I bet that I can sing better than you!

[TonyClifton]

Let's start the competition.

Ladies and gentlemen, here is my rendition of the song "Volare" by Dean Martin.

[Insert song lyrics here]

Volare, oh oh
Cantare, oh oh oh oh
Let's fly way up to the clouds
Away from the maddening crowds
We can sing in the glow of a star that I know of
Where lovers enjoy peace of mind
Let us leave the confusion and all disillusion behind
Just like bird of a feather, a rainbow together we'll find

Volare, oh oh
E contare, oh oh oh oh

[Tony stops singing and addresses audience]

Okay, everyone that liked my singing, please hold up your hand.

[Thirty seconds later]

What the fuck is this? Are your arms broke or what? Fuck you people!

[Tony exits stage]

[Insert picture of Tony Clifton here]

http://www.portlandmercury.com/binary/754e/tony_clifton_jpg-magnum.jpg

[The moderator of this forum replies]

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tony Clifton has left the building.

 

[TonyClifton]

Perhaps, you might like to take singing lessons from me.
- Susan Boyle

http://www.newyorkpersonalinjuryattorneyblog.com/uploaded_images/SusanBoyle-777073.jpg

 

[TonyClifton]

What the fuck?

There isn't any Andy Kaufman fans here?

http://www.anvari.org/db/cols/The_Simpsons_Characters_Picture_Gallery/Krusty_the_Clown.jpg

 

[TonyClifton]

I can sing better than you. Didn't you see me on Saturday Night Live a few years ago?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/84/Al_Sharpton_by_David_Shankbone.jpg/250px-Al_Sharpton_by_David_Shankbone.jpg

 

[TonyClifton]

Evidently, you have never seen the Sony and Cher Show.

http://hulshofschmidt.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/sonnycher07-1.jpg

 

[TonyClifton]

Why are you asking me this question?

I have enough difficulties in life as it is.

http://witchesbrewonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/woman-crying-2.jpg

 

[oggbashan]

Florence Foster Jenkins sang better than you can.

She filled the Carnegie Hall - and they paid to be there!

 

[clutch1]

Perhaps, you might like to take singing lessons from me.
- Susan Boyle

http://www.newyorkpersonalinjuryattorneyblog.com/uploaded_images/SusanBoyle-777073.jpg

I didn't know Rex Ryan sang in a dress.