How well do our men perform???

[SexyCanadianGuy]

performing

One woman yawned right in the middle of sex. Does that count?

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

ROFLMAO

 

[Cheyenne]

WOW. I'm impressed you got this many responses.

Hey, have any of you guys ever heard "Don't worry, that happens to all men once and awhile. I don't mind." ??

 

[OUTSIDER]

"THE WORST".....

was when this real hot woman I'd been after for ages asked me half way through a fuck to call her mummy, sorry but it just freaked me out, I was young and rather new to the sex thing.
BTW, Eeeeeeewwwwwww call me mummy.

 

[Bs]

PLEASE! OH,PLEASE!

Cheyenne said "Hey, have any of you guys ever heard "Don't worry, that happens to all men once and awhile. I don't mind." ??"

Tell me thats not a bad thing?!?!!?!!?!!!!?

And women really mean it.

 

[Thumper]

She said...

"I never had to work this hard for a piece of ass!"

I was suffering from a bit of performance anxiety....no problem that is when a tongue "comes" in handy...she may have not been fulfilled completely...but she did come.

She could have reciprocated and maybe something "wood" have happened but she said as she was kissing my belly, "If I was drunk I would suck your cock"....Oh well...she was honest LOL

 

[Cheyenne]

PLEASE! OH, PLEASE!

Cheyenne said "Hey, have any of you guys ever heard "Don't worry, that happens to all men once and awhile. I don't mind." ??"

Tell me thats not a bad thing?!?!!?!!?!!!!?

And women really mean it.

Of course we do.

 

[Sammyjo]

I have asked someone if 5 minutes was enough time for us to have sex, I was kidding of course, but he just won't put up or shut up.
Sammyjo quote:


Sigh......I wish the people in here would just stop BOASTING....i KNOW you aren't getting a whole five minutes of sex at a time!!!I know it!!!sob

Did I say that or are you making fun of me? cuz if you are making fun of me, I have to warn you that PMS is a nasty thing where I am concerned. Umm...if I did say it, I apologize...but I don't remember it.

 

[Gaucho]

At the risk of shutting this thread down completely, I will admit that I once had a woman vomit on me when I came in her mouth.

I suppose you could consider that a form of rejection.

What? You wanted an honest response, didn't you?

 

[OUTSIDER]

OH man and you know how much stumach acid burns the end of your cock....ouch

 

[CRaZy]

Oh my god!!!! Reduced to vomit stories????OK...a "friend" of mine (you will see why i use the term loosely) was trying to convince me that hippies should be expunged from the earth. His reasoning???He was once doing the how's your father on the gravel cement beside his motorbike with a hippie. He was very drunk and came upon a moment where he had to lean to the side and vomit, at no stage losing rhythm so he claims. After that, the hippie proceeded to kiss him. Ergo, hippies are unwelcome beings. His own completely abominable behaviour seems to have been lost on him.

 

[Expertise]

A little more of the truth

I have mentioned before that I was confronted with this little show stopper durig fore play....

She: Theres just no magic

Exp*getting defensive*: Whattya' want card tricks!?

I should mention that she probably had a point. I had gone nappy time twice while she was blowing me. Not so much a comment on her technique, or lack there of. But that I had been druk off my ass the first two times I had went home with her.

 

[livin_simple]

Former spouse, through nine years of marriage, at least once each three years claimed I was not a satisfactory lover. Really did wonders for my self-esteem.

Partners since then have claimed best lover they've every been with and actually became aggressive demanding more.

Definately a go-figure situation. Isn't there a certain normalized standard for comparison?? How can you know if you're really unsatisfactory or the best thing since sliced bread??

The funniest thing I ever heard was my female neighbors comment to her husband - courtesy of the paper thin walls of the apartment.
The following 'transcript' is all in her voice:
"Unh, Unh, Unh, <Yes, these are moans of sexual pleasure>
"Are you almost through yet? I've gotta go pee really bad!"
"Unh, Unh, Unh"
I had to stifle my laughter as I think it would have REALLY ruined that special moment between them.

 

[Thumper]

I woulda...

turned on the faucet and miked it into the stereo and turned it up loud...

But then again I can be an asshole hehehehe

 

[Skibum]

I once had a woman fall asleep while I was licking her. She didn't say much, though.

 

[CRaZy]

Livin_simple's "gotta go pee" story reminds me of that fabulous scene in Seinfeld where George realises he needs to go to the bathroom. He abandons the woman, mid-act, and leaves the house because her bathroom doesn't have a big enough "buffer zone". LMAO