I am freaking out.

[MasterK13]

My slave is pregnant and I'm afraid of how we are going to raise our child she wants to stay a slave to me but I don't think that's a good idea since we're about to become parents. I'm meeting her parents for Thanksgiving and they think I'm her boyfriend but I am afraid of how her family will react to me to I mean I got her pregnant so they probably wont be to happy to meet me and I know they really would not be happy if they knew the full details of our relationship.

What should I do? How do I go about all of this?

 

[Touch_72]

Well, first... what do you want? To be with her? Or was this just some fun thing? What is best for all, including the child? How can you take responsibility in a way that's in the higher good for all? It's not clear what you're looking for as far as how to go forward...

 

[MasterK13]

Well, first... what do you want? To be with her? Or was this just some fun thing? What is best for all, including the child? How can you take responsibility in a way that's in the higher good for all? It's not clear what you're looking for as far as how to go forward...

Yes I want to be with her but I don't want our lifestyle to affect our child negatively. This wasn't some fun thing I wanted a serious D/s relationship but I never thought about being a father. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and until she got pregnant I never really planned on being a father but I'm still happy to be one.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Yes I want to be with her but I don't want our lifestyle to affect our child negatively. This wasn't some fun thing I wanted a serious D/s relationship but I never thought about being a father. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and until she got pregnant I never really planned on being a father but I'm still happy to be one.

First of all, relax.
You are both grown ups and decisions about life and your relationship are up to you and not her parents. Do try to have a good relationship with them but don't let them run the show.
In my opinion it works best if each persons handles the boundaries with their own family. If she does that, they will have more trouble turning you into the bad guy.

Second, kids are not soufflés. Childrearing is something you do for a long time and you do not have to think up a plan for the whole process in the months before the child is born.
You not only can but will have to adjust the way you run your family together and the way you raise your child about a couple of billion times or so in the years to come.
The things you can do and talk about around a baby are different from what you can do or talk about around a toddler, a teenager etc.

There are different opinions about how much d/s is reasonable around other people and especially around children and you are going to have to make your own decisions. Thinking about how your actions are going to impact your children is something you will be doing even without d/s.

In my opinion, all parents should talk to their children about "how things are done in our family", "how others do things their way in their families and that is just as valid" and most of all "when you grow up you will have to decide how you want to do things based on what works for you".

Perhaps knowing that what you do is a bit outside of the norm makes you more aware of this and in the end you find that you are a better parent because you had to actually think about these things instead of just doing without reflection?

 

[MissShelly]

I'm new here, and just learning about D/s and the different ways it can play out, so I don't have much advice from that aspect.

What I CAN say, is that I'm a mother to four littles and can tell you that I agree with Iris..

Parenting changes a person. And parenting changes over time. You can plan all the road maps you want for child rearing, memorize all the parenting books, listen to all the "experts," and then.. I suggest you forget it all! LOL I'm serious. Each family is different, each child is different, and parenting changes through the stages of the child's growth.

Did you just find out she's pregnant? IF so, you're still in the shock phase and are panicking (as is evident by your above post). Take a few weeks to just breath and get used to the idea that a baby is coming. Talk to your partner about parenting and what she thinks about all of this.

Maybe you'll want to tone things down in front of the child as he/she grows older. Or maybe you want your child to see a lot of the Dom/sub lifestyle. The biggest factors are 1. The child is safe. 2. The child is provided for and 3. The child knows he/she is loved.

You two may decide to do things one way now, but then find after the baby gets here that the dynamic has changed, evolved. And that's okay. Parenting is a wonderful and scary trip. I heard it said once that it's the hardest job you'll ever love.

 

[Monica_112]

Are you 24/7 M/s?

 

[desertslave]

I wasn't in a D/s relationship when my kids were very young (sadly). However, what I would say is that babies obviously don't know the dynamics around them...they just want to be fed, changed and loved. As your child grows and evolves, so will your relationship...sometimes without even stopping to think about it.

When Master and I got together, it became something of a crash course, and has caused its share of bumps along our road. My kids were 11 and 8 when he moved in with us and it took adjustment on all sides to try to make what we wanted real. We were never overt with the kids around, and never 'came out' to them. Our interactions with each other were moderated, but the undercurrent was there, and both of my kids noticed in different ways. There were some awkward moments but I think they were more about a new man in my life than they were about the D/s aspects. Despite the fact that my ex and I weren't at all D/s, I had a habit of deferring to him (or at least attempting to) and checking in as needed.

As IrisAlthea said, it will be good to explain 'how things are done' when the time comes. Beyond that, though, I truly think it's the same mindfulness you would have as a vanilla couple about things you choose to do or not to do in front of your child.

And, by the way, congratulations!

 

[Felix_Jones]

My slave is pregnant and I'm afraid of how we are going to raise our child she wants to stay a slave to me but I don't think that's a good idea since we're about to become parents. I'm meeting her parents for Thanksgiving and they think I'm her boyfriend but I am afraid of how her family will react to me to I mean I got her pregnant so they probably wont be to happy to meet me and I know they really would not be happy if they knew the full details of our relationship.

What should I do? How do I go about all of this?

Break up with her. People are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I wasn't in a D/s relationship when my kids were very young (sadly). However, what I would say is that babies obviously don't know the dynamics around them...they just want to be fed, changed and loved. As your child grows and evolves, so will your relationship...sometimes without even stopping to think about it.

When Master and I got together, it became something of a crash course, and has caused its share of bumps along our road. My kids were 11 and 8 when he moved in with us and it took adjustment on all sides to try to make what we wanted real. We were never overt with the kids around, and never 'came out' to them. Our interactions with each other were moderated, but the undercurrent was there, and both of my kids noticed in different ways. There were some awkward moments but I think they were more about a new man in my life than they were about the D/s aspects. Despite the fact that my ex and I weren't at all D/s, I had a habit of deferring to him (or at least attempting to) and checking in as needed.

As IrisAlthea said, it will be good to explain 'how things are done' when the time comes. Beyond that, though, I truly think it's the same mindfulness you would have as a vanilla couple about things you choose to do or not to do in front of your child.

And, by the way, congratulations!

Yes, I think everyone would benefit from thst kind of talk, not just in families that are outside the norm.
I just heard an aquaintance talk about how her teen had spent a few days with friends of the family.
She mentioned how different the routines were in the two families and somehow managed to get across how much better her routines are.
I looked over at her child and it was quite obvious that there were a few things he had liked better in the other family.
To me it would seem like a good time to talk about why she handles things the way she does, discuss the different conditions people work with and ask how her 16-year old would want to run things ideally when it's time to decide about those things.

 

[NickiC]

My slave is pregnant and I'm afraid of how we are going to raise our child she wants to stay a slave to me but I don't think that's a good idea since we're about to become parents. I'm meeting her parents for Thanksgiving and they think I'm her boyfriend but I am afraid of how her family will react to me to I mean I got her pregnant so they probably wont be to happy to meet me and I know they really would not be happy if they knew the full details of our relationship.

What should I do? How do I go about all of this?

You have to build a life for the child and your own. Or you you make another decision. But I would think hard about what you want. I take my little relatives out or babysit and that is work. All day? Not ready. But some are and I respect that too. Good luck

 

[Harold_Hill]

My slave is pregnant and I'm afraid of how we are going to raise our child she wants to stay a slave to me but I don't think that's a good idea since we're about to become parents. I'm meeting her parents for Thanksgiving and they think I'm her boyfriend but I am afraid of how her family will react to me to I mean I got her pregnant so they probably wont be to happy to meet me and I know they really would not be happy if they knew the full details of our relationship.

What should I do? How do I go about all of this?

Sounds like you got your dick caught in the door. If you're going to be her Master, you should have known whether or not she was on birth control. Your slave's/sub's well being is your responsibility. If you're going to be a Master, (and especially if you are going to be a parent), the responsibility is *yours*! D/s is not all just fun and games.

First of all, you talk to your wife, (or the child's mother, whichever the case may be), and discuss with her how the *both of you* want to raise the child. You are only one half of the child's parents: it takes both parents in agreement to raise a child into a responsible adult. We have enough kids running around today suffering from bad parenting and broken homes.

Actually the first thing you need to do is grow up. In reading your post, your acting like an immature snot-nosed kid. Man-up and shoulder your responsibility as an adult.

Raising a child in a Master/slave marriage does not mean that you cannot raise a child to be a responsible adult. Where better for a child to learn what a healthy a D/s, or a Master/slave relationship is all about than from its parents. If you are afraid to let your child know of your real relationship with its mother, are you ashamed of what you're doing? If you are ashamed of what you're doing, find another lifestyle!

If both of you agree, (both yourself and the child's mother), that you don't want the child following in your footsteps, then expose the child to only what you want the child to learn. There are D/s and M/s clubs and groups for people who want to keep their lifestyle discreet.

 

[Kitty]

My slave is pregnant and I'm afraid of how we are going to raise our child she wants to stay a slave to me but I don't think that's a good idea since we're about to become parents. I'm meeting her parents for Thanksgiving and they think I'm her boyfriend but I am afraid of how her family will react to me to I mean I got her pregnant so they probably wont be to happy to meet me and I know they really would not be happy if they knew the full details of our relationship.

What should I do? How do I go about all of this?

Wrap it up.

I don't mean the baby.

I mean your dick.

But it's too late for that vintage advice.
So...take care of the child but reduce your sex life to the bedroom after the baby is all napped up.

 

[Mercury_Maniac]

Mazel Tov and congrats.


as for advice? well better start saving your fucking money.

 

[Kitty]

Mazel Tov and congrats.


as for advice? well better start saving your fucking money.

lol instead of buying that sex swing

 

[Mercury_Maniac]

lol instead of buying that sex swing

probably already has one and probably currently posting it for sale on craiglist

 

[AKS]

First of all, relax.
You are both grown ups and decisions about life and your relationship are up to you and not her parents. Do try to have a good relationship with them but don't let them run the show.
In my opinion it works best if each persons handles the boundaries with their own family. If she does that, they will have more trouble turning you into the bad guy.

Second, kids are not soufflés. Childrearing is something you do for a long time and you do not have to think up a plan for the whole process in the months before the child is born.
You not only can but will have to adjust the way you run your family together and the way you raise your child about a couple of billion times or so in the years to come.
The things you can do and talk about around a baby are different from what you can do or talk about around a toddler, a teenager etc.

There are different opinions about how much d/s is reasonable around other people and especially around children and you are going to have to make your own decisions. Thinking about how your actions are going to impact your children is something you will be doing even without d/s.

In my opinion, all parents should talk to their children about "how things are done in our family", "how others do things their way in their families and that is just as valid" and most of all "when you grow up you will have to decide how you want to do things based on what works for you".

Perhaps knowing that what you do is a bit outside of the norm makes you more aware of this and in the end you find that you are a better parent because you had to actually think about these things instead of just doing without reflection?

So well stated!

 

[IrisAlthea]

So well stated!

Thank you!