Hurt...

[whiteboy]

Well I don't know if I am going to send anymore stories after all the hate mail I got from my last story. I spent sometime on this story and all I get is called racial words like the "N" word for instance. No helpful feedback except one and for that I am grateful. All I got was a 3.14 rating for my story and then someone writes a nasty letter to me calling me an embicile.

It was my first story for crying out loud not a master piece, just a start. I don't know if I should continue to post stories of any sorts here after such a negative immature attitudes I've been witnessing.

If your going to give negative feedback add something HELPFUL! I'm still new at this sort of thing afterall...

 

[medjay]

Okay,

First of all a link to your story would be helpful if you would like anyone to read it. But I felt like helping you out and tracked it down.

The story was kind of rough around the edges but not deserving of the kind of disses you claim you were getting. My biggest advice to you goes back to the basic rule they hammer into your head at any creative writing seminar: "show, don't tell. The first half of the story is full of expository passages that don't have much flair. Don't tell us what kind of person Justin is, show us with dialogue and action (that goes for all characters). If keeps the story alive and crackling instead of sounding like a research paper.

The dialogue wasn't bad, just a little stiff in places. The trick for this is to read the dialogue out loud to yourself. If it sounds stiff to you, change it.

Other than that it's workable. Don't get discouraged by people calling you names and such. If you present a tightly written story no one can clown you, no matter how much they might dislike you or the subject matter.

 

[Quint]

Hate mail, sadly, is all part of the trade. By seeing our work in print, we have to accept both the creamy sweet happy feedback filling and the dark crunchy negative feedback cookies. And a 3.14 is NOT something to quit over, especially because this was your first story. It hurts right now, I know. I've gotten terribly malicious, terribly unproductive feedback on what I thought was a great piece. The pain eases, usually around the time you post a story that makes a 4.35. Be patient.

I also recommend a.) reading lots of other stories to see what "successful" writers do to earn their high ratings and perhaps emulate them a little, and b.) giving out lots of angry feedback so everyone can share your pain. Well, maybe not that last part (though it DOES feel good for awhile). Please don't give up though. Improve and develop a thick crusty callous around your skin. You will undoubtedly need it again. Best of luck.

 

[SexyChele]

Just for those who would like to read the story, here is the link:

www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=106460


First, I don't think you should just give up. The first story I posted here at Lit I felt was the best one I'd ever done. And yet, it has never scored above a "4", and the feedback has been mixed - all the way from "Fantastic story - please MORE!" to "This was awful, rewrite the ending and then submit it again." It does hurt a little at first because you put yourself out there in a vulnerable position. But stopping means you will never grow, and that is what eventually makes good writers!

You have an incredibly sexy imagination, and I think if you can just apply a few things, you will find you might do better. I've written a couple of stories that involved interracial sex (between White and Hispanic), and they have been my best received. However, I've never placed them in the interracial category. Also, and this is just personal on my part, I'm not big on the male humiliation factor. But, again, that's just me, but it was hard for me to get over that as I read the story. (I did try, to give an objective opinion, though)

Here are some areas where I think you might want to consider changes:

1. Keep an eye on spelling/missing words. I do this a lot, so I know how easy it is to make mistakes. But sometimes ya gotta read, re-read, and when you go through the story the 15th time, then send it to some one else. Chances are, they will find one or two errors as well!

2. Try to keep things a little realistic and believable. For example, a couple of things I noticed in this story were: (a)The wife's gullibility that her husband's penis was larger than it was. Fact is, women can determine inches, and the idea that this woman could not tell the difference put me a little on the defensive. (Yes, I do understand that you needed a reason for her to be upset with her husband, but something else would have worked just as well) (b) A penis the width of a woman's forearem? I think emphasizing that the other man's penis was very thick would have made a better point. From a woman's point of view, I suspect most did what I did - looked at their forearm and then went, "Yeah, I don't think so." (c) A blowjob and anal sex that each last an hour, with that big of a penis? OUCH! (again, a woman's point of view) I know that men might think this is highly erotic, but you will lose your feminine audience with this kind of stuff. To draw in women readers, you need to be a little more realistic and think of things from their point of view. (Yeah, I know - like I got the male point of view down, right? )

I know the feelings you were trying to convey, but I think you could have done so while appealing to both male and female readers, and keeping things a little more realistic.

3. I got a bit overwhelmed in the story. There were so many different things thrown in that I lost sight of the actual story, and wondered where you were going with it. The first part was certainly interracial, yes. The last part was BDSM, and I felt would make a whole story on its own. (with a bit more detail, of course) Also, I think because there was so much thrown in at the end, it seemed rushed and hurried. I think it took away from the earlier story.

I know there are quite a few men who are into the humiliation scene. (As I stated, it's just not something I'm into) And I think if you want to do that type of story then concentrate on that aspect of it. I don't read a lot of the interracial stuff at Lit, but I would suspect from your feedback, that folks were not expecting the humiliation/BDSM factors being so prevalent in your story. But, then again, I might be wrong. I do know that if people are expecting one type of story, and are presented with something else, they can be very vocal. Be certain your story is in the right category to attract the readers who will be interested in what you write.

Please, I hope you do continue to write and submit here to Lit. As I said, you have a wonderful imagination, and that is a writer's best friend! Just concentrate on reality (at least a little - don't forget that a large percentage of your readership will be women, and you don't want to alienate them), and keeping the story focused. If find the desire to include a lot of stuff, think about splitting it into two stories for better concentration of the subject.

Oh, and don't worry about negative feedback that offers nothing constructive. It happens to all of us. And if some one attacks you personally, then just let it roll off of you. Unfortunately, that is what anonymous feedback does - it allows people to hurl insults without having to reveal their identity. Take the praise, consider the constructive critism, and leave the rest behind.

Good luck!

 

[Couture]

The reason for the hatemail was due to your content. If you write interacial themes, you are going to get hatemail. It is a given. You will also get a lot of '1' votes for that story.

You have people out there that are racist. You also have people out there that take a piece of fiction and infer that you have a racial agenda.

Be prepared, but don't take it personal.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I wrote an interracial and picked up an email from someone who stated that "slope bitches shouldn't breed."

I wonder why this idiot even bothers.

There are rumors of a few people who pop open every interracial simply to give it a 1 and send a nasty make-David-Duke-proud email.

The simple fact is that there are racists and they believe everyone needs to know their views, particularly anyone who dares to write stories that cross themes.

My advice to you is to grow a bit thicker skin. If you put something up for public consumption, someone eventually will not only hate it and you, but they'll feel perfectly free to let you know all about it. Comes with the territory.

 

[medjay]

A comment on this whole racism thing . . .

All my stories have had interracial themes and I've posted them and recieved nothing but glowing reviews and positive feedback.

I like to think that this is just due to the quality of the writing and the sexyness of the story.

Also, depicting other races in a realistic and non-stereotypical fashion helps in making a story everyone can enjoy at a basic level without causing someone's negative attitudes to flair up.

Like I said in the post above, presenting a polished piece of work goes a long way in shutting up any potential hecklers.

 

[whiteboy]

Thanks!

Okay I thank you all for the constructive critisms and feedback. I am continuing my writing and in this piece I will attempt to make the male and female characters more realistic. The more I think about this the more I realize I have a lot of weaknesses in my writing that I need to iron out.

I wont be making the guys penis that large next time and niether will I make her as gullible as my last. I admit women aren't that stupid, of course. I didn't know that a lot of women read erotic fiction though... I thought they detested pornography. I'll put that into consideration in my next story and put more action and less explaining.

 

[jon.hayworth]

Whiteboy,

Read your story, it was not bad. Most of the criticisms like spelling have already been made. Don't just rely on the Spellchecker it is dumb. Some words spell 2 ways meaning different things.

Proper names need capital letters like Sparta's Sound!

I do agree you almost began a second story - erotica / pornography is like sex when it's over it's over don't draw it out in an attempt to round the story off - you had the makings of a Part 2 in that ending.

Remember the show don't tell, consider he could have claimed to have an average sized cock, the story would have still flowed and been believable. - Not four table spoons of cum but howabout. "... her mouth filled with his cum as fast as she swallowed it seemed to refill dripping out of her lips trickling down her chin to land on her tits..." etc

Hope that is not too painful - I gave you a 5 for a first story you deserve that. Remember posting on Lit is far less traumatic than submitting to magazines and receiving rejection slips.

jon

 

[whiteboy]

was planning...

I was planning on actually making it into a two part series but was afraid that it would have just gotten drawn out then. Good idea about the spellchecker. The thing is I have the paperback kind. I've also just gotten a theusarus and hope this improves my writing. With my next story I am revising it and putting more action in it. I might even change the original plot line.

Never thought of submitting my work to a magazine before. Do you get payed for that? If so how much exactly?

 

[Guest]

Just what the fuck do you mean "I realize women aren't that stupid" ? Do you mean aren't stupid at all? Damn!

 

[whiteboy]

to unregistered

The point is it's just a story. Maybe you need to see a psycologist to find out the difference between reality and fantasy.

 

[SexyChele]

Just what the fuck do you mean "I realize women aren't that stupid" ? Do you mean aren't stupid at all? Damn!

Gettin' a little testy, aren't we, Unreg? Whiteboy didn't mean like that at all, and I think if you re-read his comments you will pick that up as well.

Now, get that second cup of coffee and calm down a bit.

 

[whiteboy]

well...

Well if some people didn't like my last story I don't think these same people will like my next. It's going to be an interracial non-consent!

A lot more action though.

 

[SexyChele]

Re: well...

Well if some people didn't like my last story I don't think these same people will like my next. It's going to be an interracial non-consent!

A lot more action though.

Actually, that sounds pretty interesting! I think the readership at Literotica is so varied that it is difficult to know what they will like. Like I always say - write to please yourself, write because you like to write. You may not be the most popular author at Lit, but your work will most likely be among the best because of the passion you've poured into it.

Let us know when you newest story is up, whiteboy?

 

[CHEWEY]

RE:Negative Feedback!

Hi Whiteboy, I feel your pain buddy. I got my first bad feedback on like my 10th story. I write alot of interacial stuff, I love it. I , like you, was NEVER writing again! I pouted, I cried, I cursed like a sailor, then I got over it They also called me names, that were not warranted. Why some idiot would read a story about something they did not like is beyond me! But , Ya gotta think if it's anon, that means the person writing it could not write a grocery list! I have found that there are 5 kinds of people on Lit(which I love BTW)1) You have the ones that hate everything that dares to threaten thier fav authors status.2) The ones that think thier work is actually better than it is! 3) The ones that praise you , just because they don't want to hurt your feelings! 4) The ones, that couldn't write a recipe but think they know it all! 5) Last but certainly not least, are the ones that have the knowledge to try to help you and don't mind sharing little tips. But, that's okay cause we need all of them, in order to be better writer's. I decided to butch up, write what I wanted, finally figure out that there are no pulitzer's for erotica So do your own thing Buddy, turn off your anon feedback and write to your hearts content Good luck!