how you masturbated today?

Nothing at all Today.
Very strange feeling of needing to masturbate but nothing is getting me going at all today. Chat has been a bit slow, threads a bit meh (not offending anyone - just my mood) even my go to hasn’t worked - but I still have blue balls!!!
Would you like me to run my tongue up and down your shaft and swirl my tongue around the head while I plunge a finger up your anus?
 
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