare, oh oh oh oh

[Tony stops singing and addresses audience]

Okay, everyone that liked my singing, please hold up your hand.

[Thirty seconds later]

What the fuck is this? Are your arms broke or what? Fuck you people!

[Tony exits stage]

[Insert picture of Tony Clifton here]

[The moderator of this forum replies]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tony Clifton has left the building.

 

[TonyClifton]

Perhaps, you might like to take singing lessons from me.
- Susan Boyle

 

[TonyClifton]

What the fuck?

There isn't any Andy Kaufman fans here?

 

[TonyClifton]

I can sing better than you. Didn't you see me on Saturday Night Live a few years ago?

 

[TonyClifton]

Evidently, you have never seen the Sony and Cher Show.

 

[TonyClifton]

Why are you asking me this question?

I have enough difficulties in life as it is.

 

[oggbashan]

Florence Foster Jenkins sang better than you can.

She filled the Carnegie Hall - and they paid to be there!

 

[clutch1]

Perhaps, you might like to take singing lessons from me.
- Susan Boyle

I didn't know Rex Ryan sang in a dress.