JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2001
- Posts
- 27,360
Yes, folks, your intrepid Jazz Man has again managed to give more evidence as to why he is, as previously reported, a "steaming pile of suck"!
So I'm getting ready for work this morning, groggy, as is my usual mental state before 11 AM or so. Wash the bod, brush the teeth, make the self all presentable for the maggots at work, sing the happy, incoherent tune to the clock radio. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. It's a Mary Freaking Poppins Morning.
Then tragedy struck.
I pulled on my jeans and, little did I know, Mr Winky has decided to do a little peeking out of the boxer shorts. (Y'all know right where this is going. You may begin your pre-wince warmups now). I buttoned up the jeans, then zipped up the zipper.
(cue the dramatic minor chord)
Yep...zipped part of ol' Mr Winky right in the zipper. Actually, part of ol' Mr. Winky's partner, ol' Mr. Scrotum. Not much, as it happened, but enough. Plenty.
There was pain. There was agony. There was a lot of hopping around trying to frantically unzip the fly without causing more of an incident (think "There's Something About Mary". I was). There was cussing. There was more cussing.
So I can safely say that the worst pain is out of the way for the day. It's a nice, liberating feeling, knowing that even if I get hit by a bus today, it ain't gonna hurt any worse than zipping my Johnson up in the fly of my jeans.
So I'm getting ready for work this morning, groggy, as is my usual mental state before 11 AM or so. Wash the bod, brush the teeth, make the self all presentable for the maggots at work, sing the happy, incoherent tune to the clock radio. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. It's a Mary Freaking Poppins Morning.
Then tragedy struck.
I pulled on my jeans and, little did I know, Mr Winky has decided to do a little peeking out of the boxer shorts. (Y'all know right where this is going. You may begin your pre-wince warmups now). I buttoned up the jeans, then zipped up the zipper.
(cue the dramatic minor chord)
Yep...zipped part of ol' Mr Winky right in the zipper. Actually, part of ol' Mr. Winky's partner, ol' Mr. Scrotum. Not much, as it happened, but enough. Plenty.
There was pain. There was agony. There was a lot of hopping around trying to frantically unzip the fly without causing more of an incident (think "There's Something About Mary". I was). There was cussing. There was more cussing.
So I can safely say that the worst pain is out of the way for the day. It's a nice, liberating feeling, knowing that even if I get hit by a bus today, it ain't gonna hurt any worse than zipping my Johnson up in the fly of my jeans.
