How to write good sex scenes?

[SecretGuardian]

Hi. I want to start publishing stories here on Lit. I’m writing one about infidelity. I think I’ve done a decent job when it comes to the plot, but I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?
Thanks.

 

[karaline]

Hi. I want to start publishing stories here on Lit. I’m writing one about infidelity. I think I’ve done a decent job when it comes to the plot, but I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?
Thanks.

Caveat - there is an element of subjectivity in sex scenes, what follows is what I am looking for, and therefore strive to write.

When I'm writing the actual sex, my focus isn't be on mechanical description of the act itself, that should be a factor of course, but more important is the build up, the reaction of the participants, their internal dialogue, their physical responses, the noises they make. when proofing my own sex scenes I often think about them in terms of the 5 senses, I don't try to cover all the senses in every scene but its good to be aware of them.

Dialogue is important, both in that realistic dialogue is key to good writing, but also its quite an important erotic tool when writing sex. The reader can't see anything and although you can describe whats happening you reader is likely to be susceptible to a bit of dirty talk, I mean why else would they be drawn to erotica as a posed to a more visual type of porn?

Character development is really important too. You have to have a really good idea about who your characters are, and how they are going to respond to the situations they're confronted with, you don't necessarily have to write every detail down within the tale but it needs to be in your head. this particularly helpful when writing sex, because different characters should respond to sex differently.

I find sex scenes hard to write, it's a challenge to keep coming up with original ways of writing them, especially in the later chapters within a series. It's helpful is if you have a very clear view of your character and how s/he is going to respond differently, be turned on by different things, do different things, then its a bit easier to write interesting sex scenes.

Sex in response to different situations is more authentic and interesting too. For example are you characters having make up sex? Are they having sex despite their better judgement? Are they having rushed, or secret sex? Are they afraid they are being watched etc.

Finally read. Read voraciously, read critically. Take a note of what you like, figure out how its done.

Hope that helps

 

[AlinaX]

I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?

Ah, well that's the question, isn't it. I like to think I can write sex scenes, but I know I'm generally too hasty, and I have so much admiration for authors who can sustain erotic tension almost effortlessly.

A lot of the advice is quite generic:
- avoid repetition of obvious words, although some judicious repetition à la "Harder! Harder! Oh fuck yes! Yes! Fuck! Fuck! Yes fuck! Ohh!!!" is perhaps okay.
- That said, don't distract the reader with "Fuuuck!!! Ohhhhh!!!!! YYYYEEEESSS!!!!" or weird euphemisms for body parts.
- It has to be possible for the reader to understand what sex is actually happening, and for it to not to be completely weird. One person's hot lesbian scene is another's "Oh, god, I hate straight male authors."

Ultimately, though, assuming you can actually write well and all the above is obvious, good sex scenes are far more about the seduction than the physical act itself. "I was walking down the street yesterday when suddenly I was jumped by a gang of sexy futanari who filled me every conceivable way with their thick, creamy cum," for example, is quite an image, but far less interesting than, "Today I walked down that same street, replaying the memory of every hard cock that penetrated me, the sour-sticky fluid that dripped endlessly from my chin to stain the very shirt that I still wore like a trophy of excess, and I prayed - to what obscene gods I cannot say - for a repeat of that exquisite ravishment..."

When writing the sex itself, I often head off at brief tangents in the midst of it to make the scene longer. I use long sentences as I build up to the climax, sustaining if possible the sweet tension until it lingers at the erotic precipice that arguably exceeds in pleasure the famous ecstasy that follows... until yielding at last to the convulsing relief of the grand - and very often messy - conclusion.

 

[SimonDoom]

It can be difficult to do right. I agree with what the other two commenters have said so far. I have a few ideas:

1. First, think of the sex scene as the culmination of the drama -- as an interaction between two (or more) human beings and not just a mechanical act. Write it that way.

2. Get inside their heads. Narrate what's going on inside, and how they are feeling, not just what's happening physically. But be careful about hopping back and forth between two people's perspectives. That be tricky to do well. Usually it's best to tell a sex scene from one perspective, but I don't always follow that guideline.

3. Incorporate all the senses -- scents, tastes, sounds, sights, touch, etc.

4. Make sure you mix together narrative, dialogue, internal thoughts -- the whole works. A sex scene, like any scene, works much better this way. I think good dialogue really spices up a sex scene.

 

[mrsjonnie]

Hi

I always try and keep it real. Not all men have huge cocks, not all women are slim with huge boobs, not all locations are like in a porn film. I like to take care to build the scene, the location, the sounds, the feel the look of a location. It all adds up to a feeling, as a woman, I can then possibly relate to? I like my sex scenes believable and something I might have done or at least imagine being able to do or try. I write stories based on real events or at least partially real events I have been involved in.
Hope this helps?

x

 

[KeithD]

Do a lot of reading of sex scenes in genres that turn you on try to capture what turned you on in your own writing. And, in contrast to the "keep it real" I just read, consider that this is all about arousal. A bit of fantasy can click that on a lot faster than "keep it real" will.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Two very different answers.

First, the big picture. ‘Strokers’ are just physical action. Anything more than that, particularly so for female readers, emotions, dialogue and personal relationships are as important, if not more so, than the insert-tab-A-into-slot-B mechanics. Buildup is important. Thoughts are important. To me, a well-written erotic story would still be erotic even if the actual sex was removed.

Second response, for when you are actually crafting the sex scene. What turns you on in sex? What’s your personal turn-on? What lights your own fires? Think about that and then write it.

Good luck.

 

[Ginlover]

Loads of great advice already given. I’m going to add rhythm.

Sex is not one pace from start to finish. I don’t write poetry but I think about poetry or how a song is laid out. The verse the repeating chorus the building of the beat until the singer is shouting out the words. I keep that in mind when writing a sex scene. A wall of text to read doesn’t easily lead a reader to take a breath, to follow the natural rhythm of sex.

I use line breaks and shorter sentences to the point of one word sentences when I want to make a point in the scene.

If you are aiming to turn on the reader or have a stroke story you need the reading time to match how long it takes from turned on to coming. By adding line breaks you can give the reader time to catch up.

There are readers who just want to know the characters have got to sex and are not looking to be turned on. They will care a lot less about the rhythm of a sex scene, but if you want to turn the reader on think about the rhythm.

In A Nice Mug of Tea, my Covid submission, I twice paused the sex for the characters to drink tea lol I also let them stop or slow and have a teasing conversation. It’s a hot stroke story with a ridiculously long sex scene but the action wanes and peaks through out.

 

[Privates1stClass]

Hi. I want to start publishing stories here on Lit. I’m writing one about infidelity. I think I’ve done a decent job when it comes to the plot, but I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?
Thanks.

The issue, as I see it, is to transfer the images and thoughts in your head, as the author, to create those same images and thoughts in the reader's head. If your writing works well, the reader will "see" what was in your head when you wrote it.

So, as a writer, you'll need a good plot, interesting characters, vivid imagery, and writing skills to piece it all together. As a previous commenter mentioned, use all five senses in a sex scene--or if you can't use them all, use as many as you can.

Besides the sex act itself, my advice is to focus your attention on how the characters react to the sensations their sex partner gives them, their thoughts (expressed in dialogue), and how they respond to their sex partner.

My opinion is that a story is better if there's a plot with some sex in it rather than a story that's about sex only. However, your mileage may vary. I'd also suggest you find an editor and/or proofreader to give you some advice and to bounce ideas off of.

Lastly, good luck with your stories!

 

[sirhugs]

Over on the Story Index there is a whole "Writers Resources" section you might find helpful:

https://www.literotica.com/storyxs/writ_stor.shtml

One entry is actually called "How to Write a Good Sex Scene"

https://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-write-a-good-sex-scene

 

[shaayyne]

Hi. I want to start publishing stories here on Lit. I’m writing one about infidelity. I think I’ve done a decent job when it comes to the plot, but I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?
Thanks.

The word I see sticking out in your post is the word exciting.

A written sex scene need not be exciting. It could be quite "vanilla" sex and be a well-written, "good" if not great sex scene.

Full disclosure, while there are thousands of ice cream flavors, old-fashioned vanilla ice cream is by far my favorite of all flavors. There is just something about vanilla that speaks to my pallet and my senses, intoxicating my very being.

It could be the flavor's purity, as there's nothing artificial about the smooth, white, creamy treat. It could be the deliberate process that homemade vanilla ice cream is created.

There's just something about the way the seed of the vanilla bean perfectly intertwines in harmony with the wholesome milk, the sweet sugar, the heavy cream, a hint of salt, and the very yoke of the eggs that allow the combination to passionately entangle as it first warms to a boil filling the room with a heavenly, mouth watering, sensual, comforting aroma before slowly cooling to room temperature.

Once finally cooled, it is finally churned and then chilled, hardening before being served frozen and perfect in its unadulterated, pure white bliss.

Eating, savoring, enjoying the finished product is a whole additional story!

 

[SecretGuardian]

Thank you all for your advice!
I have read them and will try to apply them in my own stories.

 

[Blind_Justice]

How to write good sex scenes? I've been doing this for nine whole years now and I still wing it every time. Or as our British friends put it: "Buggered if I know."

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thank you all for your advice!
I have read them and will try to apply them in my own stories.

Write what arouses you, what turns you on. There's no formula, just take your time. It's not a race to finish first... except where it is .

 

[RichardWark]

All of the advice here is good, and especially remember that rules can be broken. While it was good advice up above, for example, not to stretch out words, sometimes a well-placed "Ooohhh!" can work. A thesaurus can be your friend to avoid repetition.

I don't pretend my own stories live up to these expectations. Analysis is often easier than performance, but it doesn't make the observations invalid.

And reading is key. I mentioned "Fanny Hill" in a post the other day, and since I had it on my mind, revisited it. It is still one of the most erotic reads ever.

The "trash" novelists of the 50s and 60s were on to something, with well done characters and scenes, some of which broke all of the rules mentioned here. I remember reading one where the sex scene was all through a monologue by the woman being fucked, something on the order of "Oh, baby, I'm lying here open to you naked and --oh! You're inside me and filling me and we're pushing together in time, time, time, oh God it's wonderful!" Nobody in their right mind would ever attempt to write that now, and probably shouldn't have then, but I remember it and, at least in that particular situation, it worked better than some Penthouse Letters I've read.

A good sex scene probably should maintain a sense of wonder and maybe even a little tiny bit of guilt, which is why a lot of incest stories here are very good; even though I have no desire to have sex with my parents or siblings, the little bit of guilt that accompanies many of them is what makes the story interesting.

Part of it is the old Woody Allen bit - "Is sex dirty?" "Only when you're doing it right."

Richard Wark
wark2002

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=5430653&page=submissions

 

[HappySpouse]

Of course the positive and negative qualities of a sex scene are completely subjective, and there are some good general comments already. So, I'll just tell you specifically what my favorite erotica sex scenes tend to read and be written like. Just FYI, I've only published a handful of fictional sex scenes. (long time reader, long time writer, still kinda inexperienced at putting things out there.)

Although it is not always the case, I picture the reader masturbating or at least experiencing a physical reaction to the sex scene. Then, try to have the scene make-love to the reader the way that the characters are doing it.

So, if it is a quick "wham bam thank you ma'am" Then the words are dirtier, the prose is shorter and more mechanical. It is goal oriented. The reader is rushing with the characters to get off (perhaps only emotionally) in a couple paragraphs.

If it is a profound experience, then almost all of the action is described as an emotional experience and the mechanics of the scene are barely noticed through a fog of experiences and sensory input.

My real favorites, to read and write, have what I think of as a kind of "literary edging" (probably because I have delayed ejaculation and no one task is getting me anywhere). What I mean by that is that the scene takes you right up to the edge then switches positions, then right up to the edge and...left turn into an unexpected event, then up to the edge and gives a side story, then right up to the edge before starting at the bottom of a mountain and writing all the way to the peak. Just doing the reader the way I might do my spouse, resetting and shifting to keep her from cumming too soon, delivering more pleasure overall with a bigger finish.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I've said this before, but: I find it helpful to approach a sex scene like a conversation. People come into it wanting something - could be physical pleasure, emotional reassurance, a fuck-you to somebody else, a feeling of power, etc. etc. They probably don't have exactly the same priorities, so there's a sort of negotiation to reach something they can agree on, a back-and-forth which might involve both words and physical touch.

 

[SisterJezabel]

I think the other thing to remember is that although this is an erotica website, sometimes less is more. I've tried that in my latest and thus far it seems to have been received pretty well.

 

[Handley_Page]

Hi. I want to start publishing stories here on Lit. I’m writing one about infidelity. I think I’ve done a decent job when it comes to the plot, but I don’t like the outcome of the sex scenes.
In reading them I have the impression that they are not as exciting as they should be.
Could someone give me some advice on how to make a good sex scene?
Thanks.

Read as many as you can first.
Don't forget that Lit is a fantasy land, so my best sexy may well be your turn-off.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

For me, the details related to a sex scene will depend upon the genre I am targeting.

In my novels, I spend much more time developing the characters. When sex occurs, the action is more "inferred" than detailed. Readers hopefully have an idea of the characters involved, whether they are passive or aggressive, a "giver" or a "taker", and what experiences in the story have lead them to that point.

In my shorter stories, the sex is more descriptive and detailed.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Don't forget that Lit is a fantasy land, so my best sexy may well be your turn-off.

Very true, but in a site this size, it's a virtual certainty that somebody out there will like it, too. (I'm sometimes surprised we don't have a special section just for sex with female tattooed albino giants with prosthetic legs. )

Rule 34 says that if it exists, somebody has made it into porn. The flip side of that is that there are people enjoying that porn.

So, write what you will, I think. The worst that can happen is that your potential audience is smaller.

 

[SimonDoom]

I want to second what Handley_Page wrote. One of the best ways to learn to write well is to read a lot. Read stories here, focus on the stories you like, with sex scenes you enjoy, and ask yourself, what makes them good? The things I wrote about in my previous post may have nothing to do with what makes a sex scene sexy to you. Write what YOU think is sexy. But give some further thought, through reading others' stories, into what makes stories sexy.

I read stories here for over 10 years before I published my first one, so by the time I wrote I had a pretty good idea what made a story sexy. So that's the standard I try to measure up to. But for you, it's your standard that matters most.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

And now a word about what you are writing about... infidelity. I assume you will be putting this in the Loving Wives category. Now go take a look at some of those and read the comments and look at the scores.

I don't want to put you off of what you are doing, just be prepared. Actually, take a look at my category list.

As for sex scenes, a lot of good advice here.

Good luck and welcome to the nut house.

 

[Haulover]

How to write good sex scenes?

One suggestion:

Find a good porn video of the kind of scene you're trying to describe (xhamster, xnxx, or similar sites).

Watch closely, and write about what you're seeing.

Then re-visit what you've written and put yourself in the minds and bodies of the participants, and describe what they're thinking and feeling.

Then - edit as appropriate to ensure it fits the context of your overall story - and add dialog as needed.



I haven't needed to do this, but I'm keeping it in my back pocket as a 'tool' in case I run into writer's block about a sex scene.

 

[HeyAll]

No fancy pros (sex words are powerful the way they are).

What are they doing?

What are they thinking?

What makes the sex acts taboo?

Why should the reader care?