How unnerving was your first bdsm experience?

[WriterDom]

I guess this is mainly for subs, but if the PYL's want to share it is ok.

I didn't really have much of a beginning. I was into spanking before I knew of bdsm.

But I had one sub come and sit in the car a half mile away for 45 minutes trying to get up the nerve. And another who was visibly upset to the point of trembling.

 

[shy slave]

My first r/l time I was shaking so much, had been spanked before but found him and it pretty dull and make-believe.

The first time for real BDSM i went to his house. left early and still got lost.
I Was shaking when I got there. Changed into my high heels and tottered into his house.
He could see how nervous I was but did not comment (thank God).
Had a glass of wine to calm down and then he asked me to undress.
He was so ordinary and normal about the whole process, almost clinical, it relaxed me more than the wine.
Had he been caring or sweet I probably would have shook or laughed.
Once we got into the scene, it was everything I had imagined but he was such a cold fish; i could not have had a relationship outside the scene with him.
Only met him a few times but each time was technically good if lacking in warmth.

 

[snowy ciara]

I'll let you know as soon as I have one. lol

Seriously, I had a boyfriend who was a dominant personality, but we never really "scened" per se. And I've not found someone to try this with yet.

 

[morninggirl5]

It wasn't unnerving at all. Probably because D knew me well enough to not give me any advance warning or time to freak out.

 

[fallon2]

Hmmm

Not sure i didn't ask her!

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

I was good up until the pain aspect and the nipple clamps where brought out.. Then I couldn't stop trembleing or babbleing. All in all I doubt I'll eve be so nervouse again.

 

[Valcorie]

nerves

i was very nervous approching the room we were meeting in. However, i have played with the person one once before and although it was mainly just vinilla fun (but what fun it was) It gave me something to expect. After i was there for the scene i was a lot calmer. He went over the things he was going to use and explained things So i kind of knew what to expect. i got to try all of the clamps and gadgits for a short period to figure out what i was comfortable with right off.

i did find though that i was a little more dominate than i thought. i may try that in the future.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Since my first time was just a few weeks ago its still very fresh in my memory! Nervous? OMG I was trembling in my shoes, my mouth was like a desert, my legs were cramping from just sitting in the car! But he was sweet and charming and really put me at ease. Til he opened the toy bag. OMG - I thought I would die. Here it was all the things I'd been dreaming of for all those years! Spreader bars, ropes - lots of rope, blindfolds, ball gags, more clamps than I could imagine, floggers, riding crops, leather restraints. And it was really going to happen! But he went slowly, stopped and checked on me periodically and never went too far. First strike of the flogger and I knew I was right where I belonged. He's turned it up a notch each time since then. Truely awesome experience.

 

[Mortar Forker]

Great ideas!

Although I've done some spanking of girlfriends, I never got into whips, clamps etc. I need to read up more on this. I would like to experiment to see how turned on I would get clamping a girl's soft, sensitive nipple and watching her grimace in pain...especially if it was left on a long time...LOL

Question: Does the pain enhance your sexual desire? What about being whipped...does that make you more obedient and eager to please?

The attached pic does turn me on and I would definitely usethe cute girl the same way.

 

[AvaAdore]

Re: Great ideas!

Question: Does the pain enhance your sexual desire? What about being whipped...does that make you more obedient and eager to please?

yes and yes. but that might just be me


i think my experience with BDSM came on very gradually that i cant remember an actual first.

the closest "first time" was when i told my ex that i liked to be spanked. so we tried it, but it was kind of stupid. there wasnt really any mood. it was missing the actual D/s factor, which i needed.

 

[fyrehardt]

*sigh* well...i can't say my first experience was unnerving so much as....unexpected? i was playing online with someone i have known for years and all of a sudden things just evolved.......and since then we haven't looked back. For me it was more of a shock/how the fuck did you know thing. i never had a chance to be nervous...

 

[sweet4poison]

my first

it was after i asked him if he would please let me be his slave, and he had me meet him. He looked at me, and looked away. No smile. That made me so nervous... i guess that was the unnerving part was waiting to see if i shocked him, or he thought i was a sickie...He had only ever been vanilla... But it was his absolute enjoyment of pinning my nipples to the ground and and making me submit that i KNEW i knew he had to be my Master...
He finally looked at me at said so ... you need to be my bitch. I said yes...
It has taken me a long time to get him comfortable with spanking me and pulling my hair. But he took to nipple torture quite well.

 

[Netzach]

I can't really pinpoint a first. I was very surprised to find out I'm a bondage slut of sorts, didn't think I'd enjoy the bottom side as much as I did from a basic, physical perspective.

 

[FungiUg]

I drove for three hours to meet the woman I first played with in a D/s fashion. I wasn't so much unnerved as impatient and wound up.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Re: Hmmm

Not sure i didn't ask her!

Wanna share yours?

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

My first experience was when I flew to be with Him. I was scared out of my mind!! My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing. I could have passed out.

It was His first time too. I think He was probably feeling the same way.

I do remember walking into the room and He'd rearranged mattresses on the floor and set them up just so. He'd bought me a teddy that I was to wear and He then blindfolded me. I was totally at His mercy. He made me feel totally at ease. He was definitely in charge. Ropes, floggers and paddles.

He loved giving spankings.


So did I!!

 

[shyly curious]

It was not unnerving, it was a case of knowing I needed it and I had a pretty good idea what She wanted.

(okay, I'll admit it, being naked and kneeling on the floor waiting for her to arrive, not moving or speaking when she walked in, wondering if she would be pleased, did cause a few butterflies.)

What was unnerving was discovering when the door to "sub-space" opened, I fell headfirst into bliss, and actually passed out from pleasure at one point.

Some things happened that day that have not happened since, they remain very fond memories and aspirations for the future.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't think I was nervous so much as impatient to finally experience in real time what had already been a long held desire in fantasy and mental exploration. I was not disappointed, though remember from that moment understanding what people meant when they referred to it as addictive....I just wanted more and more in a greedy, insatiable way. Have to say though, it was no preparation or indication of the 24/7 bliss I share now with the Masterful One.....that is heaven on earth and then some.

Catalina

 

[Birch Twig]

I was 19 and she was 17 and we had been together in an excellent vanilla relation for 3 months when I told her about my little "secret". To my surprise, she did not consider me a sick pervert and said she would have me as a slave 2 days later. I was in the military service and remember crawling through a muddy trench with grenades exploding all around me while wetting my underwear due to thinking ahead of what my GF would do to me next time we met.

It was a little disappointing, as she did was not yet skilled in the art of tieing and whipping. But with some communication, we soon learned how to make it enjoyable. And we tried to switch roles and found out that we liked that too.

We are currently about twice the age as when we started, but due to kids, we can only play S/M games about 5 times a year. The good thing about it is that both of us are switches. Even though she is mainly vanilla, she is never as horny as whan we play S/M games, no matter if she's top or bottom.

 

[barcaboy]

This thread made me laugh. Bad memories transmuted into anecdote.

My first BDSM experience was purchased. I had just broken up with a (vanilla) girlfriend, and decided to try the services of a professional dominatrix.

Unfortunately, dominatrixes not being licensed professionals, this turned out to be a less than satisfactory experience.

Picture a woman resembling a professional wrestler wearing a blonde harpo marx wig, brusque, all business, working out of a closet-sized dungeon,with anger issues the size of those old Life magazines.

I knew I was a freak when I continued pursuing my BDSM interests anyway.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

How unnerving?

LOL... it was unnerving as hell. I've told the story before, but not how it affected me at the beginning, so...

At 14, I was already - to some extent - aware that I liked smacking girls' butts. It was a quick little "correction" of something I didn't approve of, or a gesture of affection. However, when that brat (also 14) kicked that ball into my groin, and then laughed about it, I yanked her across my thighs and gave her a good spanking, until my hand hurt, and I let her up. She ran off, as I've said before, alternately crying and turning to cuss at me.

But... a couple of days later, as I walked past her home, she opened the door and asked if I wanted to come in. When I came in and sat on the couch, she promptly laid herself across my lap, pushed her shorts down, looked over her shoulder and said, "Do it again?"

My thoughts were racing like an ungoverned engine, and I just sat there, for all of two - maybe 1 1/2 - seconds. My hands were trembling as I put one on the small of her back and the other raised, seemingly of its own accord, into the air above her panty-clad bottom. By the third swat, though... I was enjoying my first full-blown consensual spanking, and so was she.

That, by the way, was when I figured out (consciously, at least) that spanking a bare or barely-covered bottom was (a) a helluva lot more fun, and (b) easier on my hand than denim.

 

[Jack Eagle]

I was good up until the pain aspect and the nipple clamps where brought out.. Then I couldn't stop trembleing or babbleing. All in all I doubt I'll eve be so nervouse again.

If done with respect and properly, I think you would cherish the niple clamps.

I love them and even when removed, remind me the next day...

PM if you wish details.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Let's see...I remember her thrashing around and easily coming out of the torn sheets I had used to tie her wrists. "Ooops, timeout!" I looked around my dorm room and quickly procurred two electrical cords to provide somewhat more resistance.

...and more stuff like that!

We alternated between giggling at each other's reactions and chattering about what we would each do differently next time. Fairly awkward but also intimately charming.

 

[A Desert Rose]

My first was pretty unpleasant, actually. And too personal and painful to share here.

My last one was pretty unpleasant too, come to think of it.

Yes Sir, you cad... thanks for the memories.

 

[RJMasters]

omg

Well to tell you the truth, my first experience was a surprise. It was the first time I really saw myself for who I am in such a pure way. (Oh gawd self-disclosure time again)

Scared the hell out of me. Not the most arousing story, but here goes.

Most of my life I was conditioned to be a loving vanilla guy. Anyways, my wife and me were fighting. It was a hum dinger of a fight too. I am sure we both deserved the yelling and screaming we each gave. However, there came a point when something inside me snapped and I said enough. But it wasn't for her so she continued.

I reminded her quietly that it was enough, but she presisted...

I told her you are pushing my buttons and my limits(haha how ironic I used those words naturally to descibe what was happening). When I said that, I gave her such a calm cool look, I could see she knew something very different was happening. I wasn't angry or yelling back like I was a moment ago, but she couldn't let it go and pushed one more time.

Wham! She was pinned against the couch and wall, my hand firmly around her neck. She started beating the hell out of me and I just held her there watching her struggle.

I remember asking her this question over and over as she struggled, "Is this what you wanted" "Is it?" The look of fear in her eyes was so vivid. I waited till she couldn't struggle anymore before loosing my grip to let her have air.

From that moment, something inside me changed, and I wasn't going to take shit anymore. Not from her, not from anyone. For the first time I felt the most comfortable with who I was.

About 6 months later during sex, my forearm found its way across her neck and for a moment cut of her air. When I noticed she had become so excited, I slid my hand up and gripped her neck firmly not cutting off her air, but just letting her feel the strength of my hand and she had the most amazing powerful orgasm.

It was then I got my answer I asked months ago, when I asked if she got what she wanted. I slow fucked her for almost an hour tighting and lossening my grip in her neck and watching her body respond again and again with orgasms. It was then I discovered my kink to control her and dominate her sexually.

A few years later I got online, and found a chat room, and was introduced to the BDSM community. I learned and learned as much as I could, I was like a sponge, and I began to understand about my Dominant side. Though my wife is not in the lifestyle, she is definately submissive. I am glad I don't get hung up on tags. :O)

Perhaps all my life I knew I had a dominant nature, but I repressed it. When it finally was free, I accepted that part about me, though I didn't understand it completely. Then my kink came and has grown healthily since. I was so grateful and still am to the community for helping me to understand and learn. I guess that's why I like to give back what I have learned in my own way.



Peace