Nobody Special's wife
Just Peeking
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2000
- Posts
- 2,702
The Secrets of Women's Language: Keywords and their meaning.
Fine: This is the word they use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut us up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that the hockey game is going to last before we take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."
Go ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and will end with the word "fine."
Go ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
Loud sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement that we don't quite understand. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."
Soft sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that we actually understand. She is content. Don't be stupid and move or breathe and she will stay content.
Oh: This word is one that you never want to here. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "oh" before a statement, fucking run, don't walk, run. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing our shit out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and "go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
That's okay: Guys don't be confused by this one, it's a tricky one. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for what ever it is that you did to piss her off. "That's okay" is often used with the word "fine" and used in conjunction with a raised-eyebrow "go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Please do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay." But usually it just shows our stupidity to find a good come back
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
Thanks a lot: This is much different than "thanks." A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."
Fine: This is the word they use at the end of any argument that they feel they are right about but need to shut us up. NEVER use fine to describe how woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
Five minutes: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that the hockey game is going to last before we take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
Nothing: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."
Go ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "nothing" and will end with the word "fine."
Go ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "nothing" and "fine" and she will talk to you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
Loud sigh: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement that we don't quite understand. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing."
Soft sigh: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that we actually understand. She is content. Don't be stupid and move or breathe and she will stay content.
Oh: This word is one that you never want to here. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "oh" before a statement, fucking run, don't walk, run. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing our shit out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and "go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
That's okay: Guys don't be confused by this one, it's a tricky one. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for what ever it is that you did to piss her off. "That's okay" is often used with the word "fine" and used in conjunction with a raised-eyebrow "go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
Please do: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "that's okay." But usually it just shows our stupidity to find a good come back
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.
Thanks a lot: This is much different than "thanks." A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."
