I AM RESEARCHER. CAN YOU HELP ME?

[jhamiltown]

HELLO
I AM DR. S.J. HAMILTOWN
I AM SOCIOLOGIST.I AM RESEARCHING ABOUT SEX AND START LIFE SEX
I HAVE 8 QUESTION OF YOU
PLEAS ANSWER FEMAL ONLE .THANKS

MY QUESTION:
1: WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME(LAST NAME NO NECESSARY)?
2: HOW OLD ARE YOU?
3:ARE YOU MARRIED?
4:WHEN DID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME AND YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?
5:WHO DID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME?
6ID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME OF PUSSY OR ASSHOLE?
7ID YOU FUCK FROM ASSHOLE NEVER?
8:what did you had sense when you fucked first time?

VERY THANKS

 

[Guest]

Well, I guess you've found a way around those skyrocketting phone sex bills, huh?

 

[Guest]

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not an English professor!!!!

 

[Cheyenne]

LMAO! Seems like you're looking for something you might find better on the personals board.

 

[April]

Yeah, right. I don't believe a word of it.

 

[Guest]

 

[Closet Desire]

Yeah?

...and I'm John Holmes and have I got a long "tail" to tell you.

I am a researcher and one of the first things I learned was to write, spell, and NOT USE ALL CAPS!

Go wank on a magazine and try not to annoy the natives.

 

[Closet Desire]

Aw heck...

...maybe that was unfair.

How about posting the abstract for your research, the letters after your name, and the institution where you are affiliated.

 

[KillerMuffin]

7ID YOU FUCK FROM ASSHOLE NEVER?

VERY THANKS

This question is directed at Never ladies.

Hamiltown, isn't that on Moron Mountain?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

At least make an attempt to sound real.

"id you fuck first time of pussy or asshole?"

id you really say that? id you expect us to think you're for real? idn't you know that a true researcher would be just a weensy bit more clinical?

*sigh*

Where do they COME from?

(and no, that isn't question 9)

 

[Slick66]

Hello I AM Researcher,I M Baboon, is my ass red?

 

[Closet Desire]

Hey...

...get your butt off my screen!

 

[SimplySouthern]

I.M. Weasel. I love that cartoon.

Man, the cartoon network is a lovely thing

As for the above questions...yeah right. LMAO

 

[Latina]

1: WHAT IS YOUR FIRST NAME(LAST NAME NO NECESSARY)? Latina
2: HOW OLD ARE YOU? 50
3:ARE YOU MARRIED? Yes
4:WHEN DID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME AND YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 23
5:WHO DID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME? boyfriend
6ID YOU FUCK FIRST TIME OF PUSSY OR ASSHOLE? id you ever learn ow to spell?
7ID YOU FUCK FROM ASSHOLE NEVER? Id ya never lurn Inglush? I was not fucked from asshole never, you asshole.
8:what did you had sense when you fucked first time? I had a lot more sense than you are showing with this post.

Puts me in mind of a letter in broken English that my mother-in-law got early in her career, over 50 years ago, from a European customer who was looking forward to doing business with that company for a long time: "Looking forward to having the intimate relations with you, sincerely yours..."

-- Latina

 

[OUTSIDER]

I hope this guy doesn't have his practice in the UK....

I really hope this guy is not a doctor, cause if he is then that is the most frightening fucking thing I've ever seen.

 

[Closet Desire]

Okay...ummm...I'm...

like gonna go back to the Cartoon Network thing?

I was really excited about moving to England and living with CD-able, but I knew I was giving up certain things. Turned on the TV and I'll be damned...it's Tom and Jerry.

Twenty-fours a day of cartoons. Life is good.

 

[OUTSIDER]

CD how are you finding life in London and how long have you been here.

 

[Closet Desire]

My pat answer...

...it's better than Oklahoma! hah

I've been here five years...just outside London actually, but everybody seems to know where London is.

What do I like? I like the people. I like the freedom to express sensuality, erotica, and sex. I like the tolerance for people of all backgrounds. I even like the French! The friends I've made here have been more intimate than any I ever had in the US. I love the business of London, the cosmopolitan air of London, the restaurants, the stores, all that. I love being able to be in Paris in a few hours or hop a plane and go anywhere in Europe for the price of going to Dallas. I like the fact that my American capitalist background has ben a godsend in managing our business. I love the culture and the long history. Oh...I love my Mercedes too! And...I love the women. They are beautiful. They just push all the right buttons for me! (Am I allowed to say that here?). Oh, close to sex, I love food and find that the produce, meats, and such are much better than they are in the states (I do all the cooking around here). And, of course, I love my wife and her children.

What do I dislike? What else? The weather! What a surprise! I like that it doesn't get really cold or really hot, but I miss actually feeling the sun. It's disappointing to look up in the sky at the rare, bare sun and notice that it feels a 60 watt bulb! I don't like the poor customer support or the frequent lack of interest in doing business. Recently shocked a landlord at our offices who couldn't seem to get around to producing a lease even after six months. This morning he noticed we were gone! Moved into better offices in the town centre with someone who could produce a lease in 48 hours! Oh well. I dislike Telewest (who doesn't). I dislike the cost of petrol. I dislike lager louts and football thugs.

That's a pretty good run down! Actually, I've loved everywhere I ever lived even though Oklahoma is tied for last! I find it likely that I'll be here much, much longer. After all, I've got to wait around and see if trains ever run on time! We are thinking of a home in Mallorca though!

Thanks for asking!

 

[April]

CD, would you adopt me? Please? LOL

 

[Closet Desire]

oooooo...

...that sounds interesting! Sure...why not?

(really dear...she followed me home...honest!)

 

[OUTSIDER]

Thats a good answer and a fair assessment I feel thank you and can I come and holiday with you in Mallorca, lol.

 

[Closet Desire]

Oh yeah...

...the more the merrier. We buy holiday tickets the way brokers buy shares. When they hit £99 each we cry out "buy, buy"! Have Mastercard...will travel!

Here's a good one for you about culture shock. I have a bevy of American credit cards as well as English ones. While we were in Palma we ate at one of the restaurants across from the cathedral and I gave the waiter an American card. He came back flustered and tried to explain in Spanish that it was rejected. I wasn't surprised and paid cash.

When we got back to our flat I called the issuer and she said of course it was rejected. I was appalled. I asked her if she knew how embarrassing it is to hand someone a gold card and have it rejected. Here's her response...

"All you have to do is have the merchant call us on the number on the back of your card and we'll authorise the charge."

I was incredulous.

I asked if she had anybody there who spoke Mallorcan (sp) and of course she said "No, is that a problem?"

Won't take that one on holiday again! Why on earth would anyone want to try dialing the US from Mallorca, pay long distance charges, and try to find someone who speaks the language in order to pay 6,000 (£24) ptas for a meal?

Alas, I'm ashamed to say it but sometimes my countrymen have a rather isolated view of the world (sigh).

 

[OUTSIDER]

I'm not poking fun here but I've heard that only 10% of Americans have a passport, I'd like to say to any Americans on the board who don't have a passport and to people all over.....travel abroard if you can it will open your mind better than any drug ever will.

 

[April]

I don't have one. I used to, but the blasted military took it away from me. *sob*

Actually, since it was a free one given to dependents only while overseas, I did not complain when I had to turn it in. Haven't gotten around to getting another one yet. I'm hoping I can get another free military one. *hoping real hard*

 

[Closet Desire]

It's probably true...

How's this for a kick? I had never even seen the ocean when I joined the Navy. Leave the country? Going to Texas was the biggest excursion I ever had!

The Navy gave me a real taste and thirst for travel. I was assigned to the 6th fleet (Mediterranean) and immediately liked Europe and the mid East (events took a strange turn in 1977).

I didn't get a passport until I started having an affair with CD-able...could call it my passport to love! Okay...it's corny. It's got lots of stamps and visas in it now. My son has even more in his because he tours Europe to compete in judo tournaments. Actually, I think he's been more places than me! Really liked the south of France, he said. Apparently women go topless there...can you believe it? Eighteen years old...sheesh.

They don't stamp them much anymore, even for Americans. The last three times I've been to France there wasn't even anyone checking passports. When I went to Mallorca a couple of weeks ago the guy was too bored to even look. If you have an EU passport they don't even get looked at...you just go right through. Coming back to England is still very rigid though.

Making a long story short...I agree. Get a passport and travel abroad. It will change you for life. I don't know why, but it does. I do it largely because it gives me material for my books, inspires me, gives me a different perspective. Plus, you'll be surprised how quickly you learn enough of the language to get by. Most will speak English, but it's considered a real compliment to struggle in the native tongue and you'll be rewarded by some genuine hospitality wherever you go.

Now...pronounce after me. "Oui, Si, Non, Na, Mastercard?"

I thought you'd understand! Oh...don't bother with travelers checks...nobody knows what they are. Besides your ATM card works fine in everyone's cash point.