How's it FEEL to be a bottom??

[hrdon]

Help me out guys, I really, really want to know. I've fantasized for years about this. Does it hurt bad? I've used some things and have had orgasms before, but never the real thing. Please, tell me all about it...

 

[Gi_Venus]

The first time having anal for me was extremely painful but by the end of our love making I was enjoying it very much. Just make sure your partner takes it slow allowing your body to adjust.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

If you use a lot of "Toys" the day before or that same day you should find only minor discomfort at first which rapidly goes away. Especially if your toys are near the same size as him.

 

[Gi_Venus]

If you use a lot of "Toys" the day before or that same day you should find only minor discomfort at first which rapidly goes away. Especially if your toys are near the same size as him.

Now if I had thought of that then.

 

[hrdon]

I haven't used anything really big yet, but no matter what I use I instantly get hard as a rock....I love it sooo much

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

I love the feeling of a real cock, nothing else like it. Toys are fine but there are never any suprises.

 

[Never]

Just clarify. You can be a bottom without having anal sex and you can have anal sex without being a bottom.

That is, unless two communities have developed different meanings for the same word. Quite possible.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

Very true, but judging from hdron's first post I think it was safe to assume he was speaking of anal. Of course I have been known to assume to much and he may be talking about emotional pain or something to that nature :shrug:

 

[none2_none2]

Very true, but judging from hdron's first post I think it was safe to assume he was speaking of anal. Of course I have been known to assume to much and he may be talking about emotional pain or something to that nature :shrug:

That is a very good assumption -- especially given what is in his bio and the other comments.

From my experiences as a top, I would say for a beginner that you better make sure you know the guy who is going to top you. And I don't mean just a couple hours of sweet talk on a one night stand. Some tops can be real jerks and not stop when the bottom is in pain or uncomfortable. Yes it is VERY frustrating to have to stop in the throws of heat, but if you are any kind of decent human being you just do. Another good thing I have heard to help a beginner is bottom on top position. That way the bottom sets the pace and adjust as necessary. Remember not put all your weight on the top, otherwise you'll cut off the top's circulation. I also remember when I was young and the stereotype was you have to be well-endowed to be a top. It took me a couple years before I got past that BS. Any guy can be a good top if he puts his heart into it. The top should make love to the person, and not just go for it to get your own rocks off. It also helps to relax the guy you are going to mount with lots of foreplay, and a full body rubdown can help towards that goal.

For the bottom, I would make sure you are clean as you don't want to spoil the mood by embarassing yourself. Also I had many guys tell me that their first time wasn't as great as the porn stories make it out to be. Rather, they really got to like a guy and that after a few times when they really really got to know the person better, they craved it.

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Oops, I forgot something that I think we all overlooked. Yes condoms are a drag, but until you are in a longer term relationship monogamous relationship with someone you know is negative for sure, you have to insist that the top wear one. That also means plenty of lube and that the lube should not be oil based like vasceline as it could cause the condom to disintegrate. Even though many are "living" with HIV, it isn't something you would want to catch. Besides HIV there are also other STD's that you can get without a condom. Again, this isn't meant as a scare tactic, but just very important info. It is also very easy to have somoene say they are negative or that they will pull out early. It is your life and your health, so don't just trust people by what they say.

 

[sachiaiko]

VERY Good points...

None2 Made some great points (as i notice he almost always does. Cheers, None2.)

For me, it may have been a touch different as i am a chick, but i figured i'd add my two cents in because Anal sex is anal sex. For me, we started out on our sides in a 'spooning' possition the first time for anal sex. ALOT of touching, using fingers, stretching and moving, toys, alot of touch, alot of lube, and when i finally felt ready to take that step, *I* was in control. He possitioned himself in the right place, but i choose when to push back, i choose when i was ready, and i wouldn't let him move at all until i was certain i was okay.

Now, at the time he was my hubby, so we didn't use a condom. But condoms are important, and also make clean up super easy too so think of them possitively, not negatively.

I think besides condoms, the biggest point to make is that choose a lover who will let YOU decide when you're ready. No one night stands, i just think that you're asking for rough and tumble, something not good for a first time, if you don't know the guy well and he doesnt really CARE seriously about your feelings and emotions and if you're in any physical pain. Lots of toys will help keep and get you open, and a gentle and attentive lover will make it a wonderful experience to remember.

As for how it feels, i'm a girlie so i can only give you my perspective, but i will. I love Anal sex, it makes everything more intense. Normally i have a hard time reaching orgasm with a partner, during anal sex, it's quite easy with any vaginal/clit stimulation. It feels full and sensual, tight and hot and incredible. Your whole body sort of hums with being filled up. Its an incredible sensation and i know not all females enjoy it - and i know its different for me then for another man, but i figured i'd put my two cents in anyhow.

Hope i was helpful

Nikki

 

[hrdon]

Oh I'm defenitely talking about anal sex. I want to lay on my back with a guy pushing my legs back into my chest, seeing the lust in his eyes and his hard cock sliding in and realizing he wants me as bad as I want him...

 

[hokieclimber]

Luckily my first time was with a friend that I really trusted.

We started with him on top and me on my stomach, but that wasn't working. We ended up with me on top so I could control how fast he was going into me. After I got him all the way in and adjusted (and believe me, it took a WHILE to get him all the way in) we were able to change positions. It hurt a bit at first but it mostly went away.

So, to echo what everyone says, use a lot of lube and go very slow. For me, I also had to mentally tell myself to relax, since I was nervous and tensing up.

 

[willingtotry]

the first time was with a friend and I sat on his dick and just slowly let myself down on him. you can control your own pace and get comfortable. oh, and don't even get me started on how good it feels! hehe