I am a man

[mikey2much]

I am trying to write a story about a very strong woman, who has a girl friend. I am trying to write a lesbian love scene between the two women.

Understandably I am writing about something there is no way I can know about. If I had a woman to go over what I wrote, with an eye toward whether I got it right or even close enough to seem real, would be helpful.

My question is this; Would it benefit the story to have a woman editor? If the editor had not had a similar experience, would she be any better suited to edit than a man would be?

 

[Safe_Bet]

You asking that question DOES NOT give me high hopes for your story, dude!

Even if your editor's not a lesbian (which WOULD be best) at least she SHOULD be a woman (with a woman's outlook on relational sex), otherwise you will be writing just more of the 38DD titted, 16 y.o. boy centric crap that is often passed off as lesbian erotica on this site.

 

[lance gt]

Writing Lesbian stories is a touchy area to tackle. As Amy points out, if it reads like a man wrote it, story over. A Lesbian willing to edit would be the most ideal situation, but even going to the GBLT forum and get some first hand insight to it will help greatly.

I used that approach in my stories and they seem to be doing very well scoring wise and by who reads them. Golden rule here, no cocks at all, unless they're latex.

 

[PennLady]

You may not need or even want an editor in this case so much as a beta reader. You need someone who could read it over and just give you overall feedback.

 

[3113]

If you're blind, you need a good guide dog

I am trying to write a story about a very strong woman, who has a girl friend. I am trying to write a lesbian love scene between the two women. ...My question is this; Would it benefit the story to have a woman editor? If the editor had not had a similar experience, would she be any better suited to edit than a man would be?

That depends. What is your goal for this story? And who do you aim to have for readers? Erotica is fantasy, and the plain fact is, any fantasy you write up, however far from reality, will have its fans. There are plenty of male readers on this site who, of course, don't give a shit about the reality of a lesbian relationship. They just want to read about, as Amy indicated, two women with big breasts going at it--and it's even better if the two are just having an experimental encounter, rather than being real lesbians, because then men can fuck them, too.

This is a fantasy. And it probably won't make for a good story, but it will get plenty of readers who don't want a story; they just want to read scenes containing that kind of imaginary sex scene with those sorts of a imaginary women. If, on the other hand, you really want to write an actual story about two women who are attracted to other women, not men, who admit their attraction to each other, explore and discover their love for each other as well as their pleasure in each other...well, that's going to take some research.

You can find out a lot by reading lesbian stories rated highly by lesbian readers, by asking questions in GBLT forum, and, yes, by getting a female editor with some experience in this. I wrote several stories of gay men in a leather bar. I had never been to a leather bar and I'm not a gay man. My first attempt was pretty woeful, in spite of all the research I did. It was very helpful to me to have an editor who knew the scene and could tell me where I was falling down.

And you'll find it surprising where you do fall down in such stories, little things you never considered and now need to, or small assumptions you made that were totally wrong. If you do this go on this journey, however, be prepared and willing to change your story; once you start to explore the reality of something, the story you intended to write may not work and/or it may require severe adjustments

 

[lance gt]

You can find out a lot by reading lesbian stories rated highly by lesbian readers, by asking questions in GBLT forum, and, yes, by getting a female editor with some experience in this. I wrote several stories of gay men in a leather bar. I had never been to a leather bar and I'm not a gay man. My first attempt was pretty woeful, in spite of all the research I did. It was very helpful to me to have an editor who knew the scene and could tell me where I was falling down.
:

To get an idea of that, check out In Search of the Big O that I wrote. It's a guy writing Lesbian, so it gives you an idea of what works. The first two chapters scored in the 4.77 area and the third 4.43, because I added in a cock. Even though they used him as a boytoy for fun, it turned it into Erotic Couples and not purely Lesbian.

 

[mikey2much]

My thanks to all of you

I will try to set the scene. the women are 81 and 50 years of age, but since so much of her time has been spent in deep sleep at near light speeds she is more like fifty years of age instead of eighty one. the older woman has been off world for so long that she has lost most of her muscles and now is being forced to return to earth where the gravity may well kill her. Her companion and lover is helping her overcome the pain in her limbs from being exposed to moon gravity.

The two are alone in a bathing tub, the younger woman massaging the sore muscles of the older woman. The older woman is the top in the relationship and she becomes aroused and asks for and receives oral satisfaction.
No cocks, no big tits, just two woman who love each other offering comfort to each other.

 

[sr71plt]

Emphasize the emotions and deemphasize the clinical stuff, and you'll probably do fine. The sex scene doesn't seem to be that important to your storyline.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will try to set the scene. the women are 81 and 50 years of age, but since so much of her time has been spent in deep sleep at near light speeds she is more like fifty years of age instead of eighty one. the older woman has been off world for so long that she has lost most of her muscles and now is being forced to return to earth where the gravity may well kill her. Her companion and lover is helping her overcome the pain in her limbs from being exposed to moon gravity.

The two are alone in a bathing tub, the younger woman massaging the sore muscles of the older woman. The older woman is the top in the relationship and she becomes aroused and asks for and receives oral satisfaction.
No cocks, no big tits, just two woman who love each other offering comfort to each other.

Perfect example of the little things you might miss.

Oral, in a tub full of water? Naw. She would have to pull herself and her sore muscles right up and out of the wonderful hot water. Women's pussies don't stick up, the way men's penises do.

And she wants the fullbody contact still, as much as she wants an orgasm. Oral is great, but it's impossible to be held while you're getting serviced. Her girl might finger her, reaching around from behind. or, she might flip her girl, and turn her so that they can rub pussies against each other's thighs while kissing and holding each other. That's lesbian sex too. You can work in details about nails raking backs, all that good stuff.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Perfect example of the little things you might miss.

Oral, in a tub full of water? Naw. She would have to pull herself and her sore muscles right up and out of the wonderful hot water. Women's pussies don't stick up, the way men's penises do.

And she wants the fullbody contact still, as much as she wants an orgasm. Oral is great, but it's impossible to be held while you're getting serviced. Her girl might finger her, reaching around from behind. or, she might flip her girl, and turn her so that they can rub pussies against each other's thighs while kissing and holding each other. That's lesbian sex too. You can work in details about nails raking backs, all that good stuff.

You mean those big 'ol painted nails, like in most lesbian porn???

(hint for ya, dude: Contrary to what Stella might be implying there are DAMN few real lesbians with nails! The freakin things HURT!)

 

[lance gt]

You mean those big 'ol painted nails, like in most lesbian porn???

(hint for ya, dude: Contrary to what Stella might be implying there are DAMN few real lesbians with nails! The freakin things HURT!)

I actually made a point of mentioning my character filing her nails down before she seduced the other woman. There are numerous male trappings in trying to write Lesbian porn. I paid attention to all the things my 2 wives and GF's did. I drew upon their habits and reactions to things to get a real feel to the story. The emotional impact of things, is far more important than the physical things.

In your case Mikey, I'd have the younger one help the older one out of the tub and while carrying her to the bed, start the moment of intimacy with eye contact and closeness. Once settled on the bed, the younger one can massage and eventually gratify the older one more plausibly.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Even short nails can rake, if you want them to. You just have to push harder.

 

[Handley_Page]

Even short nails can rake, if you want them to. You just have to push harder.

I concur.
Having both seen the damage to a pal's back, and had similar treatment, it really can hurt !

 

[NikkiBastion]

...unless one of them likes being clawed ;-)

Your dilemma reminds me of this story my ex was kind of trying to write about this guy and his (ultimately psycho) nurse, and an intro scene of the main guy in a bar. He writes really well, and the premise was interesting even if he is a jackass. (my divorce is final, I can say that now )

Anyway, the intro bar scene he had the bartender say something along the lines of, "Thanks, guy" or something but it didn't work because it wasn't believable dialogue. I pointed out to the ex that we're both long time bartenders and when has he *ever* addressed a patron as "thanks, guy!" Never is when. We don't talk like that and neither do most bartenders in this day and age. Something more natural would've been "thanks, man!" or "thanks, bro" or "thanks, dude" - but the bartender was a big burly biker sort and calling a patron as "guy" suddenly made him come off gay and flowery.

The other one was more in line with the OP's actual question, basically how do women see and go about things.

In another scene, he had the nurse arrive home to her already established 1 bdrm apartment, and toss her purse onto the bed. It was a simple little thing that just got me all sketchy because - while it's always possible, it's not typical. If she lived alone - and she did, and her bedroom was an actual room, and it was, (as opposed to the studio style with the pull out sofa bed in the living room), then when she got home, she would walk to the bedroom...but he didn't have her changing clothes or doing anything in there.

I pointed out that most women living alone, with an actual bedroom, don't do that. They almost always have some table or counter thing close to the front door where they set down their purse, take off the coat if applicable and then go on into the rest of the place. He looked at me like I fell out of a tree. I first pointed to the shelf in the entry way...to my purse. Later, I found myself pointing this out in a number of movies we'd watched, see? She puts the purse on the table, she doesn't walk it into the bedroom and put it on the bed unless other people are present who could get in her purse...which is the point. If we live alone, our purse is safe and conveniently placed by the door, we're not so attached to it we cart it all over the house

Little things but would be something that, even if they couldn't quite put their finger on it, female readers would tend to feel a needle across the record moment, something unrealistic in it once they were clear nurse lived alone and had a bedroom room...why is she taking her purse with her? We usually set it down where we put the house keys which is typically near the door so we don't forget it when we're leaving somewhere.

Nonsexual whatsoever, but "a girl thing" nevertheless!

 

[Stella_Omega]

I concur.
Having both seen the damage to a pal's back, and had similar treatment, it really can hurt !

Yesssss.....

 

[3113]

Nails, yikes!

I concur.
Having both seen the damage to a pal's back, and had similar treatment, it really can hurt !

I don't think it's necessarily the the back that Amy's wincing about (though it's certainly wince-worthy in my book to have someone clawing up my back). I don't know about other women here, but I ain't about to let a man or a woman touch my most delicate petals with long, claw-like nails no matter how prettily they've been painted (ouch, ouch, ouch!)

I mean, jesus, what if one was to break off while, um...well.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I mean, jesus, what if one was to break off while, um...well.

Or become embedded.

Mine are filed to about a sixteenth of an inch past the bed, no more. They don't go past my fingertips. The quick is kind of an erogenous zone for me, anyway, I get a lot of sensation out of that tiny area, and hate to have them covered-- feels like anesthesia.

Nikki, thanks for those examples!

 

[Safe_Bet]

I don't think it's necessarily the the back that Amy's wincing about (though it's certainly wince-worthy in my book to have someone clawing up my back). I don't know about other women here, but I ain't about to let a man or a woman touch my most delicate petals with long, claw-like nails no matter how prettily they've been painted (ouch, ouch, ouch!)

I mean, jesus, what if one was to break off while, um...well.

XACTLY!!!! Shredding some dudes back is one thing and shredding some chicks vag is a whole Ergo, it's pretty normal dyke bar etiquette that you either have SERIOUS stubby nails or you don't play with most of the ladies. Those that DON'T check/care are either pain slut wannabes or toppy as hell and ain't ever had a finger inside them!

 

[NikkiBastion]

Oooh, you meant being clawed in the puss? I misread it then, I thought we were talking about the back or some general area.

If we're talking nails and cat, NOPE. Get those things the hell away from there!

I have naturally long nails and the days of me fingering myself are done. Which is fine, since now I have another reason to get someone else to handle it for me

 

[mikey2much]

Here's how it turned out

I have great hopes for this series I am trying to write, not because I'm a good writer, but because I think it is a good story.

I hope I can put it down on paper as well as it plays in my mind. I know it needs some more work and in spots seems clumsy, but if I can see the story through to the end, get it all down, then I can come back and whittle away the clumsiness.

Would enjoy (I hope) any comments or insights on the story or my ability to tell it.

 

[mikey2much]

Oops, sorry,

Link is in my sig below L.I.T. World Chapter two.
thanks

 

[LucyH]

You mean those big 'ol painted nails, like in most lesbian porn???

(hint for ya, dude: Contrary to what Stella might be implying there are DAMN few real lesbians with nails! The freakin things HURT!)

It all depends... For what it's worth I got acrylic fake nails once, just for fun, and was told that my giant blue claws were nowhere near as sharp as my short natural nails.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It all depends... For what it's worth I got acrylic fake nails once, just for fun, and was told that my giant blue claws were nowhere near as sharp as my short natural nails.

Still wouldn't put them inside a pussy.

 

[estragon]

I've written a number of L stories, on the "fools rush in" principle. They didn't get bombed any worse than anything else I've written. Of course, in one case I used (with permission of course) characters brilliantly created by a very fine writer, and reviewed by him before posting (but of course any screw-ups are my sole responsibility). In the other, it was in the mind of my protagonist, a deeply-conflicted person; I thought the series was good, and what votes I got were encouraging.

Bottom line, if you have to write it, write it. In fear and trembling, if necessary, but write it. Then find someone who knows first-hand (pun intended) and will beta-read it.

 

[TE999]

I've written some Lesbian Sex stories that have done tolerably well. Many of which were vetted, at my request, by L word ladies to whom I am most grateful. I try to center on the emotional aspects of their relationships as well as how they react to the situations I put them in.

I'll never have my mentors insights on F/F relationships of course, but I've learned a few things over time about what's sensible and what isn't.