How?

[devils_daughter]

This is going to be a stupid question but I kinda need some advice on where to go next. My bf and I have experimented in very light bondage (basic tying, cuffs and some melted candle wax) but I've wanted to get deeper into it for a long time now, since even before I met this guy. We both seem to like both dominating and submitting depending on our mood at the time..any ideas?

 

[Joe Schmoe]

Attend munches, talk to other switches in regards to D/s. Maybe you can find others that will take you under their wing to further your exploration in bondage. You will find all of these at a munch.

 

[devils_daughter]

It proves how inexperienced I am when I say that I have no idea what the a munch is *shame*

 

[His_pita]

Do lots of reading. The library here is an excellent place to start learning all you can.Click Me

 

[devils_daughter]

Thanks for that, especially as it has a section on blood play. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and my bf feels the same, the main problem is that I've had some self harm issues that I've only recently begun to control so it's a bit of risk, it's nice to be able to read about other experiences without just diving into something that could be a very bad idea.

 

[Rrrosyn]

Use a very extensive BDSM checklist.

Not only does this provide you with your common interests, it gives you a lot of things to look up and ideas on things you may not have considered before.

 

[chris9]

It proves how inexperienced I am when I say that I have no idea what the a munch is *shame*

A munch is a get-together of people who are into BDSM. It's usually held at a restaurant or such.

Attend munches, talk to other switches in regards to D/s. Maybe you can find others that will take you under their wing to further your exploration in bondage. You will find all of these at a munch.

If you want to attend munches or include a third (whether as 'advisor' or 'teacher') go ahead. But this is in no way an obligation to learn about BDSM. The library here is a good place to start.
Don't feel that you have to do anything in a certain way. You should talk about safety (like having safewords when playing, checking on the circulation of bound limbs) and about your limits (things you don't ever want to do). Other than that do what feels right to both of you. This requires constant communication, before, during and after any activity.
If you have any specific questions, search the net, the library here, ask other people (if you don't know anybody IRL, post a thread here).
Most important: Have fun!

 

[s'lara]

Use a very extensive BDSM checklist.

Not only does this provide you with your common interests, it gives you a lot of things to look up and ideas on things you may not have considered before.

This is good advice.

A checklist can be found here. There are other checklists available that are quite detailed and you will find a number of them on the web.

Once you and your boyfriend have had a chance to review each others checklists, a good long talk is in order. Please be sure to be as honest on your checklist as possible. If a urination scene isn't your bag, say so. However, don't be embarassed to let your partner (and vice versa) know what interests you no matter how outlandish (or mild) it may be.

From there, take the time to investigate and educate yourself on the practices you will engage in. Other than that, you and your boyfriend should navigate new territory carefully and no one can tell you how to maneuver your relationship. Since you two are the best to judge when you're ready, i'd be hard pressed to tell you how to map out the nature of your sexual relationship.

Good luck to you both. Safe explorations.

lara

 

[Rrrosyn]

This is good advice.

A checklist can be found here. There are other checklists available that are quite detailed and you will find a number of them on the web.

Once you and your boyfriend have had a chance to review each others checklists, a good long talk is in order. Please be sure to be as honest on your checklist as possible. If a urination scene isn't your bag, say so. However, don't be embarassed to let your partner (and vice versa) know what interests you no matter how outlandish (or mild) it may be.

From there, take the time to investigate and educate yourself on the practices you will engage in. Other than that, you and your boyfriend should navigate new territory carefully and no one can tell you how to maneuver your relationship. Since you two are the best to judge when you're ready, i'd be hard pressed to tell you how to map out the nature of your sexual relationship.

Good luck to you both. Safe explorations.

lara

Just a note to follow up here:

j and I still use a checklist. We re-visit it every 3-6 months or as things change and our interests grow. I may learn he wants to be paddled harder or softer and he may learn I am picking up an interest in something like orgasm denial. Checklists are really quite handy.

 

[sharon_2005]

You could try some simple shibari as a started..

Thats a Chinese bondage that don't include pain.

Its fun to learn with each other and very erotic, me and my hubby practice it often