humorous erotic poetry

[Sebastian Sanders]

I realise this goes way against the grain, but I'm looking for erotic poetry with a sense of humour.

Also, I like the poetry that is in a rather strict form, with rhyme, a certain number of syllables per line, and emphasis on the correct syllables.

Most of the poetry I have seen sofar on literotica seems the complete opposite. It seems that most poetry is free form, and is not satirical or farcical.

Any poems you can recommend? Do you have any tips for writing this sort of stuff? Do you have an opinion as to why there isn't more rhyming, humorous poetry here?

If you do like the odd silly rhyme, let me know. Perhaps even give your reply in rhyme. Whatever.

BTW I'm a newbie here.

Cheers

 

[WickedEve]

Judo

Try out Judo's poetry. I believe she has what you're looking for. If I have time later, I'll give you specific ones.

 

[PAUL C]

lost something?

what are you looking for down there WE?

 

[PAUL C]

I tried to be funny, once

my attempt.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=22200

 

[Angeline]

Erotic Silliness

Eve's recommendation for JUDO's poetry is a great one. Here's one from our pal karmadog that made me laugh like a lunatic when I read it.

The Hallmark Quickie by karmadog

Oh and here's one of mine:

Coney Island Laundry Room by Angeline

 

[WickedEve]

Here are 2 for you S.S.

My Twat's Been Snatched
by Elda Furry ©

A Dildo for All Seasons: Rowdy Ted
by The Poets ©

Paul, I misplaced my tuba again.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oh no... It's The Ted...

 

[WickedEve]

Oh no... It's The Ted...

Pay no attention to her. Once you come to this board there's no way to avoid The Ted.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Pfft!

Your invectives are futile. I'd like to see anyone trying not to pay attention to me.



You're right about The Ted, though... He is inescapable.



Welcome a-board, mr. Sanders.

 

[OT]

Sebastion,

I'll boldly offer up a couple of mine that should meet
your rhyme/syllable/meter/humor criteria.

I'll not be so bold as to call them "erotic poetry"

Tuesday Tryst

Ice Cream

and Nice Butt

And then of course, Angeline's
Dispos-a-Girl is a classic

I don't recall if they rhyme, but I remember laughing out loud reading many of Eve's contributions.

 

[WickedEve]

I looked too and I think I found one that was funny and rhymed but by the time I read through the others I had forgotten which poem it was...
Does Senna have any funny rhyming poems? hee hee

 

[Sebastian Sanders]

Judo

Try out Judo's poetry. I believe she has what you're looking for.

Thankyou. Yes it's great I found some good ones.

The Hallmark Quickie by karmadog is also good, as is Coney Island Laundry Room by Angeline (that one is very good).

OT, I like your poems a lot.

Thanks everyone for your help!

--

For a while I've wanted to write a poem containing the following lines:

Glancing at his throbbing cock
Eliza knew she couldn't stop

I think that's quite funny, in a cheesy kind of way.

I've written an entire poem called "Eliza" and I've submitted it. I'll give a link when I can. It says "approved" now but it hasn't appeared yet.

Edit: here it is

 

[OT]

Thanks for the kind words, Sebastion,

I know you were looking for rhymes, but.... even though I failed to find an Eve Rhyme, if you read this one from the
Wicked one, you'll forget that you cared about rhymes. (and when you finish laughing, you'll pause for minute, and then perhaps, become afraid ... very afraid.)

Incredible Edible Male

Does Senna have any funny rhyming poems? hee hee

Isn't he the guy that writes those long wordy Love Sonnets ?

 

[Senna Jawa]

Does Senna have any funny rhyming poems? hee hee

I don't know (in general, yes). You may check this one out anyway:

          About a sweet and busted one

 

[Senna Jawa]

Does Senna have any funny rhyming poems? hee hee

I can't find anything off hand. So, this one has to do in the meantime:



    A no win situation


                Paintings and art hang around -- an oasis,
                In every corner flowers in vases -- Why
                does a guy shit on the fan? A good question.
                You're advised to leave the room then.

                But when it's your fan and room and all
                You shout DIE!!! and grab the guy
                By his neck and pants in a futile attempt
                To clean the walls -- it makes no sense,
                The public has you in their contempt,
                The bastard wiggles, claims innocence,
                And damn!
                He keeps shitting on that fan.


Senna Jawa
1991-06-07

 

[OT]

    A no win situation
Senna Jawa
1991-06-07

(obviously not erotic) it easily fall into the funny category
Do you have any more like that ?

 

[Guest]

Humour is so subjective and individual. Eroticism isn't really cut out for the funnies but I, humbly, offer two which are intended to be - at least - tongue in cheek.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=34081

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=38762

This is the very 1st time, after all these years, of throwing my work out. Feeling vulnerable......

 

[WickedEve]

I remember Reflections on a Shaved Ham Sandwich when it first came out. I think I was the one who mentioned it on the new poems thread last year... Anyway, I liked it then and I like it now.

Hippocratic Hypocrite is fine as a poem, and I have no problems with it, but I don't think it's humorous.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

One of my favourites, currently #2 in the Top List:

God, I Love Football! by sweetsubsarahh ©

 

[WickedEve]

One of my favourites, currently #2 in the Top List:

God, I Love Football! by sweetsubsarahh ©

Just read it. It's nice to read a poem that's fun and sexy and about a loving couple.

 

[Guest]

I remember Reflections on a Shaved Ham Sandwich when it first came out. I think I was the one who mentioned it on the new poems thread last year... Anyway, I liked it then and I like it now.

Hippocratic Hypocrite is fine as a poem, and I have no problems with it, but I don't think it's humorous.

Thank you WE. I appreciate the comments.

The last verse of HH is supposed to be a humerous twist.

 

[Guest]

One of my favourites, currently #2 in the Top List:

God, I Love Football! by sweetsubsarahh ©

I just saw this thread - thank you so much Lauren.Hynde (and WickedEve, too!)

Thanks for the mention and the sweet compliments!

 

[ReBeLBeLLe]

Saw this thread and just figured I'd have a little fun with it...

Twas a special night
for me and my love
To dinner I took her
my sweet turtledove

Over the candles
I looked into her eyes
Never believing the night
would end in cries

Our stomachs were sated
our appetites fed
It wasn't long
before we went home to bed

We rollicked and rolled
tasting each others delights
The only thing lacking
was the warm firelight

She crawled down my body
her tongue leaving a wet trail
I writhed and I wiggled
all to no avail

ANd that's when it happened
I'll never forget
I tried to squirm away
broke out in a cold sweat

She thought I was excited
by her silken tongue
Thinking her movements
would soon have me undone

There wasn't a sound
why not even a peep
When between my legs
something did leak

Twas the beans I know
that caused my distress
And she was right there
to catch the gas in excess

So one thing I've learned
to my own mortification
If you go out to eat
don't eat beans without fortification

 

[Angeline]

Just Posted This One

Been in the mood to write silly erotic and so, here's what happened:

Toyland

My toy said to your boy:
Over here now baby, don’t
Be shy. That’s a phony ploy.
Just be close and you won’t

Be sorry.

They went out with a flurry.
Drinks and dinner too, and
Now look it’s just me and
You bring that blue over by

My red.

I figure what--two hours, maybe
Three? Get in the bed and I’ll
Commence to whirr; we’ll see
If all those twisty things--those

Nobblies--

Can make my stir say purr.
Say you got an extra double A?
I’m running low; I wouldn’t want
To be ohmless. Thank you that’ll

Just do.

What? Oooh you sure know how
To do the twist like you dry off
My back with a towel and crush
Out a butt--you want to what?

Ok.

But hurry up and right there
I’m feeling so--oh gosh--aware
That oh buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ahhh shhhh!
They’re back!

Act like it was all an

Act.

 

[Sweetwood]

How about Sticky in the Dark

sweetwood