How to tell my mom...

[shaun007]

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[unregistered]

 

[shaun007]

Reply

Hmmm...this is a great question, infinitely better than what I was expecting after reading the title. I haven't been in your situation on either side, but have you tried just coming out and asking her? "Mom, this feels a bit awkward, but it's important to me. Do you think about dating?"

Thanks for the response. It is a interesting question. To come out and tell her is a bit scary cos its not normal discussion but id like her to date. Shes been single for a while now and id like her have some fun especially some sexual fun lol

 

[monoblanco]

I must admit, I had the same initial thought that J did based on this thread's title, but...

It is an awkward situation but I think J's advice is spot on.

And probably leave out the bit about 'sexual fun'. Just sayin...

 

[shaun007]

lol

I must admit, I had the same initial thought that J did based on this thread's title, but...

It is an awkward situation but I think J's advice is spot on.

And probably leave out the bit about 'sexual fun'. Just sayin...

Thanks Shes 56 now but looks much younger just want her to he happy and satisfied lol.. cant tell her that I guess lol

 

[Eilan]

Sorry, but I don't think your mom's love life is any of your business. *shrugs*

 

[Rozalin_0123]

I would just ask her if she's happy being single. Say that you're concerned that maybe she feels lonely. Go from there.

And like other's said, leave the sexual parts out of the conversation.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I'm going to agree with the "it's only your concern if she offers it to you" advice. That being said, I think it's fair to lead the discussion to future plans for each of you. You might offer concerns about your own future and see if she offers thoughts about hers.

I approached the topic with hesitation after my divorce because I had 3 teenage sons at the time and wasn't sure about introducing them to someone special.

my youngest son (about 13 at the time) said something like..

"of course you can date.. it's not like you're young enough to have sex"

 

[Rozalin_0123]

I'm going to agree with the "it's only your concern if she offers it to you" advice. That being said, I think it's fair to lead the discussion to future plans for each of you. You might offer concerns about your own future and see if she offers thoughts about hers.

I approached the topic with hesitation after my divorce because I had 3 teenage sons at the time and wasn't sure about introducing them to someone special.

my youngest son (about 13 at the time) said something like..

"of course you can date.. it's not like you're young enough to have sex"

Kids say the damnedest things sometimes

Hopefully you didn't take it too personally.

 

[SunDevilGirl]

Your mom probably is dating and having sex. She just isn't telling you about it.

 

[amyforfun]

I would just ask her if she's happy being single. Say that you're concerned that maybe she feels lonely. Go from there.

And like other's said, leave the sexual parts out of the conversation.

I think this is some of the best advice. Her happiness should be your concern. She may be happy not dating and that is okay too.

I think if you can steer the conversation to let her know that you are okay with her dating would be good.

 

[amofiga]

I agree with not pushing the issue, but sometime during a simple discussion it's ok to ask if she's thought about dating again and that it would probably be good for her to make some new contacts even if it's just to go out to a movie or dinner. You don't need to push her into bed with anybody. That's really her private decision.

 

[twister947]

IT's ok for her to meet guys and have a bit of fun. I know its holding her back thinking that I might dissapprove. Any ideas..

Make it clear that you DO approve. Say it once, then shut up. To paraphrase Robert Redford in an old movie I can't remember the name of, "Once is cool, twice is creepy."

 

[Athalia]

I agree with not pushing the issue, but sometime during a simple discussion it's ok to ask if she's thought about dating again and that it would probably be good for her to make some new contacts even if it's just to go out to a movie or dinner. You don't need to push her into bed with anybody. That's really her private decision.

I agree. If I were you, I'd just make a simple declaration: "If you want to start dating, Mom, I just want you to know that I'm totally OK with that." Then drop the subject unless she pursues it. Sometimes women are concerned that their dating might be a signal to their kids that she wants a new father figure in their lives that they may not approve of, and just need a little reassurance that it isn't going to be taken that way.

 

[7inchglory]

just tell her you a great guy she should meet, and that you're not afraid of her going out and meeting other guys