I am too squeamish

[Musicianprinces]

Im a young girl and i get highly aroused but i am too squeamish to insert my fingers or anything else inside me. I haveno problem with a partner doing it to me though.

I was just wondering what could i do to get pass this? i like solo play and its annoying as i like penetration but i cat do it to myself!

 

[SweetErika]

Do you have any idea as to why you're squeamish about inserting fingers and toys? Or why having someone else do it doesn't bother you?

If you can trace it back to a more specific belief or event, you'll likely have a better shot at combating the undesirable feeling with logic. For instance, if you believe penetrating yourself is "gross," you could list all the reasons why it's perfectly normal, healthy and clean (provided you take steps like washing your hands before/after).

 

[Musicianprinces]

Do you have any idea as to why you're squeamish about inserting fingers and toys? Or why having someone else do it doesn't bother you?

If you can trace it back to a more specific belief or event, you'll likely have a better shot at combating the undesirable feeling with logic. For instance, if you believe penetrating yourself is "gross," you could list all the reasons why it's perfectly normal, healthy and clean (provided you take steps like washing your hands before/after).

for me there i no event..i dont even think its gross i jus cannot do it to myself but i want to try

 

[emap]

There kinda has to be something either that happened to you or you do think it's disgusting or well something. Because honestly, you want to finger fuck yourself, you enjoy being penetrated but you can't make yourself put a finger in when you are horny.

 

[SweetErika]

for me there i no event..i dont even think its gross i jus cannot do it to myself but i want to try

If you keep thinking you can't do it, then don't be surprised when you're unable to.

I agree with Emap: there must be something holding part of you back. You probably need to think seriously about it for a while and force yourself to think and speak in more positive terms (e.g. 'I CAN penetrate myself, there's just something holding a part of me back from doing so. I'm going to figure that out so I can do what I WANT to. My feelings don't control my thoughts or actions.').

It often helps to identify feelings first. When you think about and try to penetrate yourself, how do you feel? Next, what thoughts go through your head?

Try writing those feelings and thoughts down, then looking at your current rationale for them, then attacking them logically and replacing them with logical thoughts. Once you do that enough, logical feelings and actions should follow.

For more info, look into Cognitive Behavior Therapy. In my experience, it's one of the most successful ways to change beliefs and behavior, and once one understands the basic procedure, it's not terribly difficult to work through issues on one's own (though starting w/ a therapist is a very good idea if that's an option).

 

[nh23]

Latex gloves. I was like that for years in my younger days, until I worked through some issues. If I used gloves I was fine.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Why not try it when in the shower or bathtub? Start by focusing your attention on your clit and then insert a finger or two when you're too aroused to care about squeamishness.

 

[phelon]

you mention in your OP that there is no problem with a partner penetrating you, just yourself... i would wonder if perhaps you could have your partner help you to actually guide you a few times to see what happens..

 

[drivensnow]

That's a good idea too, phelon. Also, possibly play around with angles--is it easier to lower yourself onto an object (fingers, toys) or perhaps come from behind you?

There's nothing that says you MUST have penetration for solo play but it sounds like you want to overcome this barrier, so I hope you find the right method/mind combination!

 

[Mac98]

Damn... it must be HARD not to finger fuck yourself even when you're horny if you don't even find it gross.

I say just go for it. Don't think of it, just do it... like jumping in the water. Don't think, just do it.

 

[Mysty61]

In addition to what others are saying try doing it a little at a time, take it in steps. Today just play around, explore yourself in the area, tomorrow do a little more exploring around the opening, the next day slightly put your finger past the opening. Keep this up until you can do what you want. You do not have to do it on consecutive days and you can also take several days with each step. There is no hurry, but you do want to make progress. Rather then using fingers you could also use a dildo or some other object. Someone once told me "by the yard it is hard, by the inch it is a cinch". Good luck.

 

[johnross1975]

Try not to think about it too much. Just close your eyes and let it happen if it does great,if not well you can play with your clit think noughty thoughts and try again another time. Dont do it for the sake of it enjoy your body its wonderful.